From Where Peace Comes
by kathey'ssis
Summary: when Mike Stocker's father dies Mike can't seem to find out any details and what little he knows haunts him until a rescue worker who was with him just prior to his death arrives as the station with letters his father wrote and information Mike needs
1. Chapter 1

The light from the full moon shown through the window and on to Hank Stanley's face as he slept at the station. It would only be a short while before the moon advanced in the sky so that it would no longer shine in his eyes and all he needed to do to be able to go back to sleep was roll over but for the moment he was awake. Taking a moment he listened and he could quickly tell that something was a miss. He had been at the station long enough to recognize the sounds each of his men make when they were sleeping soundly. Chet had one snore when he was on his side and another when he rolled over on his back and when he rolled on his back it was usually because of a stressing dream. Marco had more of a hum to his snore and Johnny was known to mumble in his sleep. A quiet mumble usually meant he was dreaming about a nurse he was either dating or trying to date. Anything louder and he would soon be waking up from some kind of a nightmare. Roy was a late night snacker and usually had his stomach rumbling. It didn't take Hank long to realize that the stations late night symphony was missing its base section, Mike's deep rhythmic snore.

Rising his head to get a look across the way he could quickly see that Mike was in his bed and the moon light was enough to see that he lay on his back with his eyes wide open, but more than that the moon light reflected off the moisture trailing from his eyes down his cheeks and into his pillow. There were no sobs now but Hank knew they were coming, they'd be quiet and if he were to say anything Mike would just roll over and hide his face while he dried his eyes with the back of his hands and then later when he thought Hank had gone back to sleep he would get up and go to another room to work out his sorrow on his own.

Hank had had several long office conversations with his engineer and Mike had opened up enough that he knew his tears were for his father who had died after being trapped in a building after an explosion nearly six months ago. His anguish came from too many things left unsaid in combination with not nearly enough information about how his father actually died leaving the imagination to run wild and think the worse. No matter what Hank had tried he had not been able to find the answers his engineer and friend needed. That information just wasn't in the systems at his disposal.

As Hank silently rolled over and got comfortable again he thought back on that day. He had been in his office cussing under his breath about receiving the wrong typewriter ribbons again when the door bell rang. He had gone to the door expecting it to be the right ribbons being delivered only to find the Department Chaplain along with the condolence officer on call. Instantly Hank had known it was bad news that was being delivered and the addition of a replacement engineer told him who the news was for. He had known at the time that Mike's mother was battling cancer but they had been optimistic and this was not the way he would have expected Mike to get the news if his mother's passing.

As soon as the chaplain stepped into the bay everyone froze and Hank remembered feeling sorry for the guy to always be received in that manner. Hank could still remember the was every eye in the station turned to Mike when the replacement engineer followed behind and the pale look on his friends face as his knees failed him and he lowered himself to the running board of the engine he had been polishing.

"I regret to inform you," the condolence officer began and Hank remembered thinking they should have pulled him in the office first because Mike was such a private man but Hank knew they told him in front of the rest of the crew to give him the support of friends at his time of sorrow. Hank remembered that he hadn't even been able to get to his engineer's side to place a hand on his shoulder before the condolence officer finished. "That your father Michael Jaron Stocker Sr. was pronounced dead on arrival at the hospital after being removed from the rubble of the explosion at the apartment building in Fullerton California."

"My da- Dad, b- but what was he doing there?" Mike had asked a question among hundreds that were still waiting to be answered.

Stoker home in Whittier CA


	2. Chapter 2

Author's note: I have most always had the plot in mind before I write the first chapter and I then let the story unfold sometimes feeling that it writes it self and my job is just to get the words in the computer. That's pretty much the way this story started but I must admit this one's not writing itself very well. Please be patient with me because I think I need to know how this story ends up more than any one reading it and my Daughter is begging me to write one about Mike. The next chapters should come quicker I think I know what their about.

Chapter 2 Peace

At roll call the next shift Captain Stanley noticed one on his men didn't look as rested as he should have been but thanks to a report he found on his desk when he arrived that morning he knew why. As the rest of the men were dispatched to various assignments Mike Stoker was assigned to the Captain's office.

"I have a report here telling me how all your help to dig out the victims of the mud slides was appreciated." Hank started and Mike immediately lowered his head to the floor. Mike had heard the lecture that was coming before and he knew it was coming again. "Mike, you can't wear yourself out off shift like this and still be in top form for your shift." Then Hank said something new that not only showed he had figured out why his engineer volunteered like he had been doing but forced Mike to acknowledge the reason himself.

"Mike, no matter how many people you dig out in situations like these you're not going to bring your father back."

Mike's head hung lower and after several heaving sighs the sobs were heard. "We all knew they were digging victims out of that apartment blast, it had been on the news for four days. If I'd have been there helping maybe we could have gotten him out in time."

"You don't know that Mike, You can't keep doing this to your self." Hank counseled but knew full well his words were falling on deaf emotions.

"Mike, I'd like you to talk with the councilor again, I think you need so one to help you work past this."

"He'll just tell me to find out what happened first," Mike countered. "So he'll know what to help me deal with."

"We've already tried that," Hank shared his engineer's frustration. "There just isn't any information out there,"

"There has to be," Mike looked up for the first time, "There has to be someone who remembers him, knows what happened to him, someone who knows why he was there." "There has to be someone who realized he was a person and not just some slab of flesh and bones that they bagged and hauled to a warehouse somewhere to await processing."

Hank reached out and placed a hand on his friends shoulder, "Mike, it's time to let it go."

"I can't Cap, I just can't." "I have to know." "Someone out there has to know what happened."

Hank released the engineer from his office but pondered what to do for him for the rest of the morning between the responses to two different fires. He was at his desk checking a resource book on dealing with the mental health of rescue workers when he heard the bell to the front door. "I'll get it."

When Hank reached the front door he was surprised to see a nice looking young lady with straight shoulder length hair pulled back in a tight pony tail dressed in a nice denim pants suit. Her arms were folded across her chest holding some kind of book.

"Well hello ma'am how can I help you?" Hank asked as he opened the door and granted the young woman entrance.

"I'm looking for someone named Michael Stoker, he's a fireman engineer and I have some information that says he might work at this station but I don't know for sure or what shift he may be on."

"It just so happens that we do have a Firemen Stoker on our crew may I ask what you want him for?"

"I have some thing to give to him," The woman stated and Hank noticed that she looked extremely tired or possibly ill.

"I could give it to him for you," Hank offered.

"Thank you, but I would really like to deliver it in person if that's permissable."

"All right then, follow me." Hank guided the young women into the bay where most of his men were working on cleaning up the equipment after the fire they had returned from that morning. Hank wondered what it was that she might have for Stoker and only hoped it would be something that would bring him closer to the information he had been looking for, for all these months. He watched her closely as they entered the bay and saw her eyes scan the men in the room. He could see the recognition in her face when she found Mike.

"That's him," she whispered. "That's him," she sighed and clutched the book in her arms tightly.

Noticing that they had company the men of the station started moving closer.

"Mike you have a visitor."

"Yea, Cap." Mike climbed down from the engine and walked toward the pair standing in front of the Squad.

"This is a, I'm sorry ma'am I didn't get your name," Hank turned to his guest and saw that her entire focus was on his engineer.

"Laura, Laura Elmer." She spoke with out taking her eyes off of the engineer who was now starting to look rather nervous in her gaze.

"I'm sorry," Laura broke from the near trance she had fixed on the fireman. "I've spent so much time trying to figure out how I was going to find you so that I could give you these. I haven't given any thought to what I would say once I finally got to this point." She extended the book in her hand toward the confused firefighter who accepted it and looked it over to see that it was some kind of a book used to order supplies.

"Have we met?" Mike tried to interpret the recognition in her eyes.

"No, um," Laura took a deep breath. "I'm a rescue worker; I've been working with a group that helps in all kinds of situations, and approximately six months ago--"

"You were with my Dad," Mike gasped as his face paled and he froze in his spot between the two trucks. Hank let out a sigh and made his way to the stunned fireman's side taking hold of his arm to help support him.

"We worked together to rescue the survivors of an explosion at an apartment complex not too far from here," Laura responded.

"What do you mean worked together?" Mike questioned in confusion, "My dad wasn't a rescue worker he was a—"

"Structural Engineer," Laura finished for him, "And a damn good one. He told me once you'd never believe he was doing what he did; you'd have been real proud of him though, he was very instrumental in getting some twenty or so survivors out alive. He was there to tell the rest of us where best to place the support beams and where it was safest to cut through the walls to get to those that were trapped in the rubble. He also told me that he finally really understood why you love the work that you do."

"I was told that he had to be dug out of the rubble." Mike continued in confusion as his captain pulled him toward the running board of the engine and placed a hand on his shoulder to push him to a seated position as Laura took a few steps forward to follow him.

"There were three of us that fell through the floor at one point and it took them a while to dig us out," Laura confirmed with a nod of her head as she found the other end of the running board and sat down facing Mike.

There was a long pause as Mike let what he had heard seep in trying to figure out what question he needed to ask next.

"I don't understand," Mike looked at the order forms book in his hand. "Why are you giving me an order book?"

"While we were waiting for them to dig us out after we went through the floor your father wanted to write some letters. The order book from my bag was the only paper available in that hole to write on."

Laura sat watching Mike's expressions carefully as he opened the book and started to cry when he recognized the hand writing on the backs of the forms.

"I'm sorry it's taken me so long to get them to you but I just found them a couple of weeks ago when I was trying to order the supplies to restock my medical bag. I guess after they got us out of that hole in the ground someone must have stuck it back in my bag."

"Thank you." Mike was getting his composure back and slowing his breathing. Still any effort to read the letters he now held in his hand was in vain his eyes were far too moist to focus on the written word.

"It must be hard after this long," Laura spoke nervously, "You were probably starting to move on with your life and now I've brought it all back again, I'm sorry. When I found the letters I thought you would want; well I know your father wanted you to have them or he wouldn't have written them."

"I do want them, Thank you," Mike stammered slightly searching for words to express his feeling and yet still overwhelmed.

"I know he's very grateful miss," Captain Stanley spoke for his conversation challenged crewman, "I've been trying to help him find out details about what happened since his father's funeral. We just haven't been able to get any information."

Laura let out a deep sigh and brought her hand to her forehead, "Some one called me a couple of months ago and asked me if I could tell them anything about the man that coded on the way to the hospital, but I didn't make the connection and had no idea who they were talking about."

"If you have time," Mike found his voice and the question he wanted to ask next, "I would really like to hear every thing you can remember."

Laura looked at him for a moment and then sighed again. "I don't have any plans I guess I could stay as long as I need to."

"How would you like to join us for lunch," Captain Stanley extended an invitation, "I'm not sure what's on the menu but you could start talking while we're eating."

"Well I'm used to eating military rations so I'm sure what ever's fixed with be gourmet, thank you."

"I'll go make sure they know we're going to have company then and Mike can bring you along in a few minutes."


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

"Thank you," Mike said for the fourth time since his Captain had left to see to it that the table was set for company and taking the rest of the crew with him leaving Mike and this young lady alone on the running board of the fire engine.

"May I call you Mike?" Laura asked as she turned to face him more directly and scooted just a little bit closer.

"Yeah, Sure," Mike answered nervously and Laura stopped her advance.

"Are you o-kay Mike?"

"Yeah I'm fine," Mike said very quickly as she sat straighter no longer resting against the engine.

Laura knew better but she didn't know him well enough to be sure how to proceed.

"Tell me what happened, from your end." Laura asked as she rested her tired head against the pump valve.

Mike was surprised by her question and had to think for a moment before he answered. "the a, the Department grievance counselor and chaplain came here while I was as work and told me that my dad was DOA after being dug from the rubble at, at that apartment building," Mike said it all.

"That's it, no further explanation, no details?" Laura sat up and leaned toward him resting on her knees.

Mike shook his head and looked to the bay floor. "Cap's been trying to help me find out what happened but we haven't been able to get any information."

"And you've been thinking that he'd been there from the beginning and if only you had been there to help dig him out he'd still be alive." Laura could see right through him now just like she was looking into a mirror. "Damn when are they going to learn they can't do that to people like us?"

"What do you mean by people like us?" Mike looked offended.

"People who dedicate their lives to taking care of other people when everything goes wrong. We expect the same thing for the people we love and need to know they got everything we would give to the perfect strangers we take care of."

"Yeah, sometimes you see how they take care of the bodies of the people in some of these mass casualty situations. And---"

"The workers on cadaver duty are cold and heartless, treating the bodies like a side of beef at a slaughter house

"Yeah," Mike was cringing with every word she was saying.

"You have to remember the workers are people too, with feelings they're not equipped to deal with. Most of the ones who treat their victims like that have reached the point where they need some serious help of their own. And when that happens there is usually a lot more bodies that need to be removed from the scene before they can even think of getting the help they need."

There was a stiff silence as Laura watched Mike think through what she had said but she saw something more something she had seen in the mirror many times but none more than in recent months.

"Mike, may I have permission to hold your hand?" Laura's request startled Mike who looked at her blankly and made no comment but absent mindedly rolled his hand over on his knee and Laura took hold of it.

"How long before they dug him out did he," Mike couldn't form the word.

"Your father was alive and talking when they pulled him out of the hole. I thought he was in really good shape in fact. He made them wait to lift him out so that he could show them how to frame everything up to get me out safely."

"He did!"

"Yeah, he did, your dad was an amazing man," Laura added a smile to her words. "He really knew his stuff too. By the time the dust settled after we fell he was able to tell us how long it was going to take them to get us out and, if I remember right, he was with in fifteen minutes of the actual time. He was also able to convince us that we were safe until help arrived. I dare say the time we spent in that hole was more relaxing than some of the vacations I've had." Laura joked but Mike wasn't able to laugh.

"How did he,"

"I don't know," Laura admitted still holding onto Mike's hand, "It took them another forty-five minutes after your father was removed before they were able to cut the reinforced concrete to get me out. After and hour at the hospital to get my head sewn up I was rushed off to the airport to catch a plane. I'm ashamed to admit that I never even knew your father had passed away until a few weeks ago when I found the letters he'd written and tried to find out where to send them."

Laura knew she had something to share that would help Mike get through what she was seeing in his eyes but she also knew it would be more effective if he was given time to sort through each piece of information and not overwhelmed all at once. So for now she quietly sat next to him on the fire engine's running board and held his hand watching his eyes for the sign that he was ready for his next dose.

"Lunch is ready," the call came out and Mike quickly jerked his hand out of Laura's grasp as he sat at attention for a moment before he could acknowledge the call.

"I'll be right there," Mike responded then corrected, "We'll be right there," Mike then wiped his eyes with his hand and pushed himself to his feet looking again at the order book still in his hands. As his eyes started to fill with tears once again he forced and act of being in control and turned to his guest.

"Shall we go get something to eat?" Mike asked as he offered Laura a hand up.

Laura gave a silent nod to go with her warm smile and reached up to the offered hand but instead of taking his hand Laura reached past it and took hold of his elbow and started to pull herself up causing Mike to grasp her elbow in return.

With both now on their feet Laura kept her hold on the stoic firefighter as she tilted her head still looking in his eyes.

"I'm alright," Mike responded to her attentive yet questioning gaze.

"Not yet, but you will be," Laura responded letting him know she could see right through his act. "We'll get you your answers and you will get through this."

After a couple of deep breaths Mike was able to lead Laura into the common room and held a chair for her to sit at the table before he took a chair around the corner from her and accepted the food that was placed before them.

"Thank you very much, it smells terrific." Laura complimented Marco Lopez, the cook of the day. After a first bite and appropriate "MMM" sounds Laura turned her attention to the leader of the group.

"Captain---"

"Stanley," Hank responded to Laura's questioning pause in his direction.

"Thank you, Captain Stanley, there was a third person in that hole with Mike's father an I, he was a boot just out of the academy by the name of Randy, um Randy Olsen I believe, but I'm not sure if he spelled his name with an en or an on. Do you think you could use your connections to find him?"

"I'll give headquarters a call as soon as we're finished with lunch," Captain Stanley responded surprised that this information hadn't come forward in the last six months he had been trying to help Mike find some closure.

"Also one of the first things they did was drill a hole down to us and dropped in a camera and then a radio for us to communicate with the surface. Do you think they would still have those films and transcripts of the radio conversations?" Laura continued to inquire between bites.

"I'm sure they do." Paramedic John Gage spoke up, "They probably still have the tape of the conversations somewhere."

"I'll ask about it when I call headquarters." Hank was again amazed.

"What about the hospital records and the Ambulance transcripts?" Laura continued to list before taking another bite of lunch and adding, "This is really good," with a smile toward Marco.

"That, we have tried," Captain Stanley answered after chewing the food in his mouth, "We haven't been able to get any information at all. We were left with the impression that he was never transported to a hospital."

"Oh he was transported alright," Laura corrected the assumption, "There's got to be some records out there somewhere."

"Maybe he was taken in a private vehicle?" Paramedic Roy Desoto offered up between bites, "Or maybe a police car."

"I would think that very unlikely," Laura added thoughtfully, "He had an IV going while we were in the hole."

"Well in that case he should have had a paramedic with him," Roy added.

"I'll ask about that too while I'm on the phone with headquarters."

"If you can't get any where then perhaps Mike and I can go in when he get's off shift." Laura offered, "I have the kind of credentials that can get me past the receptionists and secretaries to the one's who can give the orders that will get results and if I take Mike along not only will he make sure I don't get lost six times on the way there but they won't dare turn down a request made by the son of a certified hero."

Mike sat up straighter at hearing his father referred to as a hero and the emotion was again threatening to break through his act. "I'm off tomorrow," Mike offered up with a hopeful sound to his voice.

"Then I'll just let them know to expect you." Hank offered wondering how this stranger had managed to get his engineer's confidence so quickly. "There is one thing I don't understand." Hank moved to get some answers of his own. "How was it that you came to be working at that particular rescue scene? From all this talk about getting lost I take it you don't live around this area."

"No, I'm not from around these parts; home for me is a place called Mountainair, population of around three thousand people, in New Mexico. As for how I ended up at that particular disaster scene, well that's a long story."

"We got time," Chester Kelly responded with a grin peaking out from under his bushy mustache, "Unless we get a call that is."

Laura looked at Mike again and the distant look in his eyes but he was looking at her. "I had just arrived at the airport from Baja, after working Hurricane Liza, over six hundred people died and thousands more were injured and then several more thousands became ill with cholera from the post hurricane conditions. Our group had finally been relieved and everyone was turned over to the locals and a religious group that had come in and I was sent home. I was ready to be released and as soon as I got on the plane I went to sleep, when we landed in LAX some stewardess shook me and I got up and got off the plane but I didn't really wake up, my publicist was there to pick me up, he was supposed to get me to a motel for the night and then I had a meeting with the publisher to negotiate a new printing the next day. As soon as I was in the car I was asleep again. The next time I was shaken we were at the remains of an apartment complex that had suffered some kind of an explosion. They had just found six young men in an apartment and after reinforcing the structure were about ready to pull them out. There were only two paramedics on hand and another team on the way but they were still ten minutes out. I knew that the reason we were there was because my publicist was trying to drum up publicity to increase the sales of my book and hopefully get me a better deal at me meeting the next day, and I was kind of steamed. It was a stunt he'd pulled before and I didn't like it but he knew me pretty well. Just like every other time he'd pulled that stunt before as soon as they brought the fourth victim out of the rubble and I could see that the two medics were being stretched a little thin, I couldn't just sit in the car any more."

"I hear ya," John Gage showed he understood the inability to just sit by.

"Once I flashed my credentials they were more than willing to allow me to help and I was telling myself that with only six patients this was a vacation. The second squad arrived and all four paramedics were loaded in to ambulances with the six victims and they were off to the hospitals and then some of the firemen were assigned to drive the squads behind them.

The last squad was just pulling out when word came in that they had found two more victims and they were alive. It had been just over seventy two hours and they were still alive. The kind of thing that keeps people like me going when there is really no hope left." Laura paused looking at her hands and smiling at the memory that she had made a difference.

"Pardon me," Roy Desoto interrupted, "But we usually don't allow nurses into an unstable structure, nothing personal but you're just not trained for it."

"That's pretty much what the guy in charge said," Laura scoffed, "That's when I did this," Laura then pulled a wallet from a pocket in her jacket and opened it flinging a card holder full of cards that stretched at least three feet.

Each of the men took a hold on part of the holder and started examining the individual certification cards.

"Not all of these are in English," Marco was first to notice.

"I quite often work in none English speaking countries."

"You're a Paramedic?" John Gage was surprised to see.

"You're right being a Nurse is not enough in situations like these, so even though I was already a nurse, after the awakening I got during the earthquake in Pakistan in 1974, I went to Paramedic school. Then I finished some other specialized training and I thought I could handle anything, I even wrote a couple of books. I just wanted to make a difference. When the foreman of the recovery crew saw that rack of cards and heard my publicist telling him about the Indonesia and China earthquakes I'd worked back to back, he just handed me a hard hat and said,"

"Right this way miss, is there any thing I can get for you?" Captain Stanley offered the male voice and feelings.

"Yep, that's what he said, almost word for word." Laura smiled absently then continued. "I managed to squeeze in to the opening to the apartment before the fire captain on sight found out I was there and found not only two but four girls, all room mates, all dehydrated after three days, they called the one squad back and brought me all the medical supplies that were left on it and I was in my element, I started two IV's on each of my new patients and ran 'em wide open. By the time the structural engineer on sight had told them where to cut a large enough opening for us to get out of there the girls were still week but looking pretty good. "

"The structural engineer you're talking about, that was My Dad," Mike asked quietly.

"Yea it was," Laura answered reverently.

"What happened next?" Mike pulled for more details.

"Your Dad was there when they finished sawing the opening and helped kick the slab of concrete away and then Randy climbed through the hole they made. There were no stokes or back boards available because they had used them all with the last load of survivors, so Randy just scooped them up and put the IV's in his mouth and then sort of duck waddled, because of the low ceilings, over to the opening and your Dad took the each girl as they were handed through and handed them over the one of the fire fighters that showed up and they carried them the rest of the way out." "Your Dad was great but he did a couple of things wrong, first he was in a bad position when he took the girls from Randy but the big NO, no was that he twisted," Laura turned in her chair to demonstrate, "When he handed the girls off to the next person."

"He hurt his back," Roy Desoto showed he understood as he placed his hand on his lower back and looking at his face one would almost think his back was hurting.

"Yeah," Laura confirmed, "After handing the last girl over he couldn't move, he was hurting pretty bad. I gave him a once over and was sure it was probably a pulled muscle but the foreman and the fire captain were screaming that the place was unstable and we needed to move him. So I found the last vial of Demerol in the supplies and gave it to him and once the pain started to ease up I climbed under one shoulder and Randy climbed under the other one and picked up the trauma box in his other hand and we started out." Laura paused to look at each one of the men in the room before continuing, "Men had been running back and forth across that very section for over twenty minutes with no problem, it must have been the combined weight of the three of us together that made the floor give way."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"How far did you fall?" Captain Stanley asked in a calm voice, he had been glancing at his engineer regularly and could tell he was on the edge but things had to be better than they were because in the last few hours he had learned that his father hadn't been in the rubble for days before his death only hours.

"I'm not sure, not too far," Laura answered thoughtfully, "No more than eight feet. The problem arose when the temporary framing supports came with us and brought two reinforced concrete walls over on top of us along with a small mountain of loose rubble." Laura used her hand to demonstrate how the two walls layered down on top of them and then sat quietly looking at Mike.

"How long before they were able to dig you out?" John asked and it was easy to see that the whole crew was listening in and interested in the story.

"We were there for nearly eight hours," Laura revealed.

"That must have been real scary," Chet commented and then wished he hadn't when he saw the look on Mike's face.

"It really wasn't that bad," Laura began to calm. "We could hear them working to get to us almost as soon as the dust settled. Mike's Dad was able to look over the way the supports fell and told us very quickly that we were safe. We had about a three to four foot head room and even though I was separated from the others by a slab of concrete Randy and I were able to move around some. Mike's dad had a support beam across his legs that we had to pry up but we were able to get the weight off enough to maintain a good blood flow to his lower legs fairly quickly." Laura shifted in her chair and rubbed at her shoulder for a moment, "We talked a lot and Mike's Dad pulled all of his family photo's out of his wallet and passed them around. Told us about his family and how proud he was of his kids. Randy talked about his girl friend and we gave him advice on how to propose to her."

"You must have had a flashlight of some kind down there with you." Captain Stanley figured out.

"Yeah, we did, two of them actually and one of the hard hats had a light on it too. The batteries died before they got us out but by then they had established communications with us and we spent the rest of the time telling jokes with some guy top side."

"So it wasn't too bad down there." Mike asked his face showing some relief. "Was my Dad in a lot of pain?"

"No I wouldn't say it was too bad, we all had to come to grips with some claustrophobia, and before they drilled the hole we worried about having enough air but after that we were able to keep each other calm, I know I managed to get a good nap. As far as the pain, I had given your Dad the Demerol before we fell and once that wore off I was able to start an IV in his leg with a little valium but as long as he wasn't moving around he was alright. His legs got numb at one point but I was able to rub his feet and get the circulation going a little better and he said that helped."

"Did either of you other two get hurt," Marco asked?

"Randy broke his arm in the fall. Mike's Dad used a catalog out of my bag and some tape to splint it and then tucked it in his shirt for a sling. I just banged my head a little. All in all we were pretty lucky but I must have missed something on your father." Laura turned to Mike. "I'm real sorry I didn't get him home to you. I really thought everything was going to be just fine."

Tears were starting to flow in Laura's eyes and she struggled with her emotions before she could continue. "Because of the concrete slab that separated us the only part of his body I could really check out were his legs below the support beam. He was talking to us the whole time and his petal pulse was good." She then turned to Mike and in frustrations asked. "Did they tell you what the cause of death was?"

"They are supposed to be sending my Mom a copy of the Autopsy report," Mike answered his mental alertness growing stronger but his emotional and physical exhaustion still showed. "The last I talked with her though she hadn't received it yet."

"Unfortunately that's not uncommon. I might be able to help you out there a little," Laura offered, "But we'll need a copy of the death certificate."

"I can get that." Mike offered there was a strange sense of hope in his voice that betrayed the loss of his father but his friends and co-workers knew how much he needed to know the things this stranger was telling him.

There was a moment of non communications as lunch was finished then Laura looked at Mike, "I know that it's none of my business but how is your Mom doing, your Dad was telling me about her Cancer treatment while we were waiting to get dug out."

"She's doing pretty well, the doctors think they got it all and she finished her Chemo about a month after dad died." Mike reported not at all worried about sharing personal information with this girl. "So far the testing has shone her cancer free but they'll have to watch her for a couple more years."

"That's good so far. Has your sister had her baby yet?"

"NO," Mike smiled, "Any day now though, my brother-in-law made me sit down with him and study the emergency child birth section of the first aid manual," Mike Giggled a little, "He still calls me twice a week to see if he remembers what we've talked about."

"If I remember right this is the first grandchild for both families," Laura shared his smile.

"Yeah, it is, My Mom is really excited to be a grandmother." Mike's mental state had jumped but then plummeted again. "Dad was really looking forward to the new baby too."

"I remember," Laura acknowledged, "He talked a lot about the baby, almost as much as he talked about his Fire fighter son. He was really looking forward to talking to you about his experience; He told us several times how proud of you he was."

Hank Stanley reached up and placed his hand on his engineer's shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze as Mike fought to keep his tears in his ducts and let out a deep breath.

"So do you work as a Paramedic or a nurse in New Mexico when you're not chasing around the world working at big disasters?" John Gage asked. He was curious but mostly he wanted to pull some of the attention off on his friend who looked like he couldn't take any more.

"Sometimes," Laura answered, "sometimes I just need to veg out and regroup, get my head together again before I can be of any good to any one. That's when I've done most of my writing."

"So you write what kind of books," John asked, "Stories about the work you do? Fiction?"

"Informational books actually," Laura answered, "Most dealing with the emotional impact on the rescue and medical workers from the work that they do."

"Keep the Rescuers rescuing!" Captain Stanley spoke excitedly while pointing his finger at his guest. "I thought you looked familiar. The department sent me to one of your seminars last fall."

"Last Fall, you must have gotten me just after the back to back earthquakes." Laura commented, "In Vegas right?"

"That's right, you were very informative and the stories and photo's you showed had us all on the edge of our seats. You really had your hands full over there."

"We had out moments," Laura smirked slightly embarrassed as Hank Stanley turned to the rest of his men.

"She told a story about how the aid stations only doctor had a lacerated femoral artery and she had to surgically repair it while he was awake and telling her what to do and then he talked her through the surgery on four other patients."

"And I'm still trying to get my hands to stop shaking," Laura added.

"I can only imagine," Roy Desoto's eyes were wide.

"Did they make it?" John Gage asked in excitement. "I mean did everything come out alright? Did the Doctor keep his leg?"

"They all survived for the first twenty-four hours, then they were transferred to a hospital out of the quake zone and I have no idea what happened after that."

"Excuse me just a minute please," Captain Stanley pushed away from the table and hurried from the room only to return just a moment later with a book in his hand. "Could I please get your autograph?"

Laura took the well read paperback book from the Captain's hands and peeled open the front cover. "Where would you like it autographed?" she asked as she started reading all the notes he had jotted down inside the cover. "The last time I saw a book in this condition it had been used as first base," she added as she turned a few more pages to see sections highlighted and more notes scribbled in the margins. "Then left out when the sprinklers were turned on."

"It's a really good book," Captain Stanley offered as an explanation, "I refer to it often."

"Wow," Laura started to blush, "Gage pg, 16, Desoto page 20?" Laura read the notes inside the front cover. "Lopez chapter 10," Laura continued as she looked up into the puzzled faces of most of the men but a growing blush and a stubborn silence on the face of the captain. "Kelly chapter 23? I see." Laura gave the mustached fireman a look that caused him to squirm.

"What's chapter 23 about?" Kelly asked but Laura just gave him a mischievous grin as a response.

Still looking for a blank space to write on Laura turned to the back cover, "I don't look half bad with a mustache," she commented and Hank Stanley turned bright red, "I'll have to look into growing one."

"I tend to doodle," Captain Stanley squirmed and his men stifled giggles at his expense.

**Station 51, engine 38, smoke alarm at 2893 Wilmington, 2893 Wilmington time out 13:17**

Saved by the bell.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The call was at an office building that had been successfully evacuated with the exception of the Maintenance operator and the CEO who were running around the building trying to figure out where the smoke was coming from. The problem was that the smoke was coming from the vents and it was not an easy task to figure out the source. An hour later, after going from room to room it was found that a small space heater was left on in a closet in the very center of the basement starting a supply of paper products on fire.

It took nearly every foot of hose on the engine to reach the fire and all of ten minutes to get the fire out completely and then forty-five minutes to drain the hose and load it back on the engine. Before they were finished the Squad was called away for a possible heart attack.

When they backed big red into the equipment bay Mike hurried into the day room. As much as he wasn't surprised that Laura was no longer at the station he was clearly disappointed. Hank Stanley was quick on his engineer's heels and even though their guest was no longer present she had left gifts.

Captain Stanley's well read book was on the table on top of a stack of three other books. One book a hard back copy of 'Keep the Rescuers rescuing,' and two copies of another book titled, 'Never to strong to Crumble'. One copy a hard back the other a paperback. Tucked inside the cover of the top hard back copy was an envelope addressed to Captain Stanley, on the table next to them was a matching envelope addressed to Mike Stoker.

Cap handed Mike's envelope to him and he quickly opened it to read: I need to get some sleep but I copied the number off the phone there at the station and I'll call you in the morning to tell you where I can be found. I'm hoping that you will be willing to do the driving tomorrow but if not please be prepared to mark up a map with clear directions of how to get from where I'm going to wind up to where ever it is that we need to go. We can talk about it when I call in the morning. I promise you will get your answers before I'm through with these people and they will think twice before they do this to anyone else, Laura Elmer.

As Hank watched Mike while he was reading a subtle hand tried to sneak past his captain in an attempt to capture a copy of the book on the table. Being a good Captain means having good peripheral vision and he was able to place a hand on top of the stack of books before Chet was able to grab it.

"I just want to see what Chapter 23 is all about Cap," Chet coaxed.

"Uh hu," Cap grinned as he watched Mike fold the letter back up and stuff it back in the envelope out of the corner of his eye. "I'm not ready for you to know that yet." He said before scooping up the books on the table and tucking them under his arm. "I have a phone call to make," he said and gave his other two men a look before looking at Mike who was now sitting on the couch in deep thought while he rubbed the ears of station's resident basset hound.

Marco gave his captain a simple nod to show that the message had been received and Hank knew it was safe to leave the room.

The problem with calling headquarters was that it was guaranteed to mean long stretches of being on hold and he was sure from the beginning that this call was not going to be handled in their usual efficient manner. While he was on hold the first time Hank read the autograph just inside the cover of his new copy of the book he had turned to often before dealing with his men.

'To a sensational Captain who clearly knows and cares for his men, if I had had leaders like you over the years, I wouldn't have needed to write these books.' Hank felt humbled by her remarks but grinned as he noticed her signature was followed by a simple face doodle that included a mustache.

Once Hank repeated who he needed to talk to and was put on hold again, he pulled the envelope from the book and opened it. Unlike Mike's letter this one was sealed which peaked his curiosity. Pulling the pocket knife from his belt Hank used it as a letter opener.

Captain Stanley

I have never been more honored in my life as I was when I saw how diligently you have studied my work.

That said I'm sure you are well aware that our boy is on the edge. He's clearly not sleeping enough to rejuvenate and keep himself going for much longer and this has gone on far too long. Don't be surprised if he's not able to read the letter from his father right away. Don't rush him. I believe we have given him a life line today and hope that he'll soon be able to find the closure he not only deserves but needs. If at all possible it would be best if he could have a couple of days off to pursue and digest the information that is out there.

I totally agree with you that he's a chapter 4 and would advise you to employ chapters 17, 18, 19 and 20. For some reason I'm sure you're already on top of it but I might also suggest chapters 38 and 41 of the new book I've left for you.

I'm not sure how much help I'll be but for the next few days at least I'll do all that I can to help out still you know him much better than I do and should be able to get him to open up once he realizes he's ready to.

I'll call in the morning, hope you'll be able to get the ball rolling before then,

Laura Elmer.

Hank set the letter down and reached for the books on the desk when the person he was holding for came to the phone. Armed with Dates and names he was able to make his request for the information but was told they would have to call him back and then they hung up. Hank considered calling again and going one rung higher up the chain of command but his thoughts were interrupted.

**Station 51 Possible drug overdose Maple park, use south entrance, repeat use south entrance be advised Police are on scene advice coming in non code R.**

"Station 51 KMG365," Hank responded in automatic pilot as he copied the address down on a call slip. Out of the corner of his eye he watched as his men filed out of the common room and onto the engine. His engineer sporting his usual professional ready to go appearance but Hank knew him well enough to know it was just an act. The title of Chapter 4 is 'Bottled and Corked' and that was the best description for Mike's emotional state, much more so since his father passed away. Hank had been worried for some time now that his stoic engineer was headed for what the book called 'internal melt down' and he was very grateful to now have the assistance of a true expert to help him turn Mike around.

"Squad 51 10-4 responding from Rampart," was heard over the radio and Hank knew they were arrive well before the paramedics and only hoped they would have what it was going to take to keep things going until they could get there.

Cutting their sirens as they approached the park entrance Hank could see at least three police cars parked and several people laying on the ground. Loosing sight of the scene as they worked the engine through the narrow drive and parked behind the last police car Hank quickly climbed out and headed for the police officer coming toward him, his three crewmen right behind him.

"I don't have any idea what she's on but she is not in touch with reality," the police officer reported. "The information we've been able to get so far is that some boys were playing football and the ball accidently hit that camper over there. Then this woman came out and started checking everyone out like she was a doctor or something and they were all in a ten car pile up." "Since we've been here she's been ordering us to apply bandages and hold pressure on non-existing wounds, she keeps saying something about an aftershock and a collapsed building. So far we've just been playing along until you guys got here."

"Good idea," Hank replied, "We'll probably do the same until the squad get's here, they're better qualified to deal with this situation."

"Our one real concern," The Police officer added, "She is bare foot and there is a lot of broken glass where she's walking."

"I better see if I can go steer her away from it then." Hank offered before jogging off in the needed direction calling, "Kelly, Lopez, with me."

Weaving around the people seated or laying on the ground Hank made his way for the young woman who was checking the pupils of on of the police officers. She was holding her left arm to her chest and when she wasn't using her right arm it was moved to support her elbow and she looked to be in pain even from the back. Her hair was about four inches below her shoulders and had a rubber band in it but she had been sleeping and the hair was loose and uncombed. When she turned to face the on coming firefighters Hank gasped. It was Laura Elmer.

"Maggie!" Laura called out with controlled panic in her voice the kind he always heard from his Paramedics. "Thanks for coming so fast. Get Durham and Spenelli going on getting that shelter back up, Dr. Chun has a lacerated femoral artery we've got to do something with or he's going to loose his leg. There are four others with serious injuries but the rest are just minor stuff that can wait. We're going to be on our own now until tomorrow."

"Miss Elmer," Hank took a hold of her shoulders with his hands.

"Maggie, we've got to hurry if we're going to save these people's lives, Now hustle." Laura ordered and Hank thought he could see a glazed look to her eyes but her pupils didn't look to be those of someone under the influence of any substance.

"Laura!" Hank spoke louder and gave a gentle shake of the shoulders he was holding onto, "Laura Elmer."

Suddenly the look of controlled panic turned to one of total confusion as Laura looked into Captain Stanley's face. "What?" was all she seemed to be able to say as she turned her head to look at the area and the people staring back at her.

"Captain Stanley? Guys? What's going on here?" Laura asked in total confusion.

"I was hoping you could tell me," Hank said, "What's the last thing you can remember?"

"I a, I left the station, um, after you got called out, and a, um, was going to find a hotel or a Motel and get some sleep before tomorrow." Laura was remembering as she continued to look around as if she had never seen this place before. "The traffic here is so crazy here compared to back home and I was so tired I decided to stop here and rest my eyes for a while before in continued to search for a place to spend the night."

After a moment Laura was able to look directly at Captain Stanley, "I was dreaming about Indonesia and the after shock that hit while I was at the aid camp there." Then her eyes flew open wide, "Oh no, I was doing more than just dreaming wasn't I?"

"It would appear so," Captain Stanley managed to hide any hint of a smile as Laura nearly crumbled in total embarrassment.

"Is this your camper over here?" Captain Stanley asked noticing the New Mexico license plate.

"Yeah," Laura confirmed.

"What do you say we go sit down while you finish waking up?" Captain Stanley directed and so she wouldn't cut her bare feet on the broken glass around he scooped her up into his arms and carried her the short distance to her camper where she was sat down on the back bumper to regroup.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"How are you feeling?" Roy Desoto asked when he and his partner arrived and were briefed by the Captain.

"Embarrassed," was Laura's answer.

"Things like this happen to people in our profession." Johnny responded as he finished checking Laura's feet for any cuts.

"Yeah, Johnny here does his best work while he's sleep walking." Chet quipped. Laura had a comeback but Roy had just placed a thermometer in her mouth so she just gave him the same mischievous grin she had earlier at the station and nod her head mumbling something chapter 23. It had its desired effect on the fireman with the mustache who very quickly decided he had something else to do.

"You're running a slight fever." Roy informed Laura after reading the thermometer from her mouth. "It says 101.8." Roy waved the thermometer in Laura's direction.

"That may have contributed to your sleep walking," Johnny added, "You really should see a Doctor for treatment."

"Do we need an ambulance?" Captain Stanley responded quickly to the Paramedics reports.

"No, not for a slight temp," Laura spoke up quickly. "Even as directionally challenged as I am in this city I'm capable of finding an out patient department. Eventually."

"If you have a street map I can mark the route for you." Mike offered, "And yes I am very willing to do the driving tomorrow or when ever you're up to it."

"Thanks," Laura smiled and rested her head back against the camper.

"I could let you follow my patrol car to Rampart Memorial," a police officer offered.

"Aren't you the one that led me to the fire station this morning?" Laura squinted and shielded her eyes with her hand as she looked in to the face of the police officer talking to her.

"Yes Ma'am," The police officer stated then turned to Captain Stanley."She got turned around and confused in some road construction detours this morning; I let her follow me to your station."

"Thank you," Mike showed his appreciation to the officer that had helped Laura bring him the treasured letters he had yet to be able to read.

Laura self administered a couple of aspirins and grabbed some clean socks and replaced her shoes and then was guided to the driver's seat of her truck by both Mike and Captain Stanley. Once she started the ignition she rolled the window down and looked at the two firemen. "I'm still planning on tomorrow; I'll call in the morning and let you know where you can pick me up."

Mike was only able to nod his head and watch as she drove off after the police car.

"I guess things must have been pretty intense at some of those aid stations," Johnny commented, "I can't imagine reliving it through sleep walking though."

"You do it all the time," Roy informed his partner.

"Yeah Pall," Hank slapped the young paramedic on the shoulder, "We just put you back to bed."

"You're kidding, right," Johnny stood stunned.

The four men assembled just shook their head and moved to their assigned positions.

00000

At the hospital Laura parked her truck and made her way to the outpatient check in only to find the police officer who had led her there talking with the admitting nurse.

"They'll take good care of you here." The officer said as he officially turned Laura over to Miss Dixie McCall.

"Does that mean you have a straight jacket and a padded room with my name on them?" Laura questioned.

"No, I'm afraid there is a six month waiting list just to be able to make reservations in that department," Dixie smiled, "and I'm a head of you." "If you'll fill out these forms we'll see about finding you a room as soon as one opens up."

Laura sat down in a chair of the crowded emergency room waiting area and started answering the questions on the papers she had been handed. Once she was done she looked around and became aware that she wasn't the most serious of cases waiting to be treated. Walking up to the desk she handed her paperwork over to Miss McCall.

"You look like you could use some help," Laura commented.

"I'm afraid we have a shortage of nurses on tonight." Dixie smiled tiredly at her patient, grateful that she wasn't whining about the wait.

Laura pulled her wallet from her jacket pocket and pulled the snap undone allowing the strip of certification cards to drop from her hand and hang for Miss McCall to see, "I'm offering, can you use me?"

"I thought you were here as a patient?" Dixie was surprised by the offer as she noticed her patient was a registered nurse certified in emergency medicine, the paramedic license from New Mexico didn't slip her notice either.

"The sooner we get the rest of these patients taken care of the sooner you'll get to me."

Dixie looked at the surprising person in front of her for a moment then to the throngs waiting. "Do you feel you could gather vitals and initial histories on these patients?"

"Do you have a spare stethoscope and BP cuff or do I need to get mine from my truck?" Laura countered.

"I'll get you some and a lab coat," Dixie offered and stepped inside a closet to retrieve the objects needed. She watched as Laura gingerly pulled the lab coat over her left shoulder before easily slipping her right arm in its sleeve and going right to work. Over the few hours that followed three auto accidents came in and the victims of a house fire and Laura was asked to help out in one of the treatment rooms while Dr. Bracket sutured three children with lacerations.

"You must be new on staff, I don't think I've seen you before." Bracket commented as he finished up on the last and calmest of the three children.

"I'm not staff, I'm more of a draftee." Laura commented as she handed the doctor the tools he asked for.

"Where did Dix draft you from?" Bracket asked as he made his last stitch.

Laura handed him the bandage he requested then realized he was still waiting for an answer, "The waiting room."

Bracket lifted his patient down and turned him over to the orderly who led him back to his parents in the waiting room before turning back to Laura who was pulling her sterile gloves from her hands. The aspirins she had taken in the park had worn off and her temperature was rising again and the shoulder she suspected of being the problem was really starting to burn.

"I guess I should go see who's next." Laura sighed and moved toward the door only to have it open before she reached it and Dixie walk in.

"I was just coming to see who was next." Laura spoke to the nurse in the doorway.

"I believe it's your turn," Dixie produced a patient's chart handing it to Dr. Bracket. "This is Laura Elmer and she's complaining of a sore left shoulder and an elevated temperature."

"She wasn't kidding when she said you drafted her from the Waiting room." Bracket spoke in surprise as he eyed the chart that was handed to him. "It says here that you suspect shrapnel causing some infection?"

"Yeah I think so." Laura sat on the dr. stool to make the transition from medical worker to patient.

"How is it that you came to have shrapnel in your shoulder?"

"I was working the big earthquake in China about eight months ago when someone got the bright idea to use explosives to clear the ruble away so that we could get to some of the victims. I don't speak Chinese so I didn't get the message before things went boom."

"Why haven't you gotten it taken care of before now?" Bracket asked in exasperation.

"If you'd have been there you'd understand but since you weren't let's just say better late than never and let it go at that," Was Laura's reply as Dixie helped her to remove the borrowed lab coat and began to take her temperature.

00000

"Laura, Laura, can you hear me?" penetrated through the fog of anesthesia. "time to wake up now."

A few short hours later after her suspicions were confirmed Laura was waking up in the recovery room as Dr Bracket stood over her.

"Hi," Laura replied to the Nurses calling as she pried her eye's open to look at Dr. Bracket still in his scrubs his mask dangling around his neck. "What ever you did Doc it feels better."

"That's good to hear," Dr. Bracket responded, "It was fairly simple surgery, the fragments were working their way toward the surface. We suctioned out as much of the infection as we could. The Lab reports a simple staff infection I've already started you on an antibiotic that should take care of things. You're temperature broke about fifteen minutes ago."

"Thank you," Laura ran her tongue across her lips and tried to rise her head before resting it back and taking a deep breath. "How long before I can get out of here."

"You're making me think you don't like our company," Bracket scoffed.

"The company's great Doc, it's the laying around I can't stand."

"You're not planning to run off to another disaster somewhere are you?" Bracket inquired as much out of curiosity as trying to buy time to think.

"Oh, no, not for some time, I'm currently on a run and hide."

"A run and hide?"

"Yeah, you folks probably call it a leave of absence but for me the only way that happens is if I run and hide."

"I see," Bracket snickered again.

"Seriously Doc, I have some unfinished business to take care of, someone is trying to set up some appointments for in the morning. How soon can I get out of here?"

00000

Back at the station a late dinner was being thrown together while Hank sat in his office looking at the letter Laura had left for him. He had to agree they had managed to give Mike a life line but that was just the beginning. Opening up his old copy of 'Keep the Rescuers Rescuing' opening it to the table of contents and reading the chapter titles reminded him of what they were about.

Chapter 17 talked about being available and approachable to your fellow workers, being sure to let them know you're willing to listen if they want to talk. This chapter was nearly completely highlighted it was full of ways to let his men know he was willing to listen and that talking would help.

Chapter 18 focused on watching for signs and behaviors that indicated they needed to talk weather they wanted to or not. It also briefly touched on the topic of deciding when to pull them away from the action for time to regroup.

Chapter 19 was titled the 'crowbars of conversation', and gave several tips to get a person to open up even thought they were reluctant.

Chapter 20 was about giving hope, Make sure that you tell them, and tell them and tell them again, that no matter how bad they think things are they will get better, anything can be worked though and worked out, Hank read the highlighted sections again. Hank had to admit that his last conversation with Mike had gotten away from that hope but now he could feel it and he was sure Mike could feel some hope of finding the closure he so needed.

Hank picked up the paperback copy of 'never to strong to crumble,' and proceeded to smooth the pages out with the heal of his hand in an effort to soften up the spine before turning to chapter 38 , the releasing, Hank read about the emotional let down when the tension is finally relieved. Grabbing his highlighter he immediately started marking up the page and with a pen added notes in the margins. By the time he was through with that chapter he better understood why Laura had recommended Mike have some time off and completely agreed. He also thought he understood what Miss Elmer must go through after each major disaster she works and knew she would be able to help Mike through his let down.

He had just turned to Chapter 41 and read the title, 'the positive and negative affects of Teddy bears,' then the call, "Dinner's ready," Rang through the station and Hank hurried to the common room. When he arrived he could see Mike sitting on the sofa shaking the sleep from his mind as the station's lazy basset hound lounged across his lap.

Hank was just about to tackle his desert when the phone rang; answering it he was surprised to be talking to someone from headquarters after regular business hours. He talked for a while and took a few notes then hung up and turned to his engineer.

"Mike, could I see you in the office for a few minutes." It wasn't a question even thought he made it sound like one.

"That was Headquarters," Captain Stanley told Mike as soon as he sat down.

"This late?" Mike questioned.

"Yeah, my request today has had them working overtime in the archives."

"Did they find the information Laura told us about?"

"They think so," Hank informed then leaned back in his chair hoping a more relaxed position would help relax his man. "The information they have shows the third person in the whole as a Mitchel Striker but the person I just talked to has looked at the original signature and thinks it can just as easily be Michael Stoker."

"Dad didn't have the most legible signature," Mike looked hopeful, "That's probably why we haven't been able to get any information on him."

"They're asking that you wait till after 1 p.m. before you come to the office tomorrow so they can confirm their information and pull the rest of the records from that incident."

"Okay, I can do that,"

"Also, I'm putting you on personal leave next shift." Hank held his breath hoping his engineer didn't fight him on this because if Mike did he would have no real choice but to make it so that he was required to see the department physiatrist before he could come back and Hank still had hope that Miss Elmer could meet Mike's needs. "I believe you need some time to sort through all of this information you're going to get."

Mike sat silently but his shoulders slumped and his lips quivered, finally he raised his hand to his mouth in an attempt to hide his emotions and nod his head, "okay,"

With the hard part done Hank reached out and took hold of his engineer's shoulder and gave a slight squeeze and shake. "You okay Mike?"

There wasn't an immediate answer as Mike fought to control his emotions his eyes growing moist, He finally took a deep breath, "I will be,"

"If you want to talk my door is always open," Hank repeated the line he had said too many times to count. "I think we're finally going to get some information for you."

"I was beginning to think we weren't going to find anything," Mike sobbed slightly, his voice catching, "until today I just couldn't figure out why he was even there. I sometimes wondered if, if he, was a, cheating on my mom."

"Oh Mike," Hank sighed not having realized that thought had ever crossed the man's mind but understanding how disturbing it would be."

Hank and Mike sat silently for a while as Mike regained his composure Hank just rubbed his shoulder. When Mike was ready to leave Hank suggested that he go a head and hit the sack telling him the rest of the group would be along soon.

Mike just solemnly nod his head and slowly walked out of the office and toward the dorm.

As Mike stepped out of sight behind the engine Hank grabbed for his new book and opened it up to the chapter about Teddy Bears. It was one of the longest chapters in the book but once it was read Hank had a greater appreciation for his Wife and children but was at a loss as to how it applied to his Engineer. Leaning back to think Hank got an idea and headed for the common room.

Gently hefting Henry the station Mascot on to his shoulder Hank was carrying him from the room.

"Where are you going with Henry?" John asked in total confusion.

"I have a job for him to do." Hank gave as his only explanation.

"Henry?" Chet exclaimed in total surprise and although the others didn't say anything you could see the same surprise in their faces.

Later as the crew trickled off to bed they all noticed and silently snickered at the sleeping engineer with a dog tucked under one arm like a teddy bear.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

**Squad 51, difficulty breathing, 2198 West More, Apartment 4 C, 2198 West More Apartment 4C, time out 3:41**

When any one gets called out in the middle of the night everyone gets woke up. Because of the social conditions often presenting themselves late at night the engine is often dispatched along with the squad but not this time. Still the not currently needed Engineer was awaken along with the others and like the others he had his covers thrown to the side, his turn outs on, his suspenders over his shoulders and was half way to the engine before it registered that he wasn't going to be going anywhere.

Leaning against the engine for just a moment to calm his heart rate Mike then made his way back to his bed. After slipping his turnouts off and placing them in the ready position he pulled his feet into bed and pulled the covers back over his body then felt a nose and paw placed on his chest.

"What are you doing in my bed?" Mike talked to the dog not really expecting an answer.

"Cap did it not me," Chet defended himself before he was accused.

Mike lifted his head and gave his captain, who had just pulled his boots and turn outs off in preparation of going back to bed himself, a puzzling look.

"I thought it might help you sleep better," Captain Stanley shrugged, "I'll but him back on the sofa if you want me to."

"Just push him on the floor if he's taking up too much room," Chet countered, "He doesn't need to be carried around."

Just then Henry snuggled in closer nuzzling Mike's shoulder and breathing softly on his neck. Absent mindedly he reached over with his hand and started toying with the dog's soft, floppy ears, "No, s'kay." Mike settled in and drifted off to sleep dreaming of the little dachshund hound that was his first boy hood pet. Until the alarm sounded again two hours later Mike dreamed of being small and playing catch with his father as his little wiener dog, Frankfurter, chased after all the balls he missed. The times his father flew him around the yard with a towel pined around his neck while Frankfurter wore a washcloth pinned around his collar. But most of all the times he just lay on his bed before falling asleep at night with his dog there beside him.

He was sleeping soundly enough that he didn't hear the squad return and when the alarm sounded calling them to an accident with injuries Henry gave him a big wet kiss to help him get moving.

Hank watched his engineer closely during the response being aware of his slower than normal response to the alarm. The accident was far from being the worst they'd had to work on but Mike did his part well. The wake up tones sounded while they were returning to the station and that meant no one was going back to bed.

As the crew gathered in the common room in their fresh uniforms to partake of the fresh coffee Hank noticed that the station mascot had yet to return to his usual perch on the sofa and slipped in to the dorm for find that he had truly made himself comfortable in Mike's bunk.

"Good boy," Hank patted the dog on his head before lifting him down onto the floor. "You just might earn your keep around here in ways I've never thought of before." Hank returned to the office pausing to hold the door to the dorm open for Henry to slowly waddle through showing his objection to being made to walk all the way back to the common room. "You poor picked on Pooch," Hank mumbled as he stepped around the slow moving obstacle and made his way to the office to finish his end of shift paperwork.

Hank had just hung up with Headquarters when Laura's call came in.

"How's our boy?" Laura asked after the official phone response.

"He seems to be following the steps laid out in your book as if he'd actually read it," Hank answered. "He slept better last night than he has in a while."

"That's good," Laura sighed, her voice surprisingly void of any emotion.

"Headquarters has called to let us know that they've found at least some of the information you told us about and I've convinced him to take the next shift off to sort everything out," Hank reported.

"I guess I better check in with him then and see if he still wants me to go with him or not," Laura responded.

"I'll get him for you." Hank then stepped into the bay and called to the first man he saw. "John, would you please tell Mike he has a phone call, It's Miss Elmer."

Before John could even step into the common room Mike came running having heard that the phone call he was waiting for had come in.

Before Hank handed the phone over he held his hand over the receiver, "Before you talk to Miss Elmer you should know that headquarters just called and you'll be meeting with Chief Jenner this afternoon."

"So you're saying I should wear my dress uniform?" Mike questioned.

"I'd recommend it."

Mike nod his head to show that he understood and Hank handed him the phone and then politely left the room.

"Hello, this is Mike Stoker"

"Hi, do you still want me to go to the fire department headquarters with you?"

"Yes, Please, I mean if you can," Mike stammered slightly and then he heard in the back ground, "Dr. Bracket please report to emergency, Dr. Bracket please report to emergency."

"Are you at the hospital now? I thought you were going to go in last night." Mike felt confused and panicked he really felt like he needed Laura with him if he were going to get any information at all.

"I did come last night and I'm still here but they are getting ready to kick me out as soon as the doctor finishes his rounds," Laura lied. She could hear the panic in his voice and felt a responsibility to do something to ease it. She also could feel the walls closing in on her and wanted out. Every page she heard overhead, every code blue that was called was driving her crazy. Twice she had tried to respond but didn't know her way around the hospital well enough to be able to get where the help was being called for. Besides the doctor hadn't said she couldn't go, he had just said he would discuss it with her in the morning. She was sure she could convince him to let her go, if not, she'd go anyway.

"The captain said they found some information for you, do we have an appointment?" Laura confirmed she was planning to attend as subtly as she could.

"Yes, 13:00 hours, I thought we could go out for lunch before hand, If you're up to it?" Mike's voice was hesitant and Laura picked up on it. This wasn't her first time of dealing with a rescue worker in stress.

"Sure, what time are you going to pick me up?"

"I'll be off duty in a little over an hour then I need to go home and put my dress uniform on," Mike explained, "We'll be meeting with the head Chief."

"OOWW, the Head, Head Chief?" Laura's voice showed her first bit of emotion.

"Yeah, the big wig himself," Mike confirmed. "You're okay with that aren't you?"

"Those big wigs don't scare me none." Laura swatted at the air with her hand, "It's not like my job is on the line if my button's loose or my shoe lace breaks."

"I guess your right, so can I pick you up around eleven?"

"Sure, I'll be here at the hospital ready and waiting." Laura looked up to See Dixie McCall coming through her door. "I've got to go now but I'll be ready at eleven." Laura ended the call.

"So Dr. Bracket has released you, I thought he was waiting for lab results?" Dixie questioned.

"He will," Laura spoke positively, "Or you'll have to clear out one of your padded cells and find a straight jacket." "Are those my release papers?" Laura made notice of the papers in Dixie's hands.

"NO," Dix said a little too carefully for Laura's comfort.

"They're not my commitment papers are they?"

"No," Dix laughed. "It's an application for employment here. I was hoping I could persuade you to join us here at Rampart."

Laura rested back against the pillow and looked at the Head nurse of ER in surprise. "Just like that? You really don't know anything about me."

"I've checked your credentials; you've got quite an impressive resume." Dixie pulled a chair up and sat down.

"I haven't even written a resume," Laura countered then studied the nurse's face closely. "Who have you been talking to?"

"A military friend of mine," Dix answered, "Someone who worked along side of you at both the Indonesia and the China earthquakes,"

"Maggie Shuartz?" Laura guessed.

"The one and the same." Dix smiled. "She says you really know how to handle yourself when the world is going to pieces around you."

"Did she tell you I'm a frequent passenger on the banana boat to the funny farm?" Laura still acted skeptical.

"She said you were very passionate about your work and the patients you care for, that does come as part of the package especially when you go weeks at a time on only a couple of hours of sleep. She also said you were the one who knew how to pull everyone else together." Dixie revealed she had truly spoken to her friend. "We would make sure you keep your overtime to a minimum around here. Budget restraints and all."

"Yea well sometimes sleeping is more exhausting than running a marathon," Laura showed a flaw in her armor. "If you know Maggie you must have been in the Military yourself."

"A MASH unit during the Korean war, and I know what you mean," Dixie countered.

"Yeah, I guess you would understand then wouldn't you, At least I didn't have to deal with people trying to kill each other." Laura pulled her knees up in bed and relaxed her stance.

"I'm real flattered at the offer but I'm going to have to give it some thought." Laura responded to the papers in Dixie's hand.

"That's fair enough." Dix smiled, "Now is there someone I can call to bring you some clean clothes?"

"A, No, there's no one since my brother died, I have clean clothes in my camper, I'll just have to slip out there and get them."

"I can get them for you, would you like a pair of sweats?" Dixie offered.

"NO you better bring in the dark blue pants suit I guess I have an appointment with the great High almighty of the County fire Department this afternoon."

"Are they our competition for your services?" Dixie looked both worried and confused.

"NO, just some unfinished business," Laura looked the head nurse over, "And don't worry by the time I get through with them they won't want anything to do with me. You might be wise to reconsider."

"Not happenin, I saw you work last night, you're a keeper." Dixie called as she left the room.

When Dixie returned with the two dark suits that were found in Laura's camper, one being a Civil Air Patrol dress uniform with Captain's bars on the lapels, along with the unmentionables to go with them. As she approached the door to Laura's room she was stopped by the sound of Dr. Bracket talking with his patient.

"The lab work agrees with me that you're working yourself into the ground."

"That's why I'm on a run and hide Doc."

"But you worked in the emergency department just last night when you were quite sick I might add." Brackett countered.

"I was just trying to hurry the ones ahead of me doc. One of these days I'm going to offer to help and they tell me they don't need me but until they do I just can't sit still when there's something I can do to help. But trust me, as soon as I get out of here I'm not going any where near another hospital of disaster, Their going to have to come to me." Laura tried to convince her doctor he had nothing to worry about.

"Can you explain to me why you waited so long to get your shoulder taken care of after you returned from China?" Bracket showed he wasn't convinced.

"I was scheduled for surgery once but there was this tornado that went through and all elective surgeries were canceled and before I was rescheduled they were begging me to go to Baja to work that hurricane there and then I was dropped off at the apartment explosions here in LA county before I was put on a plane and sent to Washington DC to talk to them about some bill they wanted me to support. That's when I got word that my brother had accidently shot our father in the head while they were hunting. I had to make the call to take him off life support but my brother never forgave himself. He made four attempts at suicide over the next five months and I just couldn't leave him alone."

"I see," Bracket began to understand, "I assume that you've been able to get your brother the help he needs or you wouldn't be here now?"

Laura chewed on her tongue for a moment then turned a moist eye to her doctor. "His fourth attempt was successful."

"I'm sorry to hear that, sadly there are times when nothing we do is enough I hope you don't blame yourself."

"I'm working on it." Laura admitted.

"According to the Nurses charts from last night you didn't sleep well and you refused the prescribed pain med and sedatives."

"This is one of those times when I need to make sure I stay in control and totally sober at all times. When I'm digging out like this I can get very scary when I'm on drugs."

Through the partially open door Dixie watched Dr. Brackett sit on the foot of Laura's hospital bed and hold the chart in his lap.

"When you say digging out are you talking about depression?"

"That's part of it," Laura admitted pulling her knees up to her chest and draping her good arm across the top of them. "It goes deeper than that though. It's more of a rescue workers fatigue."

"Are we talking nightmares?" Bracket questioned.

"Some beauts." Laura admitted but then saw where the conversation was going. "But I'm not taking any anti-depressants; I've never planned more ways to off myself than I did when I was on those things."

"So you do have suicidal tendencies?" Brackett pressed harder.

"Not as long as I stay completely sober and in control." Laura spoke with emphasis and determination.

"You can get yourself into trouble by not getting quality sleep too you know." Brackett cautioned.

"The nightmares will pass, they always do. I've dug myself out before I'm sure I can do it again, I just need some time."

"We do have a very fine out patient psychiatrics department here at Rampart. Perhaps we can be of some help."

Laura studied her doctor for a moment tilting her head as she did so. "You're not telling me expert heal thy self. What a novel approach."

"I wasn't aware that you were an expert in this subject."

"I'm not really. I've just written a couple of books and given a hand full of lectures that's all. But it's a field that isn't getting adequate attention in the medical field these days."

"I'm afraid you're right, I've been reading a few papers on the subject."

"If I didn't write 'em I'd like to read 'em," Laura gave her doctor a smile. "Just to see if I agree with what they have to say."

"I can't keep you against your will but I would like you to come back in a week and have the stitches removed and sooner if the infection doesn't completely clear up with the anti-biotic. And I'm going to give you a prescription for pain just incase, once you get moving around I think you're going to find that the pain increases."

"I can agree to that." Laura conceded. But then she would have agreed to anything if it would get her out of that room, something both Dr. Brackett and Dixie suspected by her tone.

As Doctor Bracket left Laura's room he and Dixie shared a knowing glance that comes from their years of working together. Dixie waited a short amount of time and then entered and began to help Laura get showered and dressed. She didn't want to wear the uniform just the suit it fit better with her run and hide attitude.

When Mike Stoker arrived to pick her up Dixie was helping her adjust a sling to support her shoulder.

"Wow, don't you look sharp." Laura commented on the fireman in his dress uniform.

"You look sharp to," Mike commented on Laura's suit, "Are you sure you're up to this."

"We're going to have a meeting in an office right, not on the obstacle course." Laura gave as an answer.

"Yeah," Mike smiled and gave a slight sigh of relief.

"I'm sure I can handle it."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"I'll be right back," Dixie said when she had finished with Laura's sling and stepped into the hall way.

"Quick, let's get out of here before she comes back with a wheelchair," Laura said as she grabbed the bag with her soiled clothes with her good hand and made a move for the door. Mike gave a smile and pulled the door open for her only to see Dixie standing there with a wheelchair.

"You must really like pushing people around," Laura joked with the head nurse from the Emergency Department.

"Absolutely," Dixie grinned back and Laura reluctantly climbed in the wheelchair as Mike fought to keep from laughing.

Because he was planning on picking up a patient Mike had already parked in the pick up zone so as they exited the elevator Mike excused himself and hurried ahead to pull his truck up to the door. Once Laura was safely tucked into the passenger seat of his truck Mike returned to the driver's seat and looked at Laura. "Do you have a preference as to where we go for lunch?"

"No, just drive."

Mike did as he was told and as soon as he pulled on to the road and saw Laura relax he let out a sigh and a smile. "You like that place about as well as a lot of other people I know."

"I don't imagine there's too many people that enjoy being a patient in a place like that." Laura answered enjoying her companion's smile. She also noticed that he looked much more rested than he had when she first met him at the station but there was still the look of longing and loss in his eyes. She was also sure that his obvious nerves weren't all focused toward the meeting at 13:00 hours.

At a quiet little restaurant the two of them sat waiting for their order when Laura pulled a bottle of pills from her pocket and using her hand that was in the sling to open it she dumped two pills in her hand. "Anti-biotic" she said as she tossed them in her mouth and washed them down with the water at the table.

"I know it's really none of my business but do you mind if I ask what you did to your shoulder?" Mike asked fiddling with his silverware as he spoke.

"I picked up some debris and shrapnel in it on one of my escapades and wasn't able to get it taken care of at the time. I've kept putting off getting it taken care of since I got back and it managed to develop an infection."

"So that's why you were running a feve--- You had surgery last night!" Mike nearly screamed as he put all the pieces together. "Are you sure your alright, I mean you didn't check out of the hospital against the doctors advice just because of this meeting did you?"

"Of course not, if you hadn't have wanted me to go with you I still would have gotten out of there. They were only going to keep me a few more hours is all just to make sure I was safe to drive. Since you're doing the driving I'm just fine."

Mike studied the girls face in an attempt to determine if she were telling him the truth and as hard as he looked he didn't have a clue. "You're sure you're alright?"

"Positive,"

Lunch was quiet and neither person ate much but Mike soon looked at his watch and declared they had better be on their way because he didn't want to be late.

Once they were on their way Laura asked permission to listen to the radio and when Mike nodded yes she started pushing the station buttons on his dashboard.

"None of these are set," Laura commented and Mike noticed her eyeing him in what he thought was a strange manner out of the corner of his eye. "Don't you listen to the radio?"

"I just haven't reprogrammed them since I pulled the battery cables to do some maintenance on the engine," Mike commented.

"Oh yeah, how long ago was that?"

"I don't know, a couple of months."

"A couple as in two, or has it been longer than that?" Laura was still studying him and making him nervous.

"It was just after my dad's funeral." Mike admitted grudgingly.

For a moment there was only silence in the truck, then Mike turned to Laura before turning his attention back to the road. "Did Cap ask you to psycho analyze me?"

"Nope," Laura answered quickly. Mike then made several quick glances at her trying to decide if he believed her. "He didn't have to."

Mike stopped at a yellow light even thought he could have easily gotten through the intersection and turned to look at Laura, "What do you mean by that?"

Laura smiled but didn't answer right a way. Once the car behind them started honking forcing them to move she spoke, "One of the things I do at an aid station is watch my fellow aid workers and rescue workers for signs that things are getting to them. I've learned that if I can recognize it soon enough and take steps to relieve the stress and get them to open up I don't wined up short handed in a crisis."

Mike glanced back at Laura again as he drove and Laura thought she saw either anger or betrayal in his eyes so she continued. "When the two of us were sitting on the running board of that fire engine of yours yesterday you were really close to just shutting down all together. Had I call came in right then you would have had to go on automatic pilot to respond to it. Right,"

"Is this going to show up in my service record?" Mike angrily screamed at his guest.

"Not unless you put it there." Laura had a smile that irritated Mike even more. He remained silent but started to drive a little faster than the speed limit. Soon they were at the headquarters building and even found a parking spot close to the front door. Their appointment wasn't for twenty minutes; they could remain in the car or go in and sit in the waiting room.

"I don't need a shrink," Mike turned and yelled as his passenger. Laura smiled, infuriating him even more as she silently unbuckled her seat belt and turned placing her knee on the bench seat and her back against the door leaning toward the dash slightly to keep from bumping her shoulder on the seat.

"I think your right," She finally said, "You don't need a shrink, not yet anyway. But you will if you keep going that way you have been. From what I saw at the station yesterday I'm not the only one that's noticed. I dare bet every person there has asked you if you want to talk at least once. And if your captain is half as good as I think he is, a whole lot more than that."

Mike didn't say a word but tightened his grip on the steering wheel in front of him till his knuckles turned white as he grinded his teeth.

"For the record, I'm not a shrink, I'm a rescue worker just like you, I've been in charge of other rescue workers and I've learned to recognize when they need some intervention so that they can stay on their game." "Yesterday at the station you talked about rescue workers treating people like sides of beef. Right now I don't think you would be emotionally able to do any better and if anything really major would have happened while you're on a call the rest of the crew may have to cover for you because your auto pilot isn't programmed for that situation and that's the only part of you that's working right now."

Mike still didn't say a word but his knuckles weren't as white and his hands were moving back and forth on the steering wheel. Laura was sure he was listening and thinking about what she was saying so she continued. "If I'm reading you right you're still blaming yourself for what happened to your father and you're seriously thinking about quitting the fire department the only thing stopping you is that you don't know what else you'd do."

Mike turned away and remained quiet. Then finally a moment later, "Maybe, you're right." "All I've been able to think about since you left yesterday was that you were there and I should have been."

"So are you saying that you were called out on that rescue and refused to respond?" Laura goaded him.

"NO, of course not, that's not even in my response area." Mike countered turning to see the grin on Laura's face telling him he needed to think about what he was saying.

"There's a reason you're not the only engineer in the world Mike, Superman in fiction, you're only human. You can't be everywhere and you can't save everyone."

Mike was quiet again and Laura could tell he was processing what she had said so she let the silence linger.

"So have you learned how to keep from blaming yourself when things don't work out?" Mike finally broke the silence.

"No, not even close, I can tell you that it's a whole lot easier to see the warning signs in others than it is to see them in myself. I've dug myself into the pit of burn out just like your doing nearly every disaster I've worked, but I've also dug myself back out again enough times that I have confidence that I can do it again. Maybe, just maybe, if you'll let me, I can show you how to dig yourself out too."

Mike sniffled a little and bit his tongue before nodding his head. "SO where do I start?"

Laura glanced at her watch and notice that it was time to go inside. "Let's start by getting the answers you need and then you need to program your buttons."

"My buttons?"

"Yeah, to your truck radio."

"What do I need to program them to?"

"Don't ask me, I don't know what music you like to listen to."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

When Mike walked around the truck and opened the door for Laura the first thing he noticed was that she had taken off her sling. "Shouldn't you be wearing that?" He asked as she tucked it in her purse.

"I'll be fine, I really don't want to be the center of attention here." she assured as she jumped down from the truck and gave him a smile that was just about to drive him crazy. "Are you ready for this?"

"I've been ready for this since they told me my father passed away," Mike answered.

Once inside Mike checked in with the receptionist and the two were directed to a room at the end of the hall, inside was a medium sized round conference table and another long table pushed against the wall that was covered with fire safety literature. While they waited for someone to join them the two silently paced around as Laura busied herself glancing at all the literature picking up a 19 page coloring book and rolling it up in her hands as she turned her attention to the posters on the wall.

When Chief Jenner entered the room followed by two other men Mike jumped to an immediate attention. Laura just casually turned to face the man and her first impressions weren't all that impressive. Once the introductions and the pleasantries were out of the way they were all invited to sit down and the meeting began.

"Now that we have the name confusion straitened out I can tell you that your father was called in because that apartment building was one that he had helped design in her early days as a structural engineer and we needed the blue prints to be able to know how to brace the structure while we were performing our extrications. However over the years there had been a lot of changes made to the building and the blue prints didn't do us a whole lot of good. Every wall had to be evaluated on its own merit and examined. According to the project manager in charge of that operation Michael Stoker Sr. was very instrumental in getting to and saving the lives of all thirty eight people pulled from that explosion," Chief Jenner nearly lectured.

"What was the cause of the explosion?" Mike asked and Laura was clearly stunned that he didn't already know.

"There had been a new gas heater installed and the landlord cut a few too many corners leading to a gas leak which was set off by the pilot light of the near by water heater."

"SO it wasn't an act of terrorism?" Laura spoke with some relief as she watched Mike let out a silent sigh.

"No, Just some landlord trying to save a penny."

Over the next two hours the three men from the department produced several documents and photos beginning with copies of News footage of the rescue taken over the three days showing Mike's father in action many times before showing the three girls being carried from the rubble and then the three rescuers falling through the floor as the building collapsed on top of them.

"Wow," Laura commented as that footage was shown, "NO wonder it took them so long to get to us."

"Us?" Chief Jenner questioned.

"Yea," Laura responded, "the one on the right with the medical bag over the shoulder. That's me."

"I'm sorry I didn't realize you were there," Chief Jenner looked quite embarrassed, "I thought you were his lawyer."

Laura burst out laughing nearly spraying the Chief with her saliva. "A lawyer! That's a first."

Over the course of the meeting Laura was able to point out details in the photos that others didn't notice and able to tell Mike about what was just beyond the picture frame. They not only had a recording of the conversations taking place once communications were established with the trapped rescuers but they also had transcripts. It was watching yet another news footage that they noticed Mike's father and Randy being loaded into a medical transport bus, not an ambulance, for the ride to the hospital and they were able to jot down the name of the company that owned it. The real puzzle was that his father looked good as they loaded him in the bus. He was waving to someone who came over to him to talk before he was loaded and then reached out to the young man with his arm splinted to hold his good hand in a gesture of friendship. Mike laughed as the young fireman placed his helmet on the structural engineers head just before he was lifted into the back of the bus. The back lip on the hat making it impossible for him to lay back against the stretcher but he looked excited to be wearing it.

The question was left as to what happened enroute to the hospital but Mike knew the men in front of him wouldn't be able to answer and fearing he would break down and become emotional in front of his high commander Mike just didn't even ask.

Every time something was shown Laura was quick to ask if they could get copies and before they left the stack of papers and videos at Mike's elbow stood a good five inches high.

"WE have this commendation," Chief Jenner began to hand some formal looking papers across the table to Mike, "for your father that we---- Ouch!"

Laura had just swatted the Chief Chief, the real head honcho, up the side of the head with the rolled up coloring book she had been fiddling with since they entered the room. Mike was stunned, mortified and worried about his future with the fire department all at the same time.

"What are you doing?" Laura exclaimed climbing to her feet. "Is this a formal commendation or is it just a piece of paper that says sorry your loved one died on us?"

"I assure you ma'am this is a formal commendation showing our sincere appreciation for the work this man performed and his part in saving the lives of all those people." Jenner proclaimed in his lecture like tone.

"Then it should be formally presented to his family, which includes his widow, his daughters and his son." Laura proclaimed loudly, very loudly in fact, "Not just tossed across the table at his son like it's just another piece of paper."

Now it was Chief Jenner's turn to be embarrassed. "Yes of course, you're right." Turning to Mike, "Would it be acceptable if arrangements were made to present this at your station next time your on shift? We of course would like to invite your mother and sisters to be present to accept it."

"Sure," Mike answered still in shock, it was clear he was not responsible for his guest's actions. In fact Mike would have been happy to have just accepted the commendation but as he thought about it he knew Laura was right, in demanding that it be formally presented to his mother that is, not for hitting the High Chief up the side of the head.

"I will contact you're captain, a, Captain—

"Stanley at station fifty one," Mike filled in the information.  
"Yes, I will contact Captain Stanley and make arrangements then."

"Thank you," Mike offered and Laura just stood silently at his side having not sat back down after she yelled at the LA County's top firefighting commander.

While they prepared to leave Mike talked briefly with the three men who had supplied him with the stack of information far beyond what he had spent the last six months trying to find. Meanwhile Laura stepped up to the reception desk and asked to borrow a phone book. Quickly looking up the name of the transport company that was used to take Mike's father from the accident she scribbled down the address on a piece of paper on the desk and tucked it in her pocket before Mike joined her at the door.

Mike was very quiet as he took Laura by her good arm and hurried her toward the passenger side of his truck before helping her inside and shutting the door behind her.

"I take it from your behavior you're having second thoughts about asking me to come alone today." Laura commented once Mike was behind the wheel.

"Yes, What ever you're taking for pain that caused you to do what you did in there." Mike seethed.

"He had it coming." Laura defended herself. "And I haven't taken anything except the antibiotics."

"What do you mean he had it coming, do you know who he is?" Mike screamed.

"Yeah, the Grand High Poo ba of firefighting, and he had it coming because every ounce of information they gave you today should have been given to you before your father's funeral. The only reason they gave it to you now is because they thought I was a lawyer."

"Yeah well they couldn't read my dad's signature," Mike defended his establishment.

"Bull, pucky," Laura countered. "They knew who to contact as next of kin didn't they. We're not talking about some John doe they rescued we're talking about one of their own crew. Do you think your captain could get away with something like that?"

Mike didn't have a comeback and it didn't take him long to realize she was right and he was growing angry about it too, "No I guess not." "What was it you wrote down and stuffed in your pocket?"

"The address for the transport company," Laura produced the paper holding it in her fingers.

"How far away is it?" Mike asked realizing she wanted to go as bad as he did.

"I have no idea; I'm not from around here, remember." Laura countered in a teasing tone.

Mike snatched the paper from Laura's hand and opened it looking at the address then thinking. "It'll take us about forty-five minutes to get there."

"That works for me, but wait, before we leave here, did you find out where we can find Randy?"

"Yeah, his station is in the general area of the transport company and it just so happened he's scheduled for today."

Mike started the engine and turned to watch Laura struggling with her seat belt and holding her arm. "Do you need to get that sling back on." He tried to make it and order not a question.

"No," Laura said simply, "It's more annoying than it's worth."

Mike tried to think what his captain would do in this situation and turned the engine off again and turned toward Laura. "It's warm out would you like to take your jacket off first or do you want the sling on over the jacket?"

The two occupants of the truck stared at each other in silence for a few minutes before Laura finally answered. "I'm from New Mexico I'm used to the heat."

"Do you need some help getting the sling back on?" Mike held his ground.

"Who died and made you my Mother?"

"MY truck my rules."

"I'm not going to win this fight am I?"

Mike just shook his head negatively and Laura reluctantly pulled the sling from her purse. After she pulled the straps over her head Mike helped her get the rest of if over her arm and in the proper position. He then started the truck again and pulled out of the parking lot.

They stopped at the fire station first but they were out on a call so they moved on to the transport company. Laura was helpful when it came to ordering a copy of the paperwork but it had to be Mike that made the request and then they were told that it would be mailed to him in a week to ten days.

From the transport company they went back to the fire station and arrived just in time to see the engine backing into the bay. Parking behind the station Mike lead Laura to the station entrance and rang the door bell. When the Station Captain came to the door he was impressed to see the dress uniform and then worried. When Mike asked if they could visit with Randy Olsen the Captain only had one question. "Are you bringing bad news?"

"NO," Laura was very quick to answer. "Randy and I worked together on an apartment building that had and explosion about six months ago and we wanted to talk with him about what he remembers."

"Oh yes I remember that one, Right this way." Mike and Laura were lead into the equipment bay where the captain called. "Olsen, you have company," before leaving their side and starting to give more orders.

Randy had been working with the hose to get it straightened out and ready for the next fire. His face still bore the soot from the fire they had just returned from and his first words were to apologize for his appearance.

"You look a lot cleaner than you did the last time I saw you." Laura smiled.

"I'm sorry do we know each other?" Randy questioned as he turned his head to study Laura closer.

"Well we were briefly acquainted in a hole for about eight hours some six months ago." Laura smiled, "I was on the other side of a slab of concrete from you though so I'm not surprised you don't recognize me."

"Laura?"

"Yep, that's me."

"And I'm Mike Stoker Jr." Mike extended his hand, "the other person who was trapped with you was my Father. I was hoping we could talk about what you remember."

"That's right your dad had pictures of you and your sisters he was passing around." Randy gave Mike's hand an energetic shake but he looked nervous before turning to Laura, "What did you do to your arm?"

"Oh Nothin, I just got an old injury worked on and get to wear this thing for a couple of days." Laura tried to play down her sling and glared at Mike at the same time. Mike just smiled.

Randy seemed distracted by the work that was taking place behind the engine and Mike quickly understood. "Here, let me help you get that hose reloaded so we can talk," Mike offered as he unbuttoned his suit coat and slid it off his shoulders draping it across the bumper of the squad before going to work.

After the work was done the guests were offered a cup of coffee and guided to the common room where they all sat down in a lounge area of sofa's and chairs.

"I don't see a wedding band on that left hand," Laura commented trying to get the conversation started.

Randy looked down at his hand and hid his face, after a moment he just shrugged his shoulders. "She wasn't sure she wanted to be a fireman's wife." Randy finally explained, "Remembering what your father told us about your divorce I thought it was best to not push the issue. We still see each other but we're not ready to get married."

Mike squirmed a little, his short marriage was something he tried very hard to keep a secret, even to forget about all together, none of his current shift mates knew about it, not even his captain. He had married just after he graduated from the fire academy following a whirlwind courtship and for the first six months it was an extended honeymoon. Then one of the fires he was working on managed to generate media coverage. She knew her husband was there because she had seen him in the background and could clearly see the indentifying number on the truck behind the news announcer. As media coverage goes they ranted on about the danger to the lives of the firefighters and when Mike returned home from his shift his wife was distant and different. They tried counseling and spent a lot of time talking, Mike studied for and took his engineers exam hoping that would put her at ease. But before the results came out he was injured on an accident. Not real bad but he wasn't able to finish his shift. Not wanting to worry his wife he managed to get the Captain to let one of his shift mates drive him home and he let himself into his apartment to find his wife in bed with someone else. The marriage had lasted only 14 months.

Laura picked up on Mike's squirming and made the next move. "Randy, what happened after they pulled you and Mike Sr. out of the hole? We've seen news footage of them loading you both in a transport bus and you both looked good, how is it that Mike was pronounced DOA?"

Randy let out a deep breath and shook his head, "He had a heart attack on the way to the hospital. One minute we were joking and giving each other high fives and then he grabbed at his chest and was having trouble breathing. The nurse on the bus jumped into action and got him on oxygen but before she could get his vital signs he grabbed at his chest again and went into cardiac arrest."

"A heart attack?" Mike gasped in shock.

"We did everything we could to get him back, I even did CPR with my broken arm, but—even the doctors tried everything once we arrived, they were working in him right in the door way, but they couldn't get his heart started again."

Mike was stunned but was soon able to regain his composure if only an act of composure, he then turned to Laura to see she was more traumatized by the news than he was.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's note: I know not everyone likes this story, I even have to admit it's not my best work but I did promise a few people that I would finish it and to keep that promise I will. I hope no one feels a need to read it if they hate it so.

Chapter 10

Hank was awaken from his nap on the sofa as his son tip toed through the room to get his basketball that had been stashed there. After blinking the sleep from his mind Hank acknowledged his offspring, questioning if his homework was done before reclaiming the basketball and then turning his attention back to the book that lay open on his chest, he had been reading it when he paused to rest his eyes and dozed off.

Upon returning home from his shift he tackled his wife's rather lengthy 'honey-do' list and had managed to get the lawn mowed, the shrubs trimmed and various other yard work done before lunch. After lunch he sat down in the living room under the air conditioning with a picture of his wife's ice cold lemonade and started on his new book. The last book was so informative and enlightening, it was the first time he felt like any expert really understood him and rescue workers like him and the work they did and why they did it and the effects it had on them. He could really see his men in the pages of that book and was grateful for all the suggestions and techniques to help work with them. Once he knew who Laura was it had been easy to think of her as one of them in some sort of way.

The two chapters he had read of the new book had him convinced that the new book contained everything missing from the last book but he had no idea what she could have added to make it as thick as it was.

After reading the first several chapters he had a more complete understanding of the despair and hopelessness that often accompanied Laura's work. The last book had had pages on the subject but this book devoted the first three chapters completely to the harshness of the work.

The first chapter was titled 'If you're Lucky' and talked about the minimum response time of 48 hours to the major disasters Laura had responded to. That alone was an eye opener for Hank, their worst response times were still in the minutes, not hours, let alone days.

'If you're lucky, the book explained, you are assigned to a hospital that is full of exhausted care givers that haven't slept in two days but have some how managed to deal with everything that has been thrown at them. You just need to step in with your fresh supplies and fresh body to give them a chance to rest and regroup.'

'More likely to happen,' the second chapter talked about being assigned to an aid station were no one of training had been assigned until you got there with inadequate staff and supplies available to deal with what's waiting for you.'

'The last place you want to be,' was the third chapter that detailed vividly being in the debris fields, digging through the rubble, hoping and praying to find someone you can help, only to find again and again how you were just an hour too late and know it will happen a hundred times more before you're allowed to try and sleep.'

'But you won't be able to sleep because every time you close your eyes you will see the children you were too late for, the mother who died protecting her child whom now you don't think you're going to be able to save, the ones who are alive but in such pain you wonder if they would be better off if they weren't.'

Hank highlighted that too long sentence and stopped to rest his eyes. He now understood far too well the title of the book and what it was trying to tell him.

As he picked up the book again and turned the page he saw the next chapter was titled, 'When Your Best Isn't Enough', and questioned if he wanted to read any more. So far the book had been quite depressing.

He skimmed the chapter reading a sentence here and another there stopping when he read, 'Realize that you're only human, you can't save the world. The rest of this book is full of suggestions on how to glue yourself together and hold on by your finger nails until you've done what ever good you can do and then how to dig yourself out again once the rest of the world finds calm.

Hank highlighted that sentence too and realized that where the other book had dealt with recognizing the warning signs in others and how to help them, this book dealt with seeing the warning signs in your self and how to pull yourself up by the boot straps and keep going.

Hank turned back to the front of the book and looked over the table of contents. There were fifty two chapters in the book and he could get a basic idea what they were about by their titles. It was the title of, 'Reach out to lift someone else', that got Hank thinking and remembering.

Hadn't Laura looked totally warn out at the station? How many other warning signs was she showing that he didn't catch? Would she have been sleepwalking if she had worked through her issues? Was he wise to place his engineer and friend in her hands? He only hoped that somewhere in the book Laura wrote about reaching out for help because Hank was beginning to feel that Laura was in worse shape mentally than the friend she was trying to help.

00000

Mike returned to his apartment and noticed his answering machine was blinking. Listening to his captain's message he quickly called him back.

"Hi Mike, how did it go today?" Hank asked as soon as his wife handed him the phone.

"Great, until Laura hit Chief Jenner up the side of the head," Mike reported something he thought his captain should know about just incase there were repercussions.

"She what?"

"You heard me right," Mike was still cringing with the memory of what had happened, "She said something about being upset because they didn't give me the information a long time ago and that their excuses were flimsy because he was one of the workers there."

"Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with her on that count, but to hit the High Chief up the side of the head—"

"I think she did it because she knew there was nothing he could do about it. It's not like she works for the department."

"You have a point there." "Someone called today about handing out a commendation when you're on shift next."

"Yeah, Laura talked them into making a formal presentation with my Mom and sisters there."

"We'll look forward to having them at the station and do our best to make them feel welcomed." Hank responded, Mike did sound better than he had but Hank wasn't sure it was more than a temporary reprieve.

"Thanks Cap"

"So what's your next move? Is there anything I can do to help?" Hank offered.

"Since you've given me a shift off, I'm going to go home for a couple of days. Take Laura to meet my Mom," Mike informed his captain.

"Oh," Hank replied and realized his surprise was in his voice when Mike responded.

"It's not like that," "It's just that My Mom and sisters need to know what happened too and Laura has agreed to go with me and tell them what she knows."

"Well let me know if there's anything I can do to help, and if you need someone to talk to, I'm just a phone call away, night or day."

"Thanks Cap, I need to go and get some things packed so I can pick Laura up when I told her I would."

00000

Back in Mike's truck the sun had gone down and Laura was resting her head against the door frame as she cradled her left elbow with her right hand. Mike glanced over at his passenger as often as was safe for a driver. Her eyes were open but she was in a daze of some kind.

"Are you alright?" Mike asked but received no response. "Laura?" Mike reached over and touched her hand that was holding her elbow. "Laura?"

"Yeah, sorry, you talkin to me?"

"That shoulder must really be hurting,"

"It's not bad, feels a lot better than it did yesterday."

"Did the doctor give you something for the pain?" Mike questioned while thinking what he had to offer her to wash it down with.

"Yea, I don't need it though, I'm fine." Laura sat up straighter and turned her attention to her chauffeur, "How are you feeling now? You've had a lot of information thrown at you today."

"Yeah I have," Mike responded feeling like he was being psycho analyzed again, "I think I saw those news shots before but I never realized my dad was in them until you pointed him out."

"Yeah, well that's perfectly understandable." Laura shifted in an attempt to get comfortable. "it's not like they were close up shots."

"yeah your right," Mike decided to take a chance, "I'm not sure how I feel right now, it's like I need some time to think about everything that I've learned. It feels great to think of my Dad as a hero, but then he always was to me."

"Yeah, most kids think of their parents as heroes especially their dads. Yours truly was." Laura smiled a warm thoughtful smile that told Mike she must be thinking about her own father. "I'm sure you know now that there's nothing you could have done to change things."

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Mike thought, he could picture in his memory John and Roy fighting to save a heart attack victim. He had a pretty good idea what was done for his father. Even Roy and Johnny lost them once in a while. As he thought about it he had a great admiration for the young firefighter who performed CPR with a broken arm, He knew he would have had to use the broken arm for balance only putting all his weight and force on the good arm but still it had to hurt a whole heaping lot.

"What does your father do?" Mike tried to make pleasant conversation and change the subject away from himself, realizing he really knew very little about his guest.

"He was a forest Ranger," Laura spoke with a gaze fixed on the dashboard. "He died as a result of a hunting accident just a, about a week after your dad died."

"I'm sorry,"

"It's not your fault," Laura answered with a watery smile in his direction. "In my case it would have been better if I didn't know all the details."

"How's that?" Mike felt genuinely confused.

"My brother was clowning around with a loaded rifle when it went off," Laura answered.

"Oh man! That must have been hard to take," Mike looked at his passenger and could see that she was starting to tear up. He knew he could repay her at least some by listening.

"How's your brother handling things?"

"Not good, I spent the next five months trying to keep him from killing himself." Laura answered then pulled her heals up onto the seat and rested her head on her knees in a fetal position as Mike drove along. "Just one more thing I've failed at."

The rest of the trip was silent as Mike didn't know what to say and Laura wasn't making conversation. It wasn't hard to understand her pain and anguish though.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When Mike pulled off to the side of the road and parked he could tell before he turned off the ignition that his sisters were home by the cars in the driveway, and everyone was waiting for him by all the lights on in the house.

Seeing his mother standing in the doorway Mike quickly got out and threw the shoulder strap of Laura's duffle bag over his shoulder before grabbing his suitcase and hurrying around to help Laura from the passenger side.

"I can carry my bag," Laura protested pulling at the strap over Mike's shoulder.

"and get lectured from my Mom about being a proper gentleman, no way," Mike countered before motioning Laura toward the door that was being held open for them.

Mike followed Laura through the door and quickly set the bags down behind the couch before bending over to give his mother a hug.

"Mom this is Laura Elmer," Mike introduced, "Laura this is my mom."

"My son has told me all about you," Mrs. Stoker greeted as she reached out and took Laura's hand not in the sling.

"Well if it was all good then he lied," Laura countered, "It's nice to meet you Mrs. Stoker, Your husband told me a lot about you."

A young woman in her late teens entered the room followed by another girl in her mid twenties, being very large with child, waddling along with her husband behind her holding her up.

"This must be the girls," Laura greeted, "No, don't tell me, let me guess, Sarah, and the pregnant one is Mellissa."

"That's right," Mellissa answered.

"I see your still hanging in there." Mike said to his sister as he reached around her stomach to give her a hug before shaking hands with her husband.

"When are you due?" Laura asked,

"Four days ago," Mellissa answered rubbing her stomach.

"Yeah, well those kids come when they want, not when we want," Laura jibbed.

"We thought last night was going to be the night but then the contractions stopped as soon as we got to the hospital." Marty, Mellissa's husband, informed.

"That was the third time that's happened," Mellissa added.

"What's your doctor saying?" Laura asked.

"He says that it should be any time now but if it isn't born before next Monday he'll induce labor," Mellissa answered as her husband helped her into a nearby arm chair before sitting on the arm of it with his arm around her.

Laura tilted her head and closed one eye as she looked at the miserable lady in waiting. "I'm just guessing but I don't think you'll last till Monday."

"Have you ever delivered any babies," Marty wanted to know as Mike guided Laura to the sofa and his mother next to her.

"A few," Laura answered, "twenty four over two days once, including three sets of twins."

While Laura chatted with his siblings Mike slipped into the kitchen for a glass of milk which he brought to Laura. "Do you need some help getting the pill bottle open?" Mike asked as he held the glass of milk out for her.

Laura looked at Mike laughing and shaking her head before pulling her antibiotics from her pocket and dumping two in her hand. After popping them in her mouth she took the milk from Mike and drank half the glass.

"Is it true that you were with my husband when he died?" Mike's mother asked.

"Before actually," Laura answered, "I wasn't there when he actually passed away."

With that question asked Mike slipped out to his truck and returned with the box full of information he had gathered at Headquarters and the little group stayed up talking and looking at videos until after three a.m. in the morning. When Mellissa fell asleep in her chair Mike's Mom thought it best to get everyone in a bed.

"I thought I'd put you in Mike's old room," Mrs. Stoker spoke to Laura, "And Mike can sleep on the sofa in the den."

"I have a better Idea," Laura countered. "Let's let Mike sleep in his old room, I think it would be better for him to be in familiar surroundings and I'll sleep on the sofa, it's more like what I'm used to any way."

"Oh but, you're our guest," Mrs. Stoker protested.

"Trust me," Laura stood her ground in the most assuring way possible, "It will be better this way. I'm a very noisy sleeper and will keep the rest of you awake if I'm not on the other side of the house."

After helping his brother-in-law pull his pregnant sister to her feet Mike carried Laura's bag to the den where a bed had already been made up.

"Can I get you anything, a glass of water or another pillow for your shoulder," Mike asked fussing a little over his guest's comfort.

"No, I'll be just fine," Laura assured, "You get some sleep it's been a long day."

Mike then headed for his childhood room running into his mother in the hall way. "Is she settled in?"

"I think so," Mike answered with a backward glance, "I don't think she likes being fussed over."

"She seems real nice," Mom talked in a whisper and Mike was sure what was coming next. "I bet she wouldn't mind being married to a firefighter."

"Mom, I just met her," Mike gave his mother a stern look before they both smiled and went their separate ways.

Mike's old room was full of memories as he stripped down to his underwear and draped his jeans across the foot board of the twin bed. The light from the streetlamp was all he needed to see the three model fire engines on the top of the book case in the corner. His father had helped him put two of those together. He had commented when they were working on the biggest of them that it had so many parts that the engine should actually run once they got it together.

The shelves under them were filled with the Hardy boys and Sherlock Holmes books that his father would read to him at bed time even long after he could read himself. His sisters had the Nancy Drew and Little house on the Prairie sets in their room.

Mike rest his head back on his pillow and studied the shadows on the ceiling as he remembered the times when his sisters would join him for story time. Since there were two of them and only one of him they usually out voted him for the choice of story. As the shadows of the leaves from the outside trees danced across the ceiling Mike could hear his father's voice once again as his mind raced to try and solve the mystery before the solution was reveled in the book.

Hours later Mike awoke from his pleasant dreams, not sure why but aware that he had been breathing through his mouth and needed a glass of water. Pulling his pants on he quietly wandered to the kitchen for a drink and leaned on the counter in thought as he toyed with the half empty glass in his hands. From the den he could hear a muffled voice that called his attention.

"one,,, two,,, three,,, four,,, five,,, breath, one,,, two,,, three,,, four,,, five,,, breath, clear, no, hit him again. one,,, two,,, three,,, four,,, five,,, breath," Mike recognized the mantra of CPR and moved toward the den with haste not sure what to expect. "No, NO, we can't give up, hit him again. 400 watts," Laura called out as he silently opened the door, "we can't quit, we have to keep going, can't give up yet. We can't quit." Mike could see Laura in the grips of an active dream as she tossed and jerked on the sofa. He paused only a moment to wander if she was dreaming about his father or hers before he went behind the sofa and reached over the back to give Laura's good shoulder a gentle shake.

Laura woke with a start grabbing her shoulder in pain with the sudden movement. As Mike stood by she looked around and realizing where she was slowed her breathing before turning to Mike and to instant embarrassment.

"I'm sorry; I thought for sure I'd be able to keep from waking anyone if I stayed at this end of the house." Laura apologized as she painfully forced herself into a seated position holding her left arm with her right.

"You didn't wake me, I was getting a drink of water," Mike was quick to respond, he had been there, he knew how embarrassing it was to wake someone else up with their nightmares. "That shoulder must really be hurting; I'll go get you some water so you can take your pain pills."

"No that's okay," Laura protested, "I really don't handle pain pills very well, I'm better off just gutting it out, really."

Mike sat on the back of the sofa looking at his guest and feeling like he had to do something when he had an idea. "My mom has some ice packs in the freezer; I'll go get a couple of those for you."

Mike returned quickly with the ice packs and a glass of water and proceeded to try and help his guest get comfortable and place the ice in a way that it would stay where it was placed with out having to be held and still be in the area it was needed.

"I'll be okay now, you should get some sleep it will be morning soon." Reluctantly but obediently Mike left the den but remained outside the door listening for any sign of distress before he went back to his room.

He did lightly sleep his dreams again filled with pleasant memories until the first rays of sunlight came through the window. He may be able to sleep later in the day but his internal alarm clock was now going off and it was time to get up and out of bed.

It didn't take him long to realize that he was the only one with the early morning alarm clock so he quietly slipped outside to the cab of his truck and programmed the buttons on his radio. Once they were programmed he sat behind the wheel listening to the radio till his eyes fell on the order forms book he had accidently left in the truck. Ready now to read his father's last words for him he picked it up and turned the pages until he read Dear Son:

Dear Son:

You'll never believe what I've been doing for the last couple of days or where I am now because of it. I can hardly believe it myself. In spite of what some would feel is dire circumstances I've never felt more alive in my life. There's this crazy tom boy of a nurse down here with us guys that keeps tickling my feet just to make sure I'm still alive. That is when she's not sleeping, she was dead tired when she got here this morning and says this is the closet thing she's had to a day off in over a month. I've told her about you and invited her over to the house for dinner to meet you, when your mom's feeling better but she says she has to get back home some where in New Mexico. Too bad, I think she'd make a good catch for you and I'm sure she wouldn't have a problem being married to a fireman.

00000

Mike paused his reading and smiled allowing his eyes to fill and then drain down his cheeks before wiping them with his hand and continuing on.

00000

She gives real good foot massages I can tell you that.

She also says that you'd be real proud of me for what I've done. Well I don't know about that but thinking about the ten people that we pulled out of this mess today and knowing I had a small part in it feels real good. I now understand why you love your work so much and I know why I'm so very proud of you. I can't wait to get out of here and talk with you about this, I'm sure we'll have a lot of fun comparing notes. Don't really know why I'm writing these words down but at least it's something to do until they get to us.

Until we see each other again

Love your very proud and honored Father.

00000

Mike laughed to himself as he thought about what he had read. His dad was trying to set him up and the thought of him trying to sell her on meeting his son seemed very funny right then. Then his eyes filled again and drained volumes down her cheeks. Laura had told his Dad that he'd be proud of him. Oh, that he could have told him that himself, but at least some one did and he was ever so grateful for that.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Mike was sitting in his truck remembering the time he'd given his parents the tour of his first fire station and how his dad had insisted on trying on the coat and hat and sliding down the fire pole. His crew mates at the time kidded him for weeks about having an overgrown kid for a father and he had to agree. Even though he didn't always agree with his choice of profession and spent a lot of time trying to convince him to change to something else when his marriage was going south Mike never doubted his father's love for him or his support. Right then it felt really good to know that his father understood why he loved his work and agreed with him.

A tapping on the truck window pulled Mike away from his deep thoughts and to his brother-in-law standing just outside the truck.

Mike leaned over and unlocked the passenger door and Marty pulled the door open, "Your mother's afraid you're getting ready to leave."

"No," Mike smiled at the thought, "I'm just out here listening to the radio."

"You look better than I've seen you since your dad died," Marty commented, "I think you were actually smiling when I walked up." "That smile wouldn't have anything to do with the young nurse lady you brought with you now does it?"

"Look I just met her," Mike was beginning to get exasperated at the insinuations that he and Laura had some kind of a relationship. "at least half of the time we've been together I spent yelling at her."

"And she still came home with you to meet your mother," Marty teased, "She must really like you a lot."

Mike rolled his eyes, shook his head and laughed.

"Well your mom said to tell you breakfast is almost ready and I'd recommend getting inside because I think your sister is planning to propose for you."

"Mel wouldn't dare." Mike challenged,

"No, but Sarah would." Marty put the fear in Mike who was out of the truck and in the house before Marty could close the passenger door and get half way to the house. As he raced into the kitchen he found Sarah helping her mother fix breakfast while Mellissa sat at the breakfast counter keeping them company. Laura was no where to be seen.

"That was a fast entrance," his mom smiled then pulled him down for a kiss on the cheek." You must be starved."

Just then Marty entered the house with a Cheshire cat grin on his face and Mike knew he'd been had royal.

"Would you like to wake your lady friend up or should we let her sleep?" Mom asked.

"I'll go wake her up," Sarah offered and Mike quickly stepped between her and the door.

"No! I'll check with her," Mike stammered with a look of near panic on his face while his brother-in-law snickered in the back ground. Everyone else looked clueless.

Mike made his way for the den looking over his shoulder as he went to make sure his sister wasn't following him. After taking a deep breath he quietly knocked on the door and waited. He didn't hear anything.

With six eyes and three cheesy grins burning holes in the back of his head, Mellissa was too uncomfortable to get off the stool, Mike knocked a little louder. Waiting for a response he tapped his toes on the floor. Just how aggressive should he get? They did keep her up till three in the morning; she had had a rough night after she went to bed. She did have surgery just the day before and was still recovering. Then Mike remembered her antibiotics and knew that she needed to take them three times a day and he had seen a label on them saying they needed to be taken with milk or food. Mike knocked even louder.

When there was still no response Mike took hold of the door knob and a deep breath at the same time still feeling his family's eyes burning the back of his head and his face turning crimson. When he woke her up from her active dream she had been wearing surgical scrubs so Mike was sure she was decent. Slowly he opened the door just a crack. When he was able to see Laura, she was sitting on the sofa with her head resting on the back of it her pillow held up to her chest and the ice packs still balanced on her shoulder. She looked to be asleep but fitfully and out of concern Mike went a head and entered the den and the first thing he did when he reached her side was to place his hand on her forehead checking to see if she had a temperature.

"Will I live mom?" Laura spoke before opening her eyes.

"You don't feel like your running a fever," Mike answered, "Mom sent me in here to tell you breakfast is almost ready." Mike glanced over his shoulder to see his youngest sister peeking around the door frame.

"How are you feeling this morning?" Mike made small talk as Laura finished waking up.

"Not bad," Laura answered as she stretched her good arm and gingerly moved her other just a little. "That ice really helped, thank you."

"Your welcome. Do you need some fresh ones?"

"Sarah, come away from that door now, we don't want to scare that girl away before your brother has a chance now do we." Was heard from the kitchen and Mike cringed and rolled his eyes as he face burned a brighter crimson than it was. Laura buried her face in her pillow and laughed but when she came up for air she was rather crimson herself.

"Go on and entertain your family," Laura waved the fireman out the door, "I'll get dressed and be out in a few."

Mike stepped into the kitchen to have both of his sisters heckle him on his current face color and just as everyone was sitting to the table Laura appeared wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt that read Nurses call the shots.

After breakfast Mike was quick to get Laura a fresh ice pack for her shoulder before pressing his youngest sister into helping him clear the dishes and load the dishwasher, for no other reason than to keep her away from Laura. And then everyone gathered in the living room to finish going over the items that Mike had retrieved. The letters that their husband and father had written were read aloud and everyone marveled at how cheerful they were. Each one spoke of the love he had for his family.

Each person took the part of someone who had been involved in the radio transmissions and read the transcripts out loud laughing at the jokes that were told and feeling the gayety that had been present. Laura then persuaded Mrs. Stoker to pull out her husbands personal effects and to open up his wallet displaying the contents on the coffee table for all to see.

This was the most emotional package to open as they reread newspaper articles about themselves from years gone by there was even a concert program where Mike had played a piano solo in high school. A copy of he and his wife's marriage announcement and a love letter written the night before the wedding, it was falling apart and had been taped back together but it was clear it had been read many times.

Laura told them all that the best way to be strong for each other is to share their tears. "Crying is not necessarily a bad thing," She said and they all allowed their tears to fall. Before they were through Mom sorted out all the letters and other papers and gave them to the person they were about, she then picked up her husband's watch and placed it in her son's hand before closing his fingers around it. The copper bracelet went to one daughter and the religious medal he had worn around his neck went to the other daughter. Mom then picked up the wedding ring and clenched it tight in her fist as she held it next to her heart.

With their emotions emptied and a simple lunch everyone needed some alone time and most everyone needed a nap.

Mike made sure Laura had a fresh ice pack before he headed to his room and lay on his bed toying with his father's watch. He truly missed his father but now he knew he hadn't suffered he had in fact had the adventure of a life time before he died. The jokes they had told back and forth while they were waiting to be dug out ran through Mike's mind as he drifted off to sleep, only to have Sarah shake him awake a few hours later.

"You are going to take her someplace nice for dinner aren't you?" "I mean how are you going to woo her if you've always got your family around?"

"Actually Sarah, I was planning to make spaghetti for dinner for everyone and despite what everyone seems to think, Laura and I are not dating. She's here to share with us what happened before Dad died. She doesn't even live in California for Pete's sake."

"So, there's such a thing as a long distance romance."

Mike rose up on his elbow and rolled his eyes then decided he might as well start dinner. Mike some how managed to get Mellissa to sit and talk with Laura while he cooked and Marty was put to work making the garlic bread. Sarah was sent to the store to buy the ingredients for the salad while Mom ran back and forth between the two groups.

After dinner Mike succumbed to all the hints and suggestions and asked Laura to go for a walk in his mother's flower garden. After walking among the roses Mike nervously invited Laura to have a seat on the garden bench and sat next to her.

"Mike," Laura spoke in a tone of resolve, "I want you to know that I think you're a very attractive man , very sweet and wonderful and any girl in their right mind should jump at the chance to spend as much time with you as they can. But I'm not in my right mind. I learned the hard way that a relationship is something to go into with a clear head, and right now mine is so full of sadness and horrors there's no room for anything else. I know you know how painful divorce can be; my marriage only lasted four months. I don't want to make that mistake again and I'm sure you don't either."

"I didn't mean to pressure-"

"You didn't," Laura interrupted, "I know exactly where the pressure is coming from; I just had to let you know where I'm at. And I think you know it's not a really great place right now."

"Is there anything I can do to help?" Mike felt so guilty, she had given him so much. He had truly found the peace he had been looking for these last months "If you'd like to talk I'm willing to listen."

"I appreciate that, and you have helped more than you know. Watching you and your family heal has given me more faith that my peace is still out there and I know I'll find it, I just need to give it some time."

Just then the air was split by an agonizing scream from the house followed by Marty Calling "Miiiiike!"

"What the,--" Mike questioned.

"I think your sister's water just broke."


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Brother and friend ran for the house hand in hand to find Brother in Law standing in the hall way pulling at his hair. "I was trying to time the contractions but the last one didn't finish before the next one started."

"I was afraid this might happen," Laura shook her head with a calm smile.

"Mike, can you drive? I'm too nervous. The hospital is half hour away."

"More than that buddy, it's rush hour." Mike exclaimed significantly calmer than his brother in law but not quite as calm as Laura.

"We're not going anywhere," Laura instructed with a giggle. "You," she pointed to the expectant father, "Stay with her and keep her calm. Slow your breathing down or you're going to pass out and miss all the fun. "You," she pointed to Mike, "I need something I can use to suction out the baby's airway. You," she pointed to the expectant Grandmother "I'll need a couple of towels, toss them in the dryer and get them warm for me. And you," she pointed to Sarah, "Go call an ambulance." Stepping into the room she looked at the mother in heavy labor, "you, Breath, I'm going to go wash my hands good and I'll be right back."

Mike ran to his truck for the first aid kit there knowing it had at least some of the stuff Laura was going to need and returned to find his sister on the phone and Laura in the bathroom vigorously scrubbing her hands with a heavy lather of soap. "Have you done this before?"

"I've assisted the paramedics a couple of times."

"A seasoned pro it sounds like. Do you by any chance have any sterile gloves in that thing?" She asked nodding toward the first aid kit in his hands.

"A couple of pair."

"Good, with this infection in my shoulder I don't want to take any chances." She rinsed her hands and shook them dry, "Get scrubbed up and don't take to long, Uncle." Laura took the first aid kit from Mike and headed for the bedroom.

Mike followed Laura's example and scrubbed his hands thoroughly and by the time he was at Laura's side the baby was crowning. His modesty made him feel a little uncomfortable seeing that part of his sister's anatomy but his professional side took over when he asked, "What do you want me to do?"

"Can you pull out what ever suction device you have and then get me a set of vitals on your sister?"

"Sure thing" Mike placed a large syringe on the bed near Laura's elbow and moved with blood pressure cuff in hand to follow his instructions. He had just taken her wrist to count a pulse when.

"Don't push, don't push, breath, keep breathing, this little monkey's been playing jump rope in there and forgot to duck his head." Laura could be seen grimacing as she moved her shoulder.

"Mike I need you," She called and Mike hurried back to her other side. "Break out the clamps we're going to have to cut the cord. I can't get it to slip over the head. Hang in there Momma, keep breathing."

Mike pulled the package containing some plastic clamps and umbilical tape from his box and opened it up for Laura dumping it out on a clean cloth on the bed.

"Is that all you got?" Laura looked at Mike, "I need something with a longer handle."

Mike franticly fumbled around in his first aid kit and came up with a pair of long handled clamps but only one pair.

"That will have to do," she took the tool from his hands and quickly placed it on the cord, "Mike I need you to hold the cord here." She pointed. "Make sure you hold it tight this kid can't afford to loose very much blood at this point."

Mike did as he was told and Laura cut the cord and then proceeded to unwrap the cord around the baby's neck, once, twice, three times, five times the cord had been wrapped around the kid's neck. She then proceeded to suction the air way.

"Okay Mellissa one good push, come on, here we go," Laura coached.

Grandma appeared in the doorway at the same time sirens could be heard, "I have the towels but I didn't know if you needed blue of pink so I brought both."

"Blue," Laura answered then with out looking away from the baby, "Mike I need oxygen fast!" The baby wasn't crying yet.

Mike bushed from his squat to his feet and sprinted out the front door and to the curb, as soon as the squad pulled up he was pulling at the compartment door where he knew the oxygen was stored. "we need this fast," he explained to the stunned paramedic getting out of the squad as he grabbed the oxygen system and started to run, "First right through the door and at the end of the hall way," he called over his shoulder as he carried the heavy tank and ran ahead of them.

Mike shouldered his way between his mom and sister and was at Laura's side, familiar with the equipment he pulled a mask off and turned the oxygen on as Laura took the mask from his hand and placed it over the baby's face while she proceeded to massage his chest and suction mucus from his mouth and nose. Just as the paramedics reached the doorway a cry sang out followed by loud sighs from one nurse and one fireman. The rest followed through with their sighs as Grandma stepped forward to try and calm the baby.

"No, let him cry," Laura instructed, "It's the best way for him to fill his lungs." Laura then turned her attention to the paramedics standing in the doorway. "Welcome to our little birthday party we kinda started with out you."

"So it appears," one of the paramedics responded letting Laura's t-shirt be her credentials at the moment.

"Now were you the ones bringing the cake?" Laura joked before assigning. "Can one of you boys get a set of vitals on the mother? We might need to start and IV."

Until the ambulance arrived Laura called out instructions and as soon as Mellissa was moved over to the gurney Laura placed the bundled baby boy in her arms. "Watch those APGAR scores on the way in." She instructed as mother and baby were loaded.

Grandma, Aunt Sarah, and Papa Marty climbed into a car and followed the ambulance as Laura and Mike stood by and watched. "Well Uncle Mike, that was good work in there, now we better go clean up the mess we made."

Mike did his best to keep Laura from stretching her arm or lifting more than he thought she should but was only marginally successful. When the last of the blankets from the bed made it to the washing machine Mike was quick to sit Laura down with a couple of fresh ice packs on her shoulder.

"I really expected this beast to be feeling better than this by now," Laura confessed. "Since I've done what I came here to do I should probably head back in the morning and get the Dr. to look at it again."

"I'll take you." Mike was quick to offer.

"I can take a bus, there's no reason for you to leave your family."

"I'm headed home tomorrow anyway. Now that the baby's here no one's going to have time for me," Mike informed his guest. "And I'm afraid I don't get as excited about changing diapers and clothes as my mom and sisters do."

"You're not jealous are you?" Laura chided the fireman.

"No, I'm not jealous, I just don't know what to do now except buy the kid a teddy bear." Mike tried to put his feelings in to words. "It's not like I'll be given a chance to play with him till he's older."

"No he won't be playing ball for a while yet," Laura agreed.

00000

Back at Station fifty one five men lined up for roll call and Hank didn't miss the books that two of them were holding behind their back. It seamed that his two paramedics' curiosity had been peaked enough to purchase their own copies of 'keep the rescuers rescuing,' and at least one of them held a finger between the pages in the general area of chapter 23.

Hank handed out cleaning assignments and proceeded to make sure the replacement engineer was familiar with fifty ones particular engine. As they walked through the knobs and gages Hank kept his hearing tuned on the paramedics as they compared thoughts on the book more than they counted supplies.

When he was sure the engineer knew how to get water from the engine he left with Chet to go hang some hose and Hank turned his full attention to his paramedics.

"I see you two have decided to do a little reading." He started the conversation as he leaned against the squad.

"It's a really good book Cap." Roy responded to his Captain's remark.

"And your comments about us were a real compliment, thanks Cap," John added.

"Yeah, thanks for the compliments," Roy confirmed.

Hank blushed a little but looked at his paramedics sternly. "What ever you do don't let Kelly read chapter 23. If you know what I mean."

"Oh don't worry Cap," Roy was quick to answer.

"We'd never dream of it." Johnny finished for him.

"See to it that you don't or we'll all be hating life around here."

As Captain Stanley stepped into his office to get going on his paperwork Marco covertly snuck around the back of the squad. "Quick guys, what's in Chapter 10?"

00000

It was mid morning when Mike was finally able to pull himself away from his mother.

"Thank you so much for what you've done to help our family heal." Mom said to Laura before she was allowed to climb in the truck. "And for delivering my Grandson safely, things were a little scary there for a moment."

"That's why the doctor's don't recommend home deliveries," Laura offered. "He should be just fine now though."

"I hope we meet up again some time." Mom offered and then finally allowed Laura to climb into her son's truck. Laura didn't make any statement concerning Mike's mother's parting words.

The ride was quiet for the first while then Laura started asking Mike how he was feeling now. He still felt like he was being psycho analyzed but it wasn't as unwanted as it had been before. Still he turned the tables.

"You said that you were married once. What happened?"

"It was a mistake that never should have happened." Laura answered after a moment of silence. "We both realized that before the honeymoon was over. I guess I just wanted to be with someone after my first big earthquake. I was so traumatized by everything I saw. I wasn't prepared for all the death and suffering. Scott and I worked well together He was a doctor and I was a nurse. I thought getting married would make everything alright again. There was just nothing between us out side of working together. And the memories didn't go away."

Mike was trying to think of something else to ask Laura before she started quizzing him again but it was just about then that he was detoured off the highway because of an accident and when he made it to the on ramp to get back on the traffic was so backed up that he decided to travel off highway for a ways further. There were several others who had the same thought process making traffic frustrating but it was an eighteen wheel truck and a fully loaded school bus a head that proved to be all that Mike could see.

For reasons they never would figure out the semi tractor and trailer swerved into the bus and before motion came to a complete halt the bus was on it's side and the semi was jack knifed around it. Mike was able to stop his truck in plenty of time but both he and Laura could hear the calls for help from with in the bus and there was no way they could deny them aid.

Mike watched the pain in Laura's face as she pulled herself up on to the bus. She was using her sore shoulder as little as possible but she couldn't avoid it all together. The hardest part for him was knowing he had to just let he do what she was doing no mater how much pain she was in.

A store keeper came out reporting that he had called the fire department and that help was on the way but as Mike looked back at the traffic that was packed around them he knew it was going to take them time to get through. He and Laura were on their own and his small first aid kit wasn't going to go nearly far enough.

"This bus is full to capacity," Laura called down once she had looked through a window. "There's a window open near the front of the bus I'm going to climb in there."

"I'll check on the other driver," Mike informed as he ran around the semi. He didn't have to even check for a pulse the other driver was so obviously dead. Mike was soon climbing up on the bus to offer what ever help he could to Laura.

"How's the other driver," Laura asked looking up from a patient midway down the bus. Mike just shook his head and she nod hers to show her understanding. "The capacity listed in the front of the bus is 120 and as far as I can tell there wasn't an empty seat. The most sever injuries are on the bottom of the heap, if you can get that windshield out I think we can start moving some of the less injured so that we can get to them."

"I'm on it." Mike jumped from the bus and ran to his truck to get his tire iron and his jack. Glancing in both directions he could hear sirens in the distance but all he could see were a couple of police cars. 'Hopefully they would be able to clear a path for the engine and squads,' Mike thought as he hurried back and climbed up on the bus again. Knowing it was going to be safer to push the windshield out from the inside Mike lowered himself in through the open window, a tight squeeze, being very careful not to step on any of the victims as he found footing.

"Okay everybody I'm with the county fire department we're going to get you out of here as fast as we can, so just hang tight and don't move." Mike called out as he carefully stepped between the victims making his way to the front of the bus. The bus driver was regaining consciousness just as he reached the front and Mike carefully knelt at his side to assure him all was being taken care of before draping a jacket to protect his face from any flying glass. Mike then proceeded to break the seal around the edge of the windshield in preparations of pushing it out. He was just starting to push when a police officer started talking to him through the windshield.

Mike pulled his wallet from his back pocket and flashed his badge and Id through the window. "We have approximately 120 kids on this bus can you radio that in and tell them to send all the man power and ambulances they can." Mike informed the police officer what was needed most from him at that moment. "Do you know the ETA of the engine?"

"They're working their way here on foot now."

"Can you get them working on popping the back exit so we can start evacuating there too?"

"Sure thing,"

The first of the firemen arrived in time to help Mike pull the windshield from the bus and while they were doing that Mike called to the back of the bus where Laura was working. "The cavalry is here what do you need?"

"First thing I need is less bodies," Laura called back, "then I'll need C-collars, and back boards, at least six of them and some IV's, probably ringers. I'll let you know after that."

Mike looked to the fire captain on the other side of the windshield to see if he heard and as soon as he pulled his HT up to his mouth and started barking out orders Mike started pushing on the windshield.

With the front and back now open and fire crews and paramedics working on the victims in that area Mike and Laura set up in the middle of the bus. Mike was able to tape a blanket up to catch the broken glass and crews shattered the side windows Mike was then able to splint the more minor injuries and lift them up as Laura tackled the more sever.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Roy and John pulled the squad as close to the overturned bus as they could, they were both surprised by the number of squads and ambulances parked in the area that had now been cleared of all nonessential vehicles.

"That bus must be loaded with kids," John commented as they slowed before moving into the place they were being directed to park. "Why else would they send us this far out of our area?"

"I'm afraid you're right junior, we're going to earn our pay check today." Roy added as he put the squad in park and reached for the door handle.

The battalion chief in charge jogged up to the newly arrived paramedics, "We're taking the more critical patients to the closest hospitals but they had to move some that are less sever out to get to the more seriously injured that were on the bottom. We have all the help we can squeeze inside the bus right now I want you boys to work with those patients being carried over there."

"Right chief." They answered in unison and pulling their supplies jogged to the area they had been directed. Glancing around as they moved among the teens scattered around them John noticed one car that looked out of place, it had no body damage to indicate it was involved in the accident but it wasn't red either, nor did it have a light bar on top.

"That looks like Stoker's truck." John commented getting Roy's attention.

"There's hundreds of trucks out there just like it. Cap said Mike was spending some time with his family." Roy dismissed John's thoughts.

"Yeah you're probably right." John surrendered and went to work.

There were all kinds of injuries including some suspected internal bleeding but John and Roy were both amazed at the first aid that had been given. Splints were made of school books and note books and tied in place using scarves, jackets, and gym clothes. Towels and blankets had been used in place of c-collars. It wasn't long before the two paramedics had used up a majority of their supplies and their patients were being loaded into an ambulance.

Roy climbed in to one that had a patient on the gurney, one on the bench on the other side and two hanging on stretchers from the ceiling and a fifth patient sitting in the chair that the paramedic usually sat in during the ride to the hospital.

John was aided into an ambulance where a patient was on the gurney, one hanging from the ceiling over head and five sitting up on the bench, with another in the chair normally used by the paramedic. These were among the less injured patients and they were taking them back to Rampart General which was one of the farthest hospitals from the accident.

Dixie was waiting at the emergency entrance when the ambulance backed in and Roy had to smile at the size of her eyes when the ambulance doors were opened to reveal the number of patients he was bringing in. "There's more in the next one," he warned her as he started pulling patients out of the back.

Once their patients were unloaded they grabbed some more supplies and climbed back in one of the ambulances for a ride back to the accident scene and more patients.

Their second run they only loaded one ambulance with five patients and as John gave the customary two slaps signaling it was safe to pull out the chief walked over to him and released him from the accident. "I think we have everything under control now you can go ahead and take your squad in. Thanks for the help on this one."

"That's what we're here for," John answered and climbed in the squad to go restock.

00000

Mike was out of his element, normally he would have been the one outside the bus washing down the gas leak and handing up supplies. Still he knew what to do in most of the cases and what he didn't know he understood what Laura was telling him. For the most part Laura stabilized the patients then moved on to the next one while Mike took charge of getting them moved out. This saved Laura's shoulder some but the moving she was required to do to keep her patients going took its toll. Mike watched as she used what ever she could find on the bus to do the job and then watched as she placed chest tubes in at least four patients because their lungs were collapsing.

Mike watched a few new techniques for starting IV's when the veins had collapsed he wanted to remember and tell John and Roy about, but wasn't sure he could describe them well enough.

Word came in when they had reached the worst of the injuries that there was a doctor who had responded from one of the near by hospitals and Laura hurried to get a couple of patients into his hands. Still she and Mike didn't see the outside of the bus until the last patient was being lifted out.

Medics who had been working at the back of the bus came to help Mike and Laura roll the last patient onto a back board and were carefully lifting him up through the side windows when Mike climbed out with the others to help lift the patient back down on to a stretcher. With water being sprayed at both the other exit's from the bus one of the firemen who had spent some time on top of the bus helping to lift patients out and supplies in reached down to give Laura a hand up. Unaware of Laura's sore shoulder he gave a pull up on her good hand but one hand wasn't enough of a hold and their grip slipped and Laura fell back into the bus striking one of the seats on the way down before banging her head on the roof of the bus.

Mike heard the clunk and the groan but it was the call, "Our nurse is down!" from one of the men in uniform that sparked him in to action. He was on top of the bus again faster than he had done the first time he was up there and he had long lost count of how many times he had been in and out of that bus through the windows.

"I'll live," were Laura's first words when Mike dropped down next to her with a worried look on his face. Another paramedic was quickly at her side performing an assessment and Mike just sat back watching.

"I didn't loose consciousness, I have a bruise on my back side and my back and no they don't hurt badly, the only part of me that does hurt is my shoulder and that was hurting before the bus turned over." Laura rattled off and once the paramedic confirmed her self diagnosis he and Mike helped her get to her feet by grabbing elbow to elbow instead of just pulling on the hand. The call then came to stop the water for a moment and Laura was guided out the emergency exit and Mike walked her over to his truck, where the battalion chief met them with cups of water for them to drink.

"Have you two been in that bus from the beginning?" He asked as he handed the water over.

"NO, we didn't get in until after it crashed," Laura smart cracked, "It's his idea of the perfect date." Laura shook her thumb in Mike's direction.

Mike turned away to hide his smile because he didn't dare let out the full belly laugh he wanted to burst out with. When the Chief brought seriousness back by asking if they had any idea what they were doing in there.

Both Mike and Laura pulled their credentials out and the chief took a few notes for his report before turning them over to the police to give a statement about how the accident happened.

00000

"That was some bus accident they called you on. It's the only thing on the TV all afternoon." Hank greeted his paramedics once they climbed out of the squad. "Just how many patients did you two haul away from there?"

"Let's see, I rode in with two loads of five each," Roy answered before turning to Johnny.

"My load had eight in it. You should have seen the look on Dixie's face when we started pulling them out of the back." Johnny added.

"Eighteen patients in three ambulance loads! Where did they find room for you guys?" Hank exclaimed. He had been watching the reports of the accident clean up on the TV since he heard ten squads called out on it and knew it had to be news worthy, and he wasn't really surprised by the numbers his paramedics were reporting because the news footage had shown that they were packing them in.

"There were a lot of kids on that bus, they had to do something to get them all to the hospital." Roy commented.

"How serious were the injuries?"

"A lot of broken collarbones and dislocated shoulders," Johnny reported.

"Yeah, that and broken arms from trying to stop them selves from falling." Roy added. "Of course because we were taking our patients to the farthest hospital we didn't have the worst of the patients."

"Yeah, we did have some of the more minor injuries," Johnny added, "They had to pull them out of the bus to get to the more seriously injured underneath them."

"That's what they were saying on the news." Hank was still shaking his head. "Sure glad we don't have these kind of things everyday."

"If they did they'd start putting seatbelts on buses," Johnny commented, "Most if not all the injuries came from falling on top of each other."

"Did you guys by any chance see Mike?" Chet asked.

"Mike?" Johnny questioned.

"Yeah, Chet here thinks he saw him in the news footage but no one else did." Marco filled the paramedics in.

"Well it just so happens we did see a truck just like his there," Johnny informed the group, "It was parked right behind the bus."

"So Mike was there," Hank's concern flared again.

"We didn't actually see him," Roy was quick to report, "Just a truck like his. We have no idea if it was his or someone else's."

00000

Lunch and a run later John and Roy were walking down the hall at Rampart in the direction of the squad when Johnny reached over and gently slapped his partner's shoulder stopping their progress. When he had Roy's attention he pointed with the antenna of the handy talkie toward the waiting room where Mike was sitting reading or at least pretending to read a magazine. They noticed that he looked tired and sweaty but different than he had looked last they saw him.

The two paramedics made their way to their friend and slipped in seats on either side of him catching his attention.

"Hi guys," Mike responded looking back and forth at his crew mates.

"Fancy seeing you here," Johnny commented, "are you all right?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Mike continued looking back and forth at his friends who were now smiling at him with 'okay tell me what's going on' type of smiles. "I'm just here with Laura."

"With Laura?" Roy gently prodded.

"Yeah, a, she um, hurt her shoulder, in a, over in China, um, a long time ago and a, it got infected." Mike stammered as the smiles on his comrades grew larger. "Well anyway, It's not getting better so she's having the doctor look at it again."

"I see," Johnny commented, "and you're waiting here for her why?"

"I didn't want to go back with her because she'll be taking her shirt off and all," Mike blushed and Johnny grinned even more crocked than normal while Roy let out a faint chuckle.

"Have you been waiting long?" Roy asked enjoying Mike's giddiness as much as his partner was.

"A, no they just took Laura back a, about five minutes ago." Mike answered still turning his head back and forth between the two smiling paramedics.

"It's a good thing you weren't here a little earlier," Johnny took pity on his friend and decided to change the subject, but he also wanted to find something out. "This place was hopping with patients from a bus wreck."

"Oh I know all about that." Mike let out a deep breath and shook his head. He was grateful for the change of subject.

"Did you hear about it on the radio?" Roy questioned.

"NO, I was driving right behind it when the semi pushed it over on its side!" Mike exclaimed still shaking his head. "A hundred and twenty kids all pilled on top of each other and the worst injuries were on the bottom. Did you guys roll on that one?"

"Yeah, we brought eighteen of the more minor injuries back to Rampart." Johnny informed, "Where were you?"

"In the bus, where else," Mike answered. "Laura was really amazing even with her bad shoulder."

The three firemen swapped stories while Mike waited and at times it seemed as if they were talking about two totally different wrecks. After a few minutes Mike glanced toward the treatment rooms to see Laura being escorted in his direction by Dr. Morton. Jumping to his feet Mike waited for Laura to approach. John and Roy slowly following him but not before sharing a friendly smile with each other behind Mike's back.

"I see they put your sling back on you." Mike commented with an 'I told you so' tone to his voice.

"Yea," Laura scowled shifting her eyes to glare at Dr. Morton with out turning her head.

"See what you can do to help her get some rest." Dr. Morton spoke to Mike, "No more taking care of mass injuries on wrecked buses."

"Now doc if you'd been in my place you'd have done the same thing." Laura defended.

"I don't have a badly infected shoulder," Morton countered.

"Even if you did you would have done what you could to help," Laura challenged.

Morton let out a sigh, "You're right," he conceded. "But if this antibiotic doesn't work the next option is to put you in the hospital on IV antibiotics and possibly more surgery."

"Threat received," Laura held up her right hand and sighed in resignation.

"If I were you right now and even ad much as saw a bus in front of me on the highway I'd take the first exit and head in the opposite direction," Morton added for extra measure.

"Maybe I'll just sleep in my camper in the parking garage with a sign on it saying emergency that way," Laura joked then turned to Mike, "I guess I better get my bag out of your truck so you can be rid of me."

"I thought I'd take you out for something to eat first," Mike stalled, "I know you haven't had anything to eat since breakfast."

"You really should have something on your stomach when you take that antibiotic," Dr. Morton cautioned having no idea what so ever he was interfering with. "It can make you nauseous if taken on an empty stomach."

"You really don't want to deal with nausea in addition to everything else you're dealing with now." Johnny added knowing exactly what he was trying to promote.

"You know Mike I think that's real sweet of you but I really don't feel up to going out any where," Laura protested. "I'd be rotten company right now and with my luck someone in the restaurant would choke on something or fall over with a heart attack and I'd have to make the fine doctor here mad at me again."

"Then I'll just take you to my place and fix you something to eat," Mike persisted.

"Mike is an excellent cook," Roy added his persuasion.

"After everything you've done for me and my family it's the lease I can do." Mike continued to persist.

"But—"

"And Mikes place has air conditioning and is a whole lot quieter than the parking structure." Johnny added.

Just then Dixie who had been listening in pushed a wheelchair into the back of Laura's knees forcing her to sit in it before adding, "That sounds like a wonderful idea, you can get a chance to sample the fringe benefits of working here. Why we have strong and handsome firemen like Mike here in and out of our hospital all day every day."

"Yeah but would my mother approve," Laura countered as Mike moved to take control of the wheelchair from Dixie.

"I know my mom would approve," Mike said as he moved toward the door. "If you want you can call her and ask her."

"Your mom would send the minister over," Laura scoffed.

Roy and Johnny managed to hold their breath until Mike managed to get Laura in his truck and drive off then they and Dixie burst out laughing.

Warning : my oldest son is graduating from High school next week and with all the awards dinners and parties on the schedule between now and then I will likely not get the next chapter out until after words. Sorry but the kids come first.


	15. Chapter 15

I was up late waiting for some one to come home from a party so here's the next chapter a head of schedule.

Chapter 15

When the squad backed into the bay John had his nose in his copy of 'keep the rescuers rescuing'. "Man that girl really knows what it's like for us," he said turning from his book to his partner who was still in the squad. "Did you see the difference in Stoker?"

"It was a definite improvement that's for sure." Roy had to agree. "I just hope the change lasts after the girl goes back to were she came from."

"Did I hear you right," Captain Stanley walked up to the squad and spoke to his paramedics through the window. "You've seen Mike?"

"Yeah, He was at the hospital waiting for a friend." Roy discreetly informed his captain. "And he looked a lot better than he has in months."

"Chet was right; Mike was at the bus accident today." John added.

"He was?" Captain Stanley questioned with a much less than pleased look on his face.

"I told you I saw him," Chet walked up on the passenger side if the squad.

"According to Mike, he and Laura were right behind the bus when the accident occurred and the two of them were the first ones to respond and spent the whole time inside the bus patching up some of the worst injured." Roy filled in details.

"So where is he now, still at the hospital?" Captain Stanley asked.

"No, He's taking Laura home with him to fix her a nice home cooked meal." Johnny revealed with flare. "I'm betting she spends the night, maybe even longer."

"I sure hope you're wrong about that." Their Captain said with a worried look on his face as he moved toward his office mumbling something about negative teddy bears.

"What's a negative teddy bear?" Chet questioned the already confused paramedics.

Roy and John looked at each other and shrugged their shoulders before John opened his book and checked the list of contents for anything related to teddy bears.

"Where did you get that?" Chet exclaimed when he saw the title of the book.

"At the book store," John answered as he pulled the book out of Chet's reach. "If you want one you're going to have to get your own."

"I just want to read one chapter," Chet reached into the cab of the squad as far as he could through the window. "Pretty please."

"Trust me Chet you don't want to know," Johnny closed the book and slipped it underneath himself sitting on it.

"Why what's it about?"

"People who are obnoxious," Marco called out from the doorway of the common room.

"And annoying," Johnny added still sitting in his seat in the squad.

"I think it used words like neurotic and insight homicidal tendencies." Roy added as he got out of the squad.

"If you really want to know what it's about Chet, just look in the mirror." Marco added the last insult before ducking back into the common room to finish dinner.

"Like I said Chet you really don't want to know," Johnny added still sitting on the book in his seat in the squad.

Dejected Chet turned and slowly walked away and after sticking his head out the window to make sure he was gone Johnny finally got out of the squad and stuffed his copy of the book in the inside pocket of his uniform jacket.

Unbeknownst to any of them Captain Stanley was able to hear every word of the conversation from his office as he sat there debating with himself weather or not to call Stoker at home and if he did what would he say to him.

00000

Mike guided Laura into his apartment, she really didn't feel well and it showed. Guiding her to the sofa he quickly headed for the kitchen to get her a glass of milk to take her new antibiotics with only to be able to tell by the clumps that landed in the glass as he poured that the milk had gone bad while he was gone. Thinking back he realized that he hadn't been to the store in nearly two weeks and marveled at how much better he felt than the last time he was in his apartment. Pouring the milk down the drain Mike searched his cupboards and managed to find a can of soup that he started to warm up. Standing in the doorway to his kitchen Mike watched as Laura looked out his living room window. She had done so much for him, in a way she had given him back his father or at least the ability to see him as a hero and to feel his love for his family.

"I'll have something for you to eat in just a minute." Mike called to Laura from the door of his kitchen. "You're welcome to go lay down on my bed while you're waiting."

"A, NO, that's way too scary to even think about," Laura turned away from the window holding her left arm with her right hand; it was so obvious that her shoulder was hurting.

"I'll make an ice pack for your shoulder. You can at least make yourself comfortable on the couch. I'll get you a couple of pillows."

"Mike," Laura looked to her host and studied his face, "You know it's not even a good idea for me to stay here tonight."

"I just want to see to it that you get a good meal." Mike swallowed nervously. "You need to rest if so your body can fight that infection. I'm not sure how much rest you could possibly get in that camper of yours in this heat."

Mike managed to fill a plastic bag with ice and coax Laura to sit down on the sofa as he carefully packed her shoulder with the ice before slipping into his room and pulling the two pillows from his bed and bringing them to Laura. By then the soup was warmed so Mike dished up a bowl of it and brought it to Laura coaxing her to eat and then take her pills. He was both pleased and worried when she took one of her pain pills along with the antibiotics.

"I need to go to the store and get some supplies for dinner." Mike informed Laura as he tried to settle her in with pillows and ice. "I wasn't planning to be around for a few days and let my pantry get a little empty."

"Look, maybe you should take me back to my truck while you're out." Laura began to peel herself off the sofa.

"No," Mike placed a hand on her shoulders and gently pushed her back. "You need some rest, you'll be alone here with no one to disturb you and I'll take my time so you don't have to worry about me." "There's air conditioning here and you'll rest a lot better than in your camper."

"All right," Laura gave in beginning to feel the first effects of the pain pill, "but as soon as dinner is over either you take me back to my truck or I'm calling a cab."

"Okay," Mike agreed but he was hoping to be able to change her mind when that time came.

Laura rested her head back on the pillow and closed her eyes but her ears were tuned in to the sounds around her as the drugs in her system started to do their job. As soon as Mike shut and locked the door behind him Laura peeled off of the sofa and searched for the phone.

"LA county fire Department, Captain Stanley speaking,"

"Hello there, Captain Stanley this is Laura Elmer."

"What can I do for you Miss Elmer?"

"I just wanted to let you know that Mike is doing better. I think he's ready to come back to work. We've found most of his answers for him and I suspect by the description given of how his father went into full arrest that the autopsy report is going to show he died from a blood clot to the heart. I'm sure your paramedics can help him understand the terminology and explain that report to him when it arrives."

"I'm sure they can, is there anything else?"

"Yea, I'm going to have to turn our boy over to you now. It's time for me to fade out of the picture before I do more harm than good."

"Are you talking about the negative Teddy bear effect?" Captain Stanley quoted from Laura's book.

"Damn you're good; I wish I'd had a friend like you around when I needed 'em, then maybe I wouldn't be such a mess right now." "Yea, Mike's getting a little too Florence Nightingale on me, as soon as he gets back from the grocery store I'm going to make him take me back to the hospital."

"Are you alright? Do I need to send someone over there?" Hank grew somewhat alarmed.

"NO, it's nothing life threatening. I just have this infection and then new antibiotics they put me on are making me sick to my stomach. We're going to have to try something else." Laura answered before adding a quick, "I got 'a go," and hanging up the phone.

Hank listened to the dial tone for a moment as he collected his thoughts. He then let out a deep breath and dialed Mike's home phone. He let it ring as his mind raced through the list of reasons Laura might not be answering. He was just about to call in a silent alarm and head the station over to Mike's apartment when the phone picked up.

"Laura! Are you alright?"

"Yea, Yea, I am now. I just had to throw up but I'm alright now."

"I'm going to send my paramedics over there."

"NO! no that's not necessary. I'm fine now, I'm just going to rest until Mike get's back and then I'll have him take me to the hospital. I'll be just fine until then."

"Are you sure?"

"I'm a nurse for crying out loud, I can take care of my self till Mike get's back. Just take care of our boy for me. He's bound to have a down moment or two over the next while but that's to be expected. I'll be fine."

"Alright then," Hank sighed. "But if you need anything call, we'll be right there."

"I know you will. Now stop worrying about me, you have enough to worry about."

Reluctantly Hank hung up the phone but made a mental note to call back in an hour or two as he turned back to his paperwork. However his plans to call back were interrupted by a fire call.

00000

As the tired and famished firefighters filed back into the common room after putting out the fire in an old shed some boys had turned into a club house. Fortunately no one was hurt but the men were all hungry and their stomachs told on them. Marco's dinner had been successfully placed in the oven to stay warm and all was ready to eat even the table was set so it wasn't long before they were all chowing down when Hank noticed one of his men was missing.

"Where's Chet?"

Four men stopped filling their faces for a moment to look around and confirm for them selves that Chet was indeed missing,

"Maybe he decided to take a shower," Marco suggested and Hank got up to go find his missing man remembering the conversation about the book he had over heard and sure that was part of why he was missing in action. As he pushed his chair back under the table the phone rang and he reached up and answered it.

"LA county Fire department, Captain Stanley speaking," There was a concerned look on his face as he turned to face the men seated at the table.

"John, Roy, It's Mike he needs to talk to one of you." Hank held the phone out and since John was the closest he took the call.

"This is John," he said with his mouth full then swallowed as he turned a concerned look in his partner's direction. "How hard have you tried to wake her up?" Hank froze in his tracks, "Have you tried a sternal rub? " "Okay, okay, how about a pulse, you can do that can't you?" John looked down for a moment as he took in and blew out a deep breath.

"What is it John?" Hank asked.

"Mike can't wake his girl friend up." Just then he flashed a panicked look at his partner. "Is she breathing?" Then addressing Roy, "Her pulse is 40."

"We better get over there." Roy said mirroring John's panic as he pushed himself from the table.

"Okay Mike, we're on our way. Keep an eye on her and Watch her breathing, if her pulse get's any slower start CPR." John instructed into the phone, "We'll be there as fast as we can."

"Come on everybody," Hank called out, "We're all going." He then caught John's arm as he hung up the phone and told him about the earlier phone call and that she had been throwing up before moving to the base station to call in a silent alarm.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Before Station 51 pulled into the parking lot of Mike's apartment building Hank had already assigned the rest of the men on his engine to stay back unless he radioed them to bring up supplies. As soon as the engine stopped Hank was out and at the squad helping to carry part of their supplies up the stairs.

When they reached Mike's apartment the door was already open several inches so they just pushed it open with their shoulders and hurried in. The first thing they saw was Mike kneeling next to the sofa holding Laura's hand with one of his and brushing the side of her face with his other hand.

"Help's here Laura, they're going to take care of you, just hang in there." He said as John and Roy moved in next to him.

The second thing they noticed was that Mike had moved all the furniture and coffee table off to the side of the room to make room for them to work on Laura when they arrived.

As Hank set the ventilator down next to his paramedics the first thing he noticed was that they were reaching around Mike to do their assessment. His next move was to take Mike by the arm and gently but forcefully pull him away. "Let's give them room to work there Mike."

The aroma of dinner was in the air as Hank gave a quick glance into the kitchen to see the table elegantly set with candlesticks and flowers, a table cloth and napkins. He then turned his attention back to Mike he was clearly worried about his friend and just like any other person they came across in this kind of situation Hank suggested that he sit down and try to relax.

"Her pulse is still only 40 and weak, respirations 6 and shallow," Johnny reported, "We better get her on Oxygen." Mike made a move toward the ventilator but Captain Stanley placed a hand on his shoulder and held him back.

Roy placed a mask on Laura's mouth and nose and turned on the oxygen flow. "I'll contact Rampart."

Laura responded by rolling her head slightly but nothing else.

"Rampart this is squad 51 do you read," Roy worked the biophone. "Rampart this is squad five one."

"Blood pressure is 80 over 40," Johnny called out as he placed the stethoscope on Laura's chest to listen to her lungs. "I can barely hear any breath sounds at all."

"Go ahead 51 this is Rampart," they heard the comforting voice of Dr. Bracket over the biophone.

"Rampart we have a woman approximately 26 years of age who is unresponsive to any form of stimuli. She was in Rampart's out patient department today being treated by Dr. Morton, for an infection in her left shoulder." Roy began followed by repeating her vital signs.

"51 what is the name of this patient?"

"Laura Elmer," Roy answered.

"51, There is a very real possibility that we are dealing with an overdose," Bracket spoke with an unusual amount of panic in his voice. "Start and IV with ringers lactate administer one vile of Narcan and try to determine what she's taken and how much."

Hank thought back on his conversation with her and wondered if suicide was her idea of fading out of the picture.

Johnny grabbed for the IV set up and supplies as Roy turned to Mike, "Do you know where she keeps her medications?"

"In her jacket pocket, there," Mike pointed to the Jacket draped over the end table at Laura's head.

"Has she had any alcohol that you know of?" Johnny asked as Roy grabbed for the jacket and quickly emptied the pockets and started looking at the four bottles of pills that fell out.

"No, only water," Mike answered picking up on the intensity in the paramedics voices.

There were two bottles of antibiotics; one prescribed by Dr. Bracket the other by Dr. Morton, One bottle of steroids, prescribed by Dr. Morton and a bottle of Demerol prescribed by Dr. Bracket. Roy quickly opened the Demerol and dumped the pills in his hand counting them, the bottle said there was ten issued and there were still 9 and a half in the bottle.

"Mike you don't have anything around that she might have taken do you? Something that might be left over from an old injury or anything else." Roy questioned.

"NO, nothing," Mike answered growing more concerned with what he was hearing. Hank remained at his side with his hand on his shoulder keeping him in his chair.

"Roy! Look at this," Johnny called out holding the top of Laura's blouse open respectfully but enough to show his partner the rash that was covering her chest under her clothing. Roy noticed the rash and lifted the bottom of her shirt to see how far it seemed to go.

"Johnny, look at that." Roy pointed out a dramatic purple discoloration on Laura's right side and Johnny bent over his patient to get a better look.

"It get's worse the farther back it goes," John reported as he gently rolled his patient toward him to get a better look at her back. "It's about twice the size of my hand, over the right kidney area. Mike do you know how she got this bruise?"

"She was dropped on the bus today but she was looked over by one of the paramedics out of eight's and they said it was just a bruise." Mike reported, "It didn't look anything like that at the accident scene."

"Rampart this is squad 51,"

"Go ahead 51"

"We have found four prescriptions in the patients name from DR.s Bracket and Morton. As far as we can determine from counting pills she has taken half of one of the Demerol and the antibiotics and steroids as directed, we have however discovered that she has a rash covering the parts of her body that is covered by her clothing and a large hematoma on her right side radiating toward her back in the area of her right kidney that is about twice the size of a hand or possible bigger. Patient's friend states that she was dropped while working with the victims of a bus accident earlier today. The friend stated she was examined by the paramedics on scene but that there was no marked discoloration at the time."

"51, it sounds like we could be dealing with several problems. Administer 2 cc's epinephrine IM and start a second IV with ringers, place patient on 10 liters of O2 per mask and place on spinal precautions, Transport as soon as possible."

"10-4 Rampart, 2 cc's epinephrine IM, 2nd IV ringers o2 and spinal precautions," Roy repeated as Johnny was drawing up the epinephrine in a syringe.

"Cap, we're going to need a backboard," Roy turned to his commander as he pulled the supplies needed to start the second IV out of his boxes.

Hank pulled the Handy Talkie from his belt and pushed the button, "Lopez bring up a back board, Kelly wait for the ambulance and show them where to come as soon as they get here."

"Eppi's on board," Johnny called out. "Do we have an ETA on the ambulance?"

By the time Johnny had slipped a C-collar around Laura's neck Mike had pulled away from his Captain's hand and was standing near Laura's head holding the two bags of IV fluid. Marco hurried through the door with the back board and Hank shut the door again against the crowd that was gathering in the hallway.

"We can hear the ambulance coming, it's about a block away," Marco reported and then Laura took a deep breath.

"Laura, Laura," Johnny started calling as he placed his hands on either side of Laura's face, "Laura, can you hear me?"

"Yeah," Laura whispered as she blinked then opened her eyes. "Did I get run over by the fire engine?"

"Not quite," Johnny answered with a smile as he picked up Laura's wrist to recheck her pulse.

"Well it wasn't a squad; I hurt too much for that." Laura reached up and felt the brace on her neck, "What's with the spinal precautions?"

"We're just being careful," Roy answered, "You've got a nasty bruise on your back we're not sure how bad you were injured."

Laura held both of her arms up so that she could see them, "Two IVs?"

"Your blood pressure was pretty low when we first got here." Johnny explained.

"How low?"

"Why don't you just relax and let us be the paramedics this time." Johnny joked showing his famous crocked smile. "Pulse is now 80 respirations, 12 and deeper."

"Rampart, patient is coming around, pulse 80 respirations 12 hold for BP." Roy reported, "Ambulance has just arrived at our location."

"BP 100 over 70" Johnny called out, "Better," Johnny smiled again. "Now we need to move you onto this back board but we want you to just relax and let us do all the work. Can you do that?"

"I guess we're about to find out aren't we," Laura joked back. "I have to warn you though, who ever said Doctors make the worst patients never met me."

Chet soon came through the door followed by the two ambulance technicians and the seven of them worked together to roll Laura and slip the back board under her before moving her onto the gurney and strapping her down.

"Sorry about dinner," Laura looked up at her host who was still holding her two IV bags. "It smells good."

Mike smiled but the worry shown behind the smile, "I'll expect a rain check".

As the gurney was rolled out the door Hank stood in the hall way holding the gathered crowd out of the way. Laura gave him a glance from behind the oxygen mask then shifted her eyes toward Mike. Hank gave a subtle nod of his head to let her know he was going to be there for his man and Laura was moved on and loaded in the ambulance.

Johnny road in the ambulance with Laura and it was a constant effort for him to keep her awake during the ride.

As they wheeled her into the treatment room Dr. Bracket was quick to check her pupils he then put his hands on the treatment table next to his patient. "Okay Laura talk to me. Tell me what's going on here."

"New antibiotics made me sick to my stomach," Laura answered, "After throwing up I lay down on the sofa to rest until Mike came back from the store. I didn't want to throw up any more so I was focusing on relaxing; I was using a relaxation meditation type thing that I learned a few years ago. It doesn't always work for me but it seamed to be working great at the time and that's the last thing I remember until I was woke up by the paramedics. Mike had been back long enough to fix dinner and the paramedics had started two IV's with out my knowledge. They said something about a low blood pressure but they wouldn't tell me how low."

"Our first report came in at 80 over 40 with a pulse of 40 and real shallow respirations." Bracket checked his records.

"When I was taking the classes I was able to get those kind of numbers but I haven't been able to do it on my own. I've also never been unable to be woken up before."

"What about when you're in the state of burn out and exhaustion that you're in now, how does this meditation thing work for you then?"

"Usually I can't even as much relax enough to sit still let alone get any kind of sleep," Laura answered sleepily, "there are times when working an accident like that bus earlier today is really good therapy for me though."

"Is that why you keep going back in to disaster areas?"

"No, those are never good on my nerves, always too many patients and not enough workers."

"How do you feel right now?" Bracket looked perplexed.

"Relaxed, like I might be able to sleep more than a couple of hours at a time. Still itch a little, might could us a little Benadryl, back and should hurt some but I don't need anything for pain."

"Alright let me check some things out, then we'll see to it that you get some rest." Bracket started writing on the chart.

"Just remember not to slip me anything, I warned you the last time I get really scary when I'm drugged."

"I'll keep that in mind," Bracket frowned.

In the hall way Mike approached John and Roy with his jacket in his hand, "How is she? Do they know what the problem is yet?"

"Bracket's in with her now, they should know something soon," John answered. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine," Mike looked confused as to why they were asking but really he knew.

"What do ya say we go get a cup of coffee while we're waiting," Roy suggested as he gave Mike a friendly slap on the shoulder.

00000

The engine backed into the station and two men hurried to the common room to rewarm and finish their dinner. The smell of the food at Mike's place had nearly driven them mad. Captain Stanley however took his time to fold his turn out coat and place it in its ready position and as he did he watched his third man slowly meander to the back of the engine and after peaking out on the other side and seeing his captain still there, sat of the back of the engine.

"Chet, could I see you in my office." Captain Stanley called and then watched to see how he responded. When he caught sight of him slowly walking across the bay with his head hung low and his shoulders slumped, Hank made his way to his office and even though Chet had gotten a good head start Hank easily beat him there.

Once he motioned Chet into the office Chet walked in and sat in the nearest chair his gaze fixed on his feet.

"I guess I should apply for a transfer or doesn't any one else want me around either?"

There was only one thing left to do. Hank walked across his office and pulled a well read book from the book shelf on top of the file cabinet and turned offering it to Chet.

"I think once you've read chapter 23 you'll understand why we hesitated to show it to you, but you also need to read chapter 24 and then you and I will sit down and have a little conversation. I suggest you stay here in the office I'll go bring you your dinner."


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

Chet watched as his captain stepped out of the room and pulled the door closed behind him. He was alone, alone with a book he had been denied on several occasions. Chet looked at the closed door for some time and when his captain returned he was still sitting with the unopened book in his hands looking at the closed door.

Captain Stanley placed the plate filled with food on the desk in front of his man before sitting in another chair with his own plate of food.

"Do you need some help finding the chapter?" Hank asked noticing the book still closed in Chet's hand.

"No, I can do it." Chet responded to his Captain's verbal nudging and opened up the book flipping through the pages with his thumb in search of the chapter number 23. The first page was nearly completely colored in pink high lighter with several sections under lined in black pen. The title of the chapter in large print across the top of the page read, **Every Balanced Team Needs a Court Jester**, and in pen the name Chester was written above the word Jester.

Chet paused in his reading and looked up at his captain in confusion. Hank responded by reaching out and placing a fork in Chet's hand and closing his fingers around it. "I know you can eat and read at the same time because I've seen you do it before."

Chet took a bit of his cooling dinner and turned his attention to the first paragraph on the page.

If you don't have at least one team member who is obnoxious, annoying, irritating, and incites homicidal tendencies in the other team members on occasion, then find one, quickly. Because there will be times that such a person, if they display proper self control and understanding of their crafts, (the part between the comas was not only highlighted but underlined in pen, twice.) will be the most valued member of your team and the only one capable of helping the other team members to keep their wits about them and create the break from the trials that are pushing them to the edge of their ability to move on.

After reading that paragraph Chet looked up at his captain with tears in his eyes and no ability to speak.

"Remember you promised me you'd read both chapters," Hank nudged his man forward.

00000

At the hospital Dr. Bracket walks into the treatment room studying lab results. When he enters he finds the room dark and a sleeping Laura Elmer with the head of the bed raised slightly, the nurse checking vital signs again.

"Her pulse is down to 60, BP is 90 over 48, they do come up when she's awake and I have been able to wake her up with verbal stimuli," The nurse reported.

"She's been fighting with an extreme case of exhaustion for some time. But those numbers still concern me and so do these," Bracket motioned toward the lab results. "Let's get her a room upstairs, she's going to be with us for a few days."

Bracket was sitting under the light in the corner writing orders when Dixie walked in. After pulling the blanket up around Laura better and looking at her for a moment she walked over to Dr. Bracket and spoke quietly. "There's a worried fireman outside who would very much like to know how Miss Elmer is doing."

"You wouldn't be talking about Mike would you," Laura rolled her head and revealed that she was much more aware of what was going on around her than anyone had before realized before opening her eyes.

"The very same," Dixie smiled and made her way back to Laura's side. "You frightened him when he couldn't wake you up for the dinner he had prepared for you."

"Yeah, sorry about that," Laura let out a breath and took in the different medications and bags hung over her head, "What time is it?"

"It's a little after ten," Dix answered.

"I guess I better see him so he can go home and get some sleep." Laura moved to adjust her position and Dixie helped her to fluff up her pillow a little.

"We can let him visit for a moment once we've gotten you settled into your room." Bracket suggested.

"No, it would be better if he saw me here," Laura challenged, "I may need your help untying the life line he's attached to me."

"I think he just likes you and wants to help you out." Dixie defended Mike.

"It's better for him if he doesn't; we both have our own emotional healing to do before either of us are ready for any kind of a relationship."

When Mike entered the treatment room, having been explained that Laura was stable but would need to spend a few days in the hospital, he was alarmed by the number of IV bags hanging over her head. Even with his limited knowledge of medicine he knew what some of the different drugs were for and recognized the plasma, and platelets hanging.

"Hi there," Laura opened her eyes and turned her head toward the open door. "How are you doing?"

"How am I doing? I'm not the one being admitted to the hospital," Mike questioned.

"Yea, I guess that last antibiotic didn't agree with me," Laura played down what had happened. "I'm going to be alright now though and Doc here is going to make sure I get plenty of rest. Aren't you Doc?"

"That's my plan," Bracket responded trying to understand what was going on between his patient and her visitor.

"Are you going to have to operate?" Mike asked his concern showing.

"Not yet at least, I'm still hoping things will take care of themselves if we can keep her down and quiet. We'll know more in a couple of days."

"Hey, don't worry about me, I've been in worse predicaments than this and made it through alright," Laura reached up and swatted Mike's arm. Then the orderlies came in with a gurney to transport Laura to her room. Mike helped them move her across to the gurney and watched with concern as they rolled her away.

"She's going to be alright," Dr. Bracket comforted, "her biggest problem is that she's way over due for some serious rest and relaxation."

Mike nod his head and studied the doctor over. "If she needs anything,"

"We'll give you a call." Dr. Bracket finished his sentence. "You best go on home and get some rest yourself."

00000

Back at the fire station Chet was still in the Captain's office. The dinner plates had been taken back to the kitchen and a well read book was now being closed and thoughtfully placed on the desk as one Chester B. Kelly was in deep thought about what he had read.

Hank sat quietly across the office quietly reading his own book and looked up just as Chet leaned back in his chair. Seeing that his man was deep in thought he chose to fold his arms across his chest and wait for Chet to break the silence.

"The reason no one wanted me to read this is because they're afraid I would go crazy on the practical jokes isn't it?" Chet finally spoke still distracted by his own thoughts.

"That would be the reason," Hank answered then waited for Chet to reveal his next thoughts.

"I never thought of my pranks as being anything more than just fun and games." Chet was still distracted in deep thought. "Does the next book go into more details?"

"I can't answer that yet, I still haven't finished it." Hank gestured with the paperback copy of 'Never too Strong to Crumble', "This book is a lot darker than the one you've been reading. I've had to read it in small sections at a time. It still has a lot of really good information in it but I'm not even half way through it yet."

There was another long moment of silence in the office as the rest of the crew could be heard laughing at a television show they were watching in the common room.

"I feel like I've been paid a great compliment Cap, and I want to thank you," Chet broke the silence again now more focused on the person he was talking to and not so much on his own thoughts. "But it's also a lot of responsibility and I'm not sure I understand all the rules."

"Did you understand the levels classifications on jokes?" Hank started to quiz.

"I think so, but I'd sure like it if she went in to greater detail."

"Maybe you could make a request for her next book," Hank joked.

"I don't know, Mike might get jealous," Chet joked back.

"I want you to understand a few things." Hank leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees. "I will not tolerate any pranks over a level three here at the station."

"Cap I'd never do anything if I thought there was any chance of anyone getting hurt."

"I still reserve the right to assign you Latrine duty or any other discipline I feel appropriate if I think you're getting out of hand."

"Understood," Chet sighed, "I do tend to be a bit of a joking bully sometimes don't I?"

"At times you do carry on too far." Hank agreed. "Try picking on someone other than Gage once in a while."

"I'll do that sir."

"One more thing," Hank sat up straight and looked very serious. "Chief Jenner will be here next shift to present Mike's father's commendation to Mike, his Mom and his sisters. Absolutely none and I mean zero, zilch, nada jokes until after the chief and all of our guests have left."

"Yes sir, no jokes next shift. I think I need to buy me a copy of that book and study up a little more so I know better when and when not to pull a prank."

"That might be a good idea," Hank responded and then a smile grew on his face. "In fact one prank I will permit next shift is for you to report for duty reading that book in front of your crew mates."

Chet smirked at the Captain's suggestion. "I won't need to play any jokes once they see me reading that book they'll be so sure I'm going to that will be a joke in its self."

00000

After a few short hours of sleep on the sofa in his office Dr. Bracket made his hospital rounds. Hoping for the rest of the lab results he had ordered the night before he made the room of Laura Elmer his first stop.

Gathering up her chart at the nurse's station Dr. Bracket started reading the newest test results as he walked the short distance to his patient's room pausing at the door as he finished reading. Pushing the door open a few inches Bracket could hear a voice coming from the room. Listening carefully he heard the unmistakable cadence of someone doing CPR. In an instant panic Bracket shoved the door open quickly and raced in only to find Laura tossing and turning in her sleep.

"NO, no don't stop," Laura was breathing very fast and tears were falling down the side of her face and she squirmed in her bed. "No, let me go, we can't quit, he's my brother, let me go. We got to save him. Can't let him die, let me go."

"Miss Elmer, Laura," Bracket called as soothingly as he could manage as he took hold of Laura's good shoulder and gave a gentle shake.

"NO!" Laura sat up straight and her eyes saw Bracket and she realized she had been talking in her sleep. She also remembered what she had been dreaming about.

Laying back against her pillow she turned away from the Dr. to regain her composure. Dr. Bracket sat at the foot of her bed and waited for her to be ready to turn back toward him.

"That was some night mare," Dr. Bracket commented when Laura was finally able to wipe her eyes and turn to face him. "From what I over heard it has something to do with your brother."

Laura nod her head and sniffled a little. "The last attempt at suicide he injected himself with an over dose of something, if they ever figured out what it was they never told me. I thought he was taking a bath. After an hour and a half of CPR and counter shocks and appropriate drugs the local doctor called it, but I couldn't just walk away, I, a, I kinda lost it. It took four of their largest orderlies to pull me away from my brother's body and then they sedated me."

Dr. Bracket reached out and rests his hand on Laura's arm.

"When I finally woke up enough to figure out where I was I was in restraints." Laura ended her story. "They claim I attempted suicide myself but I don't remember anything about it."

Bracket remained silent hoping Laura would talk more.

"So what do the lab results say this morning?"

"Well your white count is down and your platelet count is up. Several of the other results are floating around the low normal. I think we're on the right track as far as your physical health goes."

"But you're going to give me a second opinion on my mental health and you agree with my diagnosis that I'm a mess?"

"We do still have a magnificent Psychiatrics department."

"You mean they haven't up and moved away since the last time I was in the hospital?" Laura joked. "Sure I'll talk with someone it just might help."

Later that day, Mike walked in to the emergency department and up to Dixie McCall and waited for her to finish giving instructions to one of her nurses before she turned her attention to him.

"What can I do for you Mike Stoker?" she noticed that he had a duffle bag slung over his shoulder.

"I was bringing Laura her bag, it was left in my truck but they are telling me that she's not allowed any visitors." Mike explained to Dixie. "I thought that maybe you could see to it that it got to her. I did her laundry while I was doing mine."

"That's sweet of you. Hold on a second. " Dixie then asked one of her nurses to cover the front desk while she checked on a patient before turning to Mike and saying, "Come with me."

While they were in the elevator Dixie explained. "The Dr. wants her to get as much sleep as she can so if she's sleeping we'll just have to let her be but if she's awake I can let you visit with her for a few minutes."

"Thanks Dix." Mike smiled.

When they approached Laura's room Dixie held up one finger to Mike as she opened the door a crack to peak in.

"Are you up for a visitor?" Dixie asked when she saw Laura was awake.

"As long as it's not another autograph hound," Laura answered before she pushed the control button on her bed to raise the head a little higher.

Dixie opened the door a little wider and motioned for Mike to enter. "Now I'll leave you two alone as long as you promise not to stay too long."

"I will," Mike answered and carried Laura's bag through the door and then stood in the middle of the room as Dixie pulled the door shut behind her.

"Haven't you had enough of me yet?" Laura joked when Mike turned around to face her.

Mike shook his head and smiled. "You're looking better."

"The lab work agrees with you," Laura commented. "So when is the big day?"

"The big day?"

"When they're going to present your Dad's commendation," Laura clarified.

"Oh that, a day after tomorrow around eleven hundred hours, depending on weather or not we get a call."

"Make the most of it, Remember your Dad and that he loved you," Laura counseled.

"I will, I'm looking forward to showing my Mom around the station." Mike moved into the room and sat on the foot of Laura's bed.

"Make sure she gets the chance to hear the hat," Laura gave him a warm smile.

"I will," Mike smiled back.

"Don't forget you have a lot of friends at the station that will be more than happy to listen to you."

"Yeah, but none of them read my mind like you can."

"You'll be surprised," Laura challenged.

Mike kept his promise to not stay long and made another attempt to see her the next day only to find that she was sleeping so he only tiptoed in and sat the vase of flowers next to her bed then left again.

The next morning he arrived for work nearly an hour early and sat in his truck listening to his radio and smiled as he waited for Captain Stanley to pull in.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

When Hank pulled into the parking lot he was quick to notice Mike's truck. As he pulled into the stall next to him he took in the dress uniform hanging in the back window and could see that Mike was turned sideways behind the steering wheel resting his head against the door frame. He could hear a faint hint of music coming from Mike's truck and could see him waving his hands to the beat of the music.

Smiling Hank got out of his car and as he shut his car door Mike jumped and turned around to see where the sound had come from. Seeing his captain Mike waved then turned off his radio and grabbed for his uniforms before pushing his door open and getting out.

"You're here early this morning," Hank called his smile carrying over to his voice.

"Yeah, I thought I'd stop in and visit Laura before I came to work but I was told that she had been sleep walking early this morning so the Doctor on call ordered a sedative to knock her out and she has a 'do not disturb order' until she sleeps it off."

"How is she doing?"

"Improving nicely according to Dix," Mike reported as he walked in along side his Captain. "Dix also said that she's been talking to a shrink about some of the nightmares she's been having and I guess that's been opening up some pretty rough memories."

"After reading the first few chapters of that last book of her's I can believe it." Hank reported as he opened the door to the station and held it for his engineer to walk through with his load of dry cleaning. "When is your family going to arrive today?"

"I was told that Chief Jenner would be here at 1100 hours. My Mom and youngest sister plan to be here around 10 to get a tour of the station but my sister who just had her baby and her husband will come closer to 11."

"So your sister finally had her baby," Hank smiled, "Does that mean we won't be getting any more of those calls around dinner time, asking you to refresh your brother-in-laws memory on emergency child birth procedures?"

"I don't think so. When the time finally came the only thing he could do was pull his hair out and hyperventilate." Mike chuckled at the memory, "It's a good thing Laura was there, it turned out to be kind of a tricky delivery, and then we had trouble getting the baby to start breathing on its own."

"It sounds like you had a very exciting few days off. Delivering a baby and then rescuing nearly 120 teenagers from a wrecked bus," Hank revealed he knew about Mike's activities, "And then dealing with Laura that night at your apartment. Did they decide what the problem was?"

"Some kind of reaction to the antibiotics, they think," Mike sighed, "She really needs this rest she's getting I think it's a good thing that they finally knocked her out."

"You look a hundred percent better than you did the last shift you worked." Hank spoke to the fireman with his dry cleaning flung over his shoulder as they stood in the empty bay. Both the engine and the squad were on a run.

"Laura led me to all the answers I've been looking for and a whole lot more. Then she sat with me and my family and guided us as we talked out our feelings and got everything out in the open in a way that we never would have been able to do alone. I now know my Father died as a hero. But there's two things that I found out that have really brought me a feeling of peace."

"What are they?" Hank asked.

Mike's eyes grew moist but didn't leak as a warm peaceful smile graced his calm face. "My Dad died knowing that I'd be proud of him when I found out what he'd done and Randy let him wear his fireman's helmet once they were out of the hole. He looked like a grown up kid when they were loading him into that medical transport bus." Mike scoffed feeling the things that brought him peace would seem strange to his Captain. "It also helped to know that things were never as bad as I always thought they were."

Captain Stanley simply smiled at his friend and placed his hand on the engineer's uncovered shoulder. "It's good to have you back Mike; it is so good to have you back."

"Thanks Cap, for everything. For putting up with me and standing beside me all these months and for everything you've done."

"That's what Captains are for."

00000

Chet was parked across the road from the station where he knew no one would be looking as they headed in to work. He wanted to be the last one through the doors this morning to maximize his little approved joke. He knew the Captain was already at work he could see him through the office windows and from his parking place he could see that Stoker's truck was already behind the station.

Already in uniform Chet drummed on the dash board as he watched Marco pull into the parking lot and a few minutes later Roy and Johnny reached the drive and almost the same time. Chet turned on his ignition and gave himself two minutes before he maneuvered his van into the parking lot and pulled his copy of 'keep the rescuers rescuing' and opening it up kept his eye's fixed on the pages as he walked into the locker room.

"Hi guy's," Chet said not taking his eyes from the book but out of the corner of his eye he greatly enjoyed the surprised and horror struck expressions on the faces of Roy and Marco but most of all Johnny. Chet opened his locker and tossed in his duffel bag never once taking his eyes out of the book then walked back out of the locker room, "See you at roll call."

Standing just out of sight Chet listened to the commotion in the wake of his departure.

"Man, are we in for it," Marco exclaimed.

"Yea, especially after how we laid it on him last shift." Roy sighed as he leaned against his locker door.

"What are you guys worried about," Johnny groaned, "I'm his favorite pigeon."

"He's got a point there," Roy looked to Marco, "Now what are we going to do?"

"John, if I were you I'd go ask Cap if you can start your vacation," Marco advised.

"Some how I don't think two weeks would be enough to save him from Chet," Roy let out a deep breath of concern.

"Me either," Johnny admitted.

Chet held his hand over his mouth to make sure no one heard him snicker and then turned his attention back to the book and made his way into the common room for the last pigeon.

In the common room Mike was sitting at the table with a sewing kit sewing a button on his dress jacket when Chet walked in.

"Hi Chet," Mike managed after Chet had sat at the table.

"Today's gonna be a big day for you isn't it." Chet figured out his friend's distraction. "Is Miss Elmer going to be here for the event?"

"No, she's still in the hospital." Mike answered as he checked the rest of his buttons to see if any of them were loose.

"How long's she gonna have to stay there?" Chet felt a little concern.

"I'm not sure, but Dixie was saying that she's improving so hopefully she'll be out in a day or two." Mike reported as he put his sewing kit away.

"That's good," Chet responded and thought about asking if Mike would get her autograph for him but chose not to at the time. Like his other crewmates that had read her work he was amazed at how well this woman named Laura Elmer found the words to explain how he felt at the end of a hard rescue especially when fatalities were involved. Even thought he wasn't finished with the book he felt comforted by the suggestions he had been reading to make things better and to help him cope.

Chet also felt a great weight on his shoulders as the team's court jester and wanted to understand how he could fill his roll to the best of his ability. But right then he was having fun watching the reaction of his crewmates as they saw what he was reading. Mike however was a different story he could clearly not care in the least what Chet was reading and somehow Chet thought he understood.

00000

Kell Bracket had drug his rounds out as long as he could but now there was only one patient left to check with. He had read her chart first thing this morning but once he learned that she had been sedated by the Dr. on call during the night he choose to wait to see her last. Laura Elmer had made it very clear that she didn't want to be sedated and as much as he had wanted to do it he had given in to her demands on the issue. Checking his watch he figured it would be at least another hour before she would be awake but he didn't have any other patients to see so He decided to stop in and check on her anyway.

Quietly opening the door he found the bed empty and stepped inside to investigate. On closer examination he found that not only wasn't Laura Elmer in her room, she had pulled all her IV's out. Bracket moved quickly to the nurse's station and called security.

"We have a missing patient from room 412, she's under the influence of sedatives and according to the nurses records she was last seen only ten minutes ago. Her camper was parked in the parking structure check it out, I want all the man power you can put on it." Bracket hung up the phone and began asking himself just what his patient had meant when she said she gets very scary on drugs. He really wanted to know more details about what happened after her brother had committed suicide.

00000

Back at the fire station the crew of 51 were adding the final spit shine to the station and Mike looked out of place among his crewmates because he was the only one in his dress uniform and everyone else was in their work uniform.

Mike had just finished polishing the front end of the engine when the station's door bell rang.

"Mike, your Mom and Sister are here." Captain Stanley called from his office before walking out into the bay leading the two women to see their son and brother.

Mike turned to his mother with a big smile on his face as he bent down to give her a hug before playfully slapping his sister on the shoulder.

The rest of the crew stowed their cleaning supplies and moved into place to meet Mike's family members.

"So when is Laura going to get here?" Sarah asked with a sly grin on her face.

"That does it," Mike shook his head, "Marco, Chet, Johnny, I'd like you to meet my sister. She's available. How would you three like to give her a tour of the station?"

Chet was the first to recover from the shock and placed his hand on the engine in front of Sarah, "Hi there, I'm Chet, what would you like to see first?"

Hank moved up to his engineer and quietly asked, "Are you sure you want to do that?"

"After the harassment she gave me last weekend she has it coming." Mike answered.

"If she goes out with one of them you are going to double date with them right," Mom wanted to know.

"I'll volunteer to drive." Mike answered and Captain Stanley joined him with a reserved snicker.

"So," Mike's Mom grinned with her arm around her son's waist as she gestured toward the fire engine, "is this my first grandchild?"

Everyone in the station chuckled but none more than Mike.

"I'm sure glad I didn't have to burp and change diapers on this one," Mike's Mom added before everyone had time to recover.

Mike just put his arm around his mother's shoulder and gave an affectionate squeeze, "You want to sit in the driver's seat?"

"I'm gonna need a step ladder."

Mike just moved over to the engine and opened the door before showing his mother where to place her feet to climb in and then climbed up next to her and stood just outside the door to point out the different knobs and levers and help her tighten the strap of his fire helmet on her head.

Hank watched the engineer and his mother as they turned on the sirens and blasted the air horn. He noticed the twinkle in the older woman's eyes and remembered the two things Mike had said brought him real peace.

Hank turned his attention to Mike's sister who wasn't enjoying herself nearly as much as her mother. Even the three Romeo's of the station were noticing how nervous she was and started backing off to give her some space as Johnny showed off the squad and told her about all the equipment they had on board. Sarah was at least pretending to be interested and even asked a couple of questions.

Everyone froze when the Klaxons sounded.

**Station 51 possible jumper Rampart General Hospital, report to Dr. Bracket. Repeat report to Dr. Bracket it's advised that you arrive non code R. time out 10:15**

Mike quickly lifted his mother down from the engine before kissing her cheek and telling her she and Sarah could wait in the kitchen. He then pulled his turn out coat on and climbed in behind the wheel and waited for his Captain to take his rightful seat.

"You know, If Laura's awake she might be a real help on this one," Mike mentioned as they pulled out of the station with the lights flashing and sirens blaring, he would turn those off when they were about a block away from the hospital.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

When the emergency vehicles pulled to a stop Dr. Morton was waiting for them, "Kell's waiting for you on the eighth floor. He'll be able to explain the situation to you when you get up there."

Both Marco and Chet had already pulled rope from the compartment and had them slung over their shoulders and so did Johnny as Roy grabbed three safety harnesses.

"Mike you stay with the engine and the squad in case we need anything." Captain Stanley ordered.

"No," Dr Morton interrupted. "Kell needs Mike up there. It's Laura Elmer out on the ledge we're hoping she'll listen to him and he can talk her in."

"Laura!" Mike exclaimed in sheer shock.

"Security can watch your equipment," Morton offered, "We need to hurry."

Six men and their equipment hurried into the hospital and a waiting elevator Hank kept his hand in the middle of Mike's back and the eyes of all the others were also on him. As everyone let out deep sighs and chewed on their lips while the elevator lifted them the eight floors to were the action waited for them.

When the elevator opened on the eighth floor Dr. Bracket was waiting for them. "This way fellas, She warned me several times not to sedate her because once she lost full mental control she got scary she said. Well sometime during the night shift the on call doctor did just what she's talked me out of doing and now I can see why she asked us not to.

Dixie was talking to her and it looked like she was going to be able to get her to come back in until she saw me then she moved to a place a lot riskier than she was. I'm hoping that the time you've spent with her would help her to respond to your voice." Bracket spoke directly to Mike Stoker.

"I'll go with him," Captain Stanley instructed. "Could I get a small pad of paper and a pen, and a warmed blanket?"

"What do you want that stuff for?" Bracket asked in total confusion.

"It's something from a book I'm reading." Stanley talked distractedly as he tightened the safety harness around his waist and hooked a life line in as he watched to make sure Mike was doing the same.

"This isn't a time to experiment with something you've read in a book we need to stick with what's worked in the past," Bracket admonished.

"Normally I'd agree with you, but she wrote the book, so this stuff has got to mean something to her. Trying to understand your jumper is part of what we've been taught to do." Stanley defended his position. "Can I get those things or not?"

Bracket nod his head and turned to a near by nurse, "Get the things he asked for."

The ledge out side the window was a good five feet wide except where the support beams attached the ledge to the building. Laura was resting against one of those support beams and sitting on a section of ledge that was less than twelve inches deep.

Mike made his move out the open window to see Dixie sitting on the ledge as close to Laura as she would let her get, hugging the out side of the wall talking to Laura.

"You've done a lot of good, for a lot of people, there are hundreds maybe even thousands of people out there that wouldn't be alive today if it weren't for you and the things you've done, it's the medication that's doing the talking now not you." Dixie rattled on as Laura sat perched precariously on the edge of the narrowest sections of overhang leaning back against a support structure, tears streaming down her face and a distant and glazed look in her eyes. Mike was sure she wasn't hearing anything that was being said to her.

Mike's first act was to take a good hold of Dixie's arm and pull her to her feet. As Dixie returned his grip taking a firm hold of his elbow Mike remembered the first day he met Laura. Captain Stanley was right behind him and quickly took over helping Dixie back to the open window where Kell Bracket was quick to help her inside while the remaining fire fighters held fast to the life lines two per each line.

"I think I've just realized that I have a fear of heights." Dixie huffed as she placed both hands on Dr. Bracket's shoulders as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and held on, watching out the window at what was going on out on the ledge. "She kept saying that her patients all died after she sent them off to the hospital. Then she just quit talking, she can't think straight and she's still groggy and pretty much out of it, if she falls back to sleep where she is now-"

"I know Dix, I know, it's up to the fire department now," Kell acknowledged.

"Laura, it's me Mike." Mike called as he moved carefully and slowly toward the girl on the ledge. Laura's tears continued to run down her face as her lips and her breathing quivered. As soon as Mike was close enough he reached out he asked, "Permission to hold your hand."

Laura made no response so Mike carefully slipped his hand under her fingers and wrapped his fingers around her hand. As he gave a gentle squeeze she squoose back and turned to look at him.

"M-Mike?" Laura looked at him as if she wasn't sure she knew who he was. Her pupils were obviously dilated and her eyes red from crying.

"Yeah, it's me, are you alright?"

"I, I, don't think so. Ca- can't think. Ca-can't wake up."

"You will be, trust me, you will be all right," Mike assured still holding her hand but very aware that if she did push herself over the edge that the hold he had would not be enough to keep her from hitting the ground eight stories down. "We're going to get you the help that you need and you will get through this."

"I will?"

"Of course you will," Captain Stanley entered into the conversation. "You've gotten through a lot worse than this remember." "You've even written a couple of books to help the rest of us."

"Digging out, have'ta, have'ta dig out," Laura nod her head and took a deep breath her eye lids fluttering as she fought against the sedatives. "got'a got'a be able to, to th-think strait. One step at a time."

"That's right; you're real good at digging out." Mike talked with new confidence feeling the odds were good that he and Cap were going to be able to talk her off the ledge. "Remember, you showed me and my whole family how to dig out of the pit we had been in for months."

"You let me help," Laura turned to look at Mike with her glazed eyes.

"We were all glad for your help." Mike added as he started to move his other hand hoping he could get it around her and pull her to a safer place on the ledge at least. "You helped us find peace again."

"Why wouldn't Gary let me help? Way couldn't he choose to live?"

"Gary, he was your brother, right?" Mike questioned.

"My Brother, he's, he's dead, they made me stop, stop CPR, made me s-stop." Her eyes fluttered closed for an instant and her head dropped before she jerked herself awake again.

"We've got to get her off that narrow section," Captain Stanley whispered in Mike's ear.

"You did everything you could," Mike tried to comfort while nodding to acknowledging his Captain; "It wasn't your fault." He slipped his hand around her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.

"Let's move you to someplace a little safer." Mike continued to talk as he let go of her hand and slipped his hand under her knees. The job of taking a firm hold on Laura was made more difficult because she was sitting with her feet dangling over the edge but Mike did the best he could. As he lifted her closer to him he felt comforted as she let him pull her close and rested her head on his shoulder. "Everything's going to be alright, you're going to be alright. Let's just move you back over here."

Captain Stanley took a hold of Mike's arm with one of his and his safety belt with the other hand and steadied him pulling him to the deeper section of the ledge as he pulled Laura. The four men inside holding tight on the ropes keeping the ropes taught.

"What da ya say we get you inside now." Captain Stanley spoke with a sigh of relief thinking they had broken through to her.

"NO!" Laura pushed away from Mike and he realized even more just how inadequate his hold on her had been as he moved to corral her in the deepest part of the ledge and watched as she pulled her knees up against her chest and melted into the corner where the support beam met the building.

"It's okay, you're alright, take it easy," Mike spoke a calm mantra, "You're going to be alright, we're not going to hurt you."

"Can- can't go back in, th- they'll give me more dr- drugs, got'a stay, stay here." Laura trembled in fear as she pulled as deeply into the corner as the concrete structure would allow.

"It's okay nobody's going to hurt you." Mike began once again to build trust in Laura, "I think they understand now that that's not a good idea."

"Psst, Psst," they heard from the open window and Captain Stanley responded as Mike kept his eyes fixed on Laura. Dr. Brackett was handing the warmed blanket out the window.

Captain Stanley mad he way back to the open window and retrieved the blanket but when Dr. Brackett started to pass the paper and pen to him he shook his head, "She's to out of it for that."

Carrying the blanket back to Mike and Laura he noticed that Mike had once again slipped his fingers under Laura's hand and she was returning his gentle squeeze.

"Here's a nice warm blanket," Cap said as he carefully moved it between Mike and Laura as Mike worked his arm around her shoulders once again, pulling the blanket around her as he did. Pulling her close to him again he coaxed her to rest her head on his shoulder once again and held her rocking back and forth as her eyes gave in to the sedatives. When Laura began to snuggle into Mike's shoulder and reached over with her hand and took a hold of his uniform collar Mike gave his Captain a nod and once again moved his other arm under her knees and lifted as the Captain helped him to his feet.

As Mike walked along the ledge back to the open window he rest his cheek on the top of Laura's head and repeated the quiet mantra, "It's going to be all right, you're going to be all right,"

As Mike got closer to the open window Captain Stanley moved into position to help hold Laura and together they started handing Laura through the open window feet first.

From the inside Dr. Bracket reached out to help in the process but as soon as he took hold of Laura's feet her eyes flew open again in panic when she saw Dr. Bracket. Laura planted a foot in Dr. Bracket's chest and with all her might gave a shove that sent him flying backwards past the other firemen knocking them off their footing as well as shoving Mike and the Captain back against the edge and open air.

The four firemen on the inside held tight to their ropes as they pulled themselves back to their feet where they got a view that shifted their stomachs up to their throats. Captain Stanley and Mike were leaning against the rope half over the edge of the ledge and both totally off balance. Captain Stanley was starting to pull against the rope to regain his footing but Mike's arms were full with Laura and he was holding his breath in hope that Laura wouldn't fight him or that no one would let go of the rope that was the only thing keeping both he and Laura from a fall that would surely mean their death.

_(Author's note: for all of you that love cliff hangers, I was real tempted to stop right here but I really want to finish this story. It already has twice as many chapters than I planned when I started it.)_

As the firemen pulled inch by inch pulling their comrades to safety Dixie helped Dr. Bracket up from the floor and checked him for injury.

"Doc, you better get out of here before someone gets killed." Johnny grunted quietly but sternly as he pulled on the rope.

Once Captain Stanley was secure on his feet he took hold of Mike's rope and helped to pull him toward safety, once he was sure all was well he let go of the rope and took hold of Mike's arm and put his other arm around his back to pull him forward. Pleased to not see the doctor any longer they again lifted Laura through the open window feet first but this time Roy and Johnny took her from the inside being careful to stay at her side as they mimicked the mantra that Mike was chanting.

Once they had taken all of Laura's weight from Mike, Marco moved to roll the gurney under their patient as Chet helped Mike and then Cap through the window to the inside. While Cap unbuckled his safety harness Mike hurried to Laura's side where he reclaimed her hand and continued his Mantra that everything was going to be alright. John and Roy tightened the gurney straps around Laura and then looked up for someone to give them directions as to what to do next.

"Do you fellas think you could get her back to her room?" Dixie poked her head around the corner of the hall way not wanting to agitate the patient again.

"Sure, what room?" Roy questioned.

"I know where it's at." Mike injected as he reached with one hand to untie his life line while maintaining his hold on Laura's hand.

Four firemen moved a gurney behind Mike's lead as Chet and Marco stayed behind to coil the ropes and gather up the safety harnesses. Dixie and Dr. Bracket followed along at a distance to avoid agitating their patient. Dr. Bracket was guarding his chest as he walked occasionally leaning against the wall, something that wasn't missed by the two paramedics and Dixie.

As they guided the gurney into the room and worked together to transfer her into the bed Dr. Bracket leaned against the wall outside the room and started barking out orders, "I want someone in the room with her every minute until those drugs are completely out of her system. Let's not worry about restarting the IV's just yet we'll wait until she's completely awake and talk to her about her options. We'll use restraints only as a last recourse. What ever we do, no more sedatives, under any circumstances! We might not be so lucky next time."

Mike and Captain Stanley remained in Laura's hospital room after John and Roy left to check on Dr. Bracket. Now that Laura was in a hospital bed she was fitfully sleeping and fighting the sedatives once again. Hank searched his memory for something to help her relax and ended up taking an extra pillow from the closet in Laura's room and with some cord that he found on a shelf he tied it up so that it had a resemblance of a head and arms and tucked his make shift doll in bed with Laura. She did seem to calm down as she placed her hand on the dolls chest.

When a nurse came in the two firemen were asked to leave and Mike and Captain Stanley stepped out into the hall to find Marco and Chet standing with the ropes and harnesses about their shoulders. Roy and John were watching over a wheelchair that held Dr. Bracket while Dixie was on the phone making arraignments for him to be taken for a chest x-ray.

"Mike," Dr. Bracket called for his attention once he exited the hospital room, "I know you've only known Miss Elmer for a few days but she called out a few names today and it would be helpful for us if we knew who these people are. I know that Gary was her brother but who was Scott?"

"Um, Her husband," Mike answered feeling uncomfortable sharing her information.

"She's married?" Brackett questioned in surprise.

"a, Divorced," Mike clarified.

"Do you know how long ago the divorce took place?"

"I'm not sure." Mike answered then searched the eyes of his shift mates looking for their reactions.

"Do you know where this Scott can be found?" Dr. Bracket inquired further.

"I have no idea."

There was a moment of silence before Captain Stanley clapped his hands together. "Well Doc if you don't need us any further we best be getting back to the station."

Before they left the hospital Mike begged permission to spend a moment in the hospital gift shop where he purchased a Teddy bear that had the sound of a beating heart with in it and had it delivered to Laura's room to replace the tied up pillow.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter 20

The ride back to the station was a quiet one. Hank watched his engineer carefully as he drove and it was clear that he was in deep thought. What Hank didn't know for sure was if the silence of his Engineer was due to the upcoming presentation that was bound to be emotional or the rescue they had just finished or both.

After the equipment was backed into the bay the doors of the engine were opened and a very unfamiliar sound was heard from the day room, the sound of a crying baby.

Mike paused with one hand on the open engine door and sighed. Turning back to his captain Mike had moist eyes and a warm smile. "Do you think Chief Jenner is here yet, it sounds like someone isn't very happy?"

"I'll go check," Hank answered with his own smile and climbed down from the cab of the engine and headed toward the office.

Every one else made their way toward the new sound in the station and found one tiny boy getting his diaper changed and as soon as that task was completed the young man was much happier. When the high Chief could not be found in the station Captain Stanley joined his men in the day room to meet Mike's other sister and brother-in-law as well as the newest member of the family.

Once the introductions were made everyone turned their attention to the little guy in Mellissa's arms.

"Uncle Mikey here helped deliver this little guy." Marty bragged for his quiet brother-in-law as he put one arm around his wife and offered his infant son a finger of his other hand.

"You did?" Johnny smiled at the engineer, "Hey that's great, it looks like you did a good job."

"All I did was follow the Nurse's instructions." Mike smiled as he put his arm around his mother and watched everyone play with the baby.

"So Laura was the one in charge," Roy commented.

"Yes she was," Mike's Mom added, "We were very lucky that she was there, we could have lost them both."

"Things did get a little scary there for a few minutes," Mike admitted. "But Laura knew just what to do to get this little guy breathing."

"I just heard the back door," Marco spoke with alarm, and everyone in a uniform jumped to attention.

"This is it," Captain Stanley spoke as he started ushering everyone out into the bay with a friendly smile on his face. As Mike walked past he gave him a gentle slap on the shoulder and then filed in behind him.

The six firefighters lined up at attention and again Mike still stood out being the only one in his dress uniform.

Marty quickly took the baby from his wife as she joined her sister at their mother's side. Marty took up a dancing sway with the baby in his arms just a few feet away.

Captain Stanley appropriately greeted Chief Jenner and shook hands before introducing each of his men one at a time.

"And I will let Stoker here introduce our distinguished guests." Hank motioned toward Mike's family.

Mike ceremoniously stepped over to his family and started introductions. "This is My Mother, Elaine Stoker, My sister Sarah Stoker, My other sister Mellissa Stoker Phillips her husband Martin J. Phillips and their son Jaron Martin Phillips.

Chief Jenner respectfully shook hands with everyone but Marty, whose hands were full, oh yea and young Jaron, he was asleep. Mike then took up a position behind his mother and between his two sisters standing at attention as best he could and still reach out and place a supportive hand on his mother's shoulder while his two sisters held tight to her hands, as Chief Jenner squared his shoulders in front of them and began:

"Ma'am, we are here today to posthumously present this award of commendation for the services performed by Michael Jaron Stocker Sr. Structural Engineer, in going above and beyond the duty for which he was recruited and performing services that led to the extrication and life saving measures for thirty-eight victims trapped after an apartment explosion. It is our regret that the injuries he received in performing these services led to his death. I also humbly ask your apology for the untimely manner in which this award is being presented."

With the words said the letter of commendation mounted on a polished black maple plaque with the symbols of the state and fire department carved around its border, was ceremoniously presented and Elaine Stoker let go of her daughter's hands to accept her husband's commendation with trembling hands. After holding it out so that she could look it over herself she showed it to each of her children then pulled it close to her chest and wrapped her arms around it. When one of the Chief's assistants stepped forward with a folded American flag Elaine stepped aside and motioned with tear filled eyes for it to be given to her son and Mike accepted it in the honor it was intended.

All eyes in the room were moist even Chief Jenner was affected by the emotion around him, Mike freed one arm and bent down to give his mother a hug as his two sisters each wrapped their arms around both of them.

When they pulled apart again and were looking at each other with warm smiles in spite of their tears the Chief cleared his throat.

"As long as we are gathered here today I believe it would be as good a time as any to award two more commendations."

Chief Jenner turned to accept a collection of papers from his assistant and then turned back to the Stoker family huddle. "Both of these commendations are awarded to Michael Jaron Stoker Jr. One is to commend him for the efforts he put forth at great personal risk to extricate four victims from a mud slide. According to our records he was off duty at the time and still responded to the call for help. The second commendation is in response to the many letters sent to my attention from twenty three of the students, fireman Stoker removed from an overturned School bus last week. He is to be commended for his gentleness and the professional manner in which he cared for these students who were frightened and some of them severely injured. I will add that there were also numerous comments about his muscular appearance and good looks, and yes most of the letters were written by young ladies." Everyone in the room gave a chuckle and smiled in Mike's direction. Mike was turning quite red faced. "I also pass along one certificate received in the mail that declares Fireman Stoker the 'Ultimate Super Hero'."

Elaine Stoker again stepped aside and placing her hand behind her son pulled him forward as he handed the flag he was still holding to his sister and accepted the congratulatory hand shake and commendations along with the original letters from Chief Jenner.

Mike's mother tearfully wrapped her arms around his waist still holding her husband's plaque and rested her head on his chest as Captain Stanley stepped forward.

"On behalf of Station 51's A shift I also congratulate you on your great work." Mike managed so shift his stack of papers to the hand that was draped around his mother's shoulders and shake hands with his Captain and Friend.

As Mike's sisters moved in to offer their congratulations and get a look at his papers the Captain turned to face the high Chief. "Would you like to inspect the station while you are here?"

"There's no need for an inspection, I have no doubt that you have this place in tip top shape for such an occasion, I would like a cup of coffee if I may."

"Absolutely, right this way," Captain Stanley guided his leader to the common room and the remaining four shift mates converged on Mike to shake his hand and offer their congratulations.

Everyone was moving toward the common room when the alarm sounded joined by the startled cry from young Jaron.

The call was for an unknown type rescue for the squad only and as Roy flipped on the sirens before driving off, the infant in Marty's arms was even more emotionally traumatized.

00000

Laura's first conscious awareness was of the sound of a heart beat other than her own. Focusing on the sound she could feel the rhythmic thump under her fingers as she moved them across the hairy chest. Startled at the thought that she was sleeping with someone she opened her eyes to take in the Teddy Bear tucked under her hand. Carefully rolling over Laura realized she was still in her hospital bed but she no longer hooked up to the multiple IV's she last remembered.

In a chair next to the bed sat a strange looking doll made by tying up a pillow, the kind her grandmother had made for her when her mother died, the same kind she had made to comfort children and a few rescue workers in Indonesia. Who ever made that doll was very likely someone who had read her latest book and since it wasn't scheduled to be on the book store shelves for another week the list of suspects was short. Since she was sure her publicist hadn't even opened the cover to read her autograph, that left Captain Stanley of Fire Station 51.

"You're awake," the nurse in the room commented in a cheery voice as she moved in to check a pulse, "How are you feeling?"

For the first time since she'd opened her eyes Laura focused on her own body and trying to decide just how she was feeling. The shoulder didn't hurt as much as she last remembered, neither did her back. There was a strange fuzziness to her focus, it only took her a moment to figure out what it was, A drug hangover.

"It feels like somebody got the bright idea to make sure I got some sleep." Laura answered as she sat up in the bed noticing the bed rails in the up position and the magazine laid open on the bed side table, a tell tail sign that the nurse had been assigned to stay with her at all times. "What did I do this time?"

00000

Back at the station Mike's sister and her husband had their hands full settling down young Jaron and most of the firefighters were clueless as to how to help. Surprisingly it was Captain Stanley's quiet singing of 'Daddy's gona buy you a Mocking bird,' that grew quieter the less the baby cried that seemed to do the trick.

Melissa being a new mother was very rattled and embarrassed about her baby disrupting the station and being unable to calm him herself. She and her husband quickly decided that they better get the baby out of there before another call came in. Grandma realized her daughter's need for a calming presents and left with her but not before placing the folded flag back in her sons arms and placed his hands around it. The two shared teary smiles and a warm hug and then his mom left Sarah right on her heals.

Mike snickered as he watched his youngest sister's quick retreat and only hoped she had learned her lesson about medaling in his love life. He then turned his attention to the flag in his arms and cradled it tighter allowing his tears to fall but keeping his back to his shift mates.

"I think I'll go change into my work uniform now." Mike said before making his exit but everyone noticed how he hid his face from them as he turned to leave.

"Does that young man need some time off?" Chief Jenner questioned.

"I'll give him a minute then go and find out," Captain Stanley responded hoping the Chief would leave it in his hands. "The last six months have been really hard on him but he managed to meet one of the worlds leading authorities on the mental health of rescue workers and she has really helped him."

"That wouldn't by any chance be the same person who smacked my up the side of the head with a coloring book was it." Chief Jenner grimaced.

"A, Yeah," Cap answered feeling somewhat relieved that Laura had no ties with the fire department.

"I must admit what she said that day made a lot of sense, there is no good reason for him to have to wait this long to get the information we had for him; if this sort of thing ever happens again to hell with chain of command and just come straight to me."

"I'll do that sir."

00000

In the corridor outside Laura's hospital room Kel Bracket was walking slowly and holding his taped up bruised ribs. Pausing outside the door before entering he decided to send Dixie in first to make sure it was safe for him to enter.

"Get in here Bracket," Laura yelled from her bed. Bracket complied.

"No one will tell me what's going on here or what I did," Laura continued after Bracket stepped through the door. "They say you have to be the one to tell me so start talking!"

Bracket winced and offered an attempt of a grin, "What is the last thing you remember?"

"Being woke up in one of the patients rooms, I was checking a pulse, the doctor that was there didn't appreciate my help. He ordered the nurse to take me back to my room and keep me there."

"No he was a little concerned by another patient doing rounds in her sleep while walking her IV pole, He didn't know about your credentials and experience."

"Or my instructions to avoid sedatives," Laura added with a hint of annoyance in her voice.

"No, he had no knowledge of those instructions." Bracket admitted while scrunching the muscles on one side of his face.

"The problem is that when my mental stress levels are at the critical level all sedatives do is let my nightmares and the horrors of the field work take over with all the rational control gone. So what did my nightmares lead me to do this time?"

"You crawled out a window on the eighth floor; we had to call the fire department to pull you in off the ledge."

"Station 51?"

"Yes, we hoped that your friendship with Mike would make it possible for him to talk you in, and I'll add it seemed to work." "How did you know? Do you remember them helping you in?"

"No,," Laura turned away from her doctor and looked at the make sift doll still sitting in the chair then picked up the Teddy Bear and set it on her raised knees. "I just know that whoever was there has at least read my philosophy on teddy bears. It wasn't hard to narrow the list down."

"Mike Stoker?" Dr. Bracket asked with a smile.

"NO, Captain Stanley. He's a student of mine; He could teach you a thing or two."

"He could, could he?"

"He understands the concept and effects of negative Teddy Bears. Mike may have talked me in but I bet he came along. Is that normal for the captain to go out on a ledge like that?"

"I wouldn't know anything about that," Bracket confessed. "Just what is this about negative Teddy Bears?"

"It's a thirty eight page chapter and like I said, Captain Stanley could teach you a thing or two. If I don't need the IV's any more than we should be talking about me getting out of here."

00000

Mike sat on the running board of the engine with a polishing cloth working on the same hose nozzle for the last thirty minutes before Captain Stanley moved in and sat next to him.

"How's it going there?"

Mike turned and looked at his captain. "It's a whole lot to think about today." He turned away and stared at the squad in front of him. "On that ledge this morning-" Mike paused in frustration, searching for the right words.

"You did all the right things; you got her off the ledge alive and well." Hank tried to put his man at ease.

"I just did what she did for me." "That first day we met she sat where you are right now and asked permission to hold my hand." Mike paused again looking at his own hand. "This morning on that ledge I realized just how close I was to loosing it. It feels like I was a whole other person when I think about it."

"You were," Hank placed his hand on Mike's shoulder.

Mike turned and looked at his captain once again. "That day we were driving around gathering information, I felt like she was reading my mind. I even got a little mean with her but she just kept saying all the right things to put me back together."

"She understands people like us."

"You mean rescue workers?" Mike smiled and leaned forward resting on his knees.

"According to her book we're a special breed of people with warped minds and big hearts that rule over common sense and give us the nerve to believe we can make a difference in the world." Hank quoted from chapter one of 'Keep the Rescuers rescuing'.

"Who's there for Laura? She shouldn't have to go through all this alone. She'd never sit by and let anyone else go it alone."

"We're all there for her." Hank took a stand.

"Cap, phone for you," Marco called from the common room.

Author's note: three children involved in multiple programs made for little to no computer privileges for mom but with one child gone to camp for ten days another off with his friends filming a movie and the third in summer school the next chapter will be much quicker in coming. This story has a life of its own but we're getting close to the end of this story I promise.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"Captain Stanley speaking," Hank answered the phone somewhat annoyed that the call had interrupted a meaningful conversation with his engineer.

"Miss Elmer!" He responded in surprise as everyone in the station gathered around him even Mike came on the run from the bay. "Okay Laura, how are you feeling?" "There's no reason to feel embarrassed and yes we were there." "No, no one got hurt, we're all fine." "We all understood that it was the drugs they'd given you, there's nothing to be ashamed of." "Just forget about it." "You don't remember anything? How did you know we were there?" While Captain Stanley was quiet for a while listening the door bell rang and Chet offered to answer it returning moments later with Dr. Bracket in tow.

"Yes it was a good ceremony, Chief Jenner did it up right this time," "He apologized for that too and told me how to make sure it never happens again." "I'll tell 'em, you just take care of yourself." "I'll tell him and don't worry about it; We'll all stop in to visit when we're off shift. . . Okay, okay, yeah I'll tell them, you just take care. Worry about yourself for a change. Bye now."

Hank slowly hung up the phone and turned to his men and guest. "That was Laura Elmer; she's awake now and trying to piece together just what happened. She said to tell you all thank you for saving her this morning and," he turned to Mike, "Thanks for the Teddy Bear."

"She says that she can't remember anything but has a vague recollection of dreaming about being chased by an evil scientist with a needle and being rescued by firemen in a flying fire engine." Everyone in the room snickered at the description.

"We all know who she thought the mad scientist was," Johnny gave Dr. Brackett a playful slap on the shoulder but regretted doing so when he saw the good doctor wince and cover his ribs.

"What do we owe this visit to Doc," Hank greeted his guest.

"Well I've been told that you could teach me a thing or two so I've come here to learn," Bracket addressed Captain Stanley and confused everyone in the room.

"Laura Elmer has been talking about something to do with teddy bears and their negative effects." Dr. Bracket began to explain, "Johnny loaned me his copy of one of her books when he was at the hospital earlier, but I can't find anything in it about teddy bears and according to the gift shop at the hospital her new book is not available for at least another week."

"I know the book you're talking about; just a minute and I'll get it." Hank left the room and Roy offered Dr. Bracket a seat and a cup of coffee.

Hank returned with the hard bound copy of 'Never Too Strong to Crumble' and placed it on the table next to Dr. Bracket. "Chapter 41 is the one about the positive and negative effects of Teddy Bears, It's quite informative but then everything I've read of hers is informative. I think the first four of five chapters will give you a better insight to her current mental state too. She describes the kind of work she does quite graphically; just reading it gave me nightmares I can't imagine what it must have been like to actually be there under those conditions, doing all those things."

"Thanks I'll see that you get this back." Dr. Bracket opened the front cover and glanced at the personalized autograph.

"No hurry doc, she gave me two copies." Hank informed, "One to mark up and make notes in and one that she autographed."

"I'll tell you what Doc, she really knows what she's talking about," Roy added from his seat across the table. "There were times I thought I was reading my own diary when I read her other book."

"She sure knew how to pull me together," Mike added, "I just wish I knew how to help her the same way."

"You sure knew just what to say to her on that ledge this morning." Bracket tried to comfort the group. "None of us were able to get close to her and you just walked right up and took a hold of her hand." Mike blushed unable to find any words to explain what had happened or the why's of it.

"Doc, I don't know if this might be important but there's one thing that has bothered me since the first day we meet her." Johnny commanded some attention as he placed one foot on the chair in front of him and leaned forward resting on his raised knee.

"What's that Johnny," Bracket inquired, he had come to learn and he felt like his trip was worth it.

"Cap was telling us the story of how she had to perform surgery on the only Doctor in her aid station, while he was a wake and talking her through it, and then had to perform surgery on several others." Johnny started to explain, "Then I said all the wrong things and asked her if they actually made it. I wished I could have taken it back as soon as I said it but---. Well the part that sticks with me is that she didn't know. She said that they made it until they were flown out to a hospital but then she never heard after that. I know Roy and I are always asking about the patients we work on. I can't even imagine not knowing if what we did made a difference, And every time something goes bad Dix is always there reminding us of one that we pulled through against the odds."

"He's right," Roy added, "You know I don't think I could keep doing this job if I didn't know I was making a difference."

"I see what you mean," Bracket rubbed his chin in thought.

"After what happened with my Dad I can see her questioning everything she's done right now." Mike added his insight.

"Fill me in about what happened to your Dad." Dr. Bracket inquired.

"My Dad, Laura and another fireman were helping at a collapsed apartment building when the three of them went through a floor and several walls collapsed on top of them. It took the rest of the crew around eight hours to dig them out and she took care of my Dad until he was freed," Mike began to explain, "When my Dad was taken out of the hole he looked really good, I've seen news footage of them loading him in a medical transport bus. She had no reason to think anything would go wrong but his heart stopped on the way to the hospital and they couldn't get it started again. She said that she didn't know until just a few weeks ago that he didn't make it."

"She told me," Hank added, "That from the description the other fireman gave she thought he'd had a blood clot go to his heart."

"Oh, that's a tough one." Dr. Bracket let out a deep and painful breath, "even if they'd have known there was a clot it would have been too risky to treat with anti coagulants until they knew exactly what they had, he could have bleed to death if they had."

"And from the sounds of things she didn't have anything like that available to her any way," Johnny added in Laura's defense.

"Didn't she say something about it taking them another forty-five minutes to get her out after the others were extricated?" Chet added.

"Yeah, she said that there was a concrete slab separating her from the other two and that the only part of the patient she was able to examine was his legs from the beam across his thighs down." Roy added.

"Add to that, we've found out that she was checked out of the hospital, so she could catch a plane before her x-rays came back. She had a skull fracture at the time." Bracket added his own information. "And if she just found out a few weeks ago that must have been close to the time her brother died."

"And all this because her publicist wanted to create some publicity," Captain Stanley shook his head in disbelief.

"Yeah, but let's not forget she saved the lives of those girls," Chet changed the tone, "Maybe we could find them and ask them to write her a thank you note. Thank you notes always make me feel better."

"What about all those kids on the bus," Mike added remembering the thank you notes he had received earlier that day. "They sent the letters to me through the fire department headquarters; I bet they don't have a clue where to send anything to Laura."

"I can check with headquarters and see if by any chance they got letters for Laura too." Hank offered.

"I think you might be on to something. I'll get Dix working on it. She knows one of the people in that organization that Laura works for." Bracket looked around at the gathered firemen. "She was right; I can learn a thing or two from you guys."

00000

It had been a quiet night at the station with only one small fire, curtains in a home set off by a scented candle that had been forgotten, and that had been around a quarter to midnight.

When the wake up tones sounded Mike tried to move but found his left arm weighed down by an over weight basset hound. Mike just raised his head and looked at his captain who was acknowledging the wake up tones.

"Would this be considered a positive teddy bear?" he asked gesturing toward the dog that was now nuzzling his ear.

"It worked before," Hank offered sheepishly, "I thought it was worth another try."

Mike just grinned and shook his head before pulling his arm out from under Henry and sitting up in bed. "Thanks Cap," he realized he felt rested and was still improving emotionally. It felt good to know he had friends who were concerned about him.

As Mike pulled his turn out pants on he watched as Henry made himself right at home in his bed and then picked the dog up and set him on the floor. "Oh no you don't pal, it's time to wake up and get going. There's work to be done."

"Hey Cap," Chet called after helping to herd Henry out into the bay and looking to make sure no one could hear him. "Are you going to put Henry in bed with Johnny next time he has a nightmare?"

"I'm not above trying it once, and if it works---," Hank responded with a smile, "But it doesn't have to be me who puts him there. Just make sure it doesn't become a game because it could loose its effectiveness if it does."

"Understood Cap," Chet responded with a smile.

00000

Doctor Brackett was awaken when the sun light shown in his eyes. He had been unable to get comfortable in his bed so he propped himself up on his sofa with pillows and read until he fell asleep with the book in his lap. He did have to admit what he had read of the book 'Never Too Strong to Crumble' was informative; it was true that you can't judge a book by its cover but in this case it took a book to explain the cover. Just how long had his patient been holding on to her mental health by mere fingernails and just what was she clinging to.

The chapter on Teddy bears was a mystery to him however. Just how did it apply to his patient? Even thought he better understood how the teddy bear had calmed her down and could see other applications for such an item in the emergency room, it was the negative effect of Teddy bears that he was sure he was missing something about at least as it applied to Miss Laura Elmer.

Due to his bruised ribs Kell had been relieved of ER duty today but he still needed to go in and do his rounds so he carefully pealed his body out of his pillows and moved slowly to the shower.

00000

At the hospital Laura had had another rough night but the enlightened nurses managed to keep her from sleepwalking into other patient's rooms and were working with maintenance to somehow block the overhead paging from her room. The decision had been made that a hospital setting was not the best for her emotional recovery and she was to be released the following afternoon as soon as she finished her antibiotic therapy. Still there were many friends that were worried about Laura's emotional health and well being.

Mike and Captain Stanley walked from the elevator together Hank carrying a large envelope of letters that had been sent to the department headquarters for someone named Laura who had worked on those injured in a bus wreck. They weren't as numerous as the stack that had been handed to Mike but any letter was better than no letter at all. Upon learning that Laura was to be released the next day Captain Stanley offered his home and family for a few days of rest and relaxation. Laura was surprised by the offer and asked for time to think about it.

In the emergency department Dixie had been following Dr. Brackett's replacement all morning helping him to find the items he needed to treat the patients but he was now in surgery so she was taking the time to work on the nurses schedule when—

"Well I'll declare doesn't the head nurse have to work around here, I should have that job I can sit around with the best of them."

"Maggie! You old war horse it's been ages." Dixie sang out as she raced around the counter at the nurse's station with out stretched arms.

Maggie threw the hook prosthesis that replaced her right hand around Dixie's shoulders for an embrace while she held on to her bag with her left hand that was missing two fingers.

"You did get my message."

"I got here as soon as I could Dix, and I brought the information you asked for. How's our girl?" Maggie's face showed all the concern Dixie had been feeling for several days.

"What do ya say I introduce you to her doctor and we'll figure that out together?" Dixie draped her arm around Maggie's shoulders and started moving toward Kell Bracket's office.

Once Dixie had returned to work Maggie set up on Dr. Brackett's phone while he looked through a photo album she had brought that showed some of the work she and Laura had done and the conditions under which they had worked.

"These pictures should be added to her latest book," Dr. Brackett commented since they brought the pages he had read last night more alive and helped him better understand not only his patient but why she hadn't gotten her shoulder taken care of at the time.

"Miss Swartz I know it's none of my business but may I ask what happened to your hands?" Kell Brackett couldn't deny his curiosity any longer.

"It's just Maggie Doc I'm too old to be a Miss anything. It was during the Korean War Doc," she began to explain. "I was assigned to help out at an aid station on the front lines for a few days and one of the boys they brought in had been booby trapped. I didn't catch it in time."

"I have to tell you that I think its amazing that you've learned how to do as much as you have with your prosthetics." Kell gestured with the photo album as he complimented, "I'm sure it wasn't easy.

"Laura get's most of the credit Doc. She wouldn't put up with me feeling sorry for my self and knew the exact place to apply a swift kick. She then helped me find a place that would allow me to work as a nurse, where I could be useful again. There's still some things I can't do but there is plenty I can. It sure feels good to do what I can."

The next morning all kinds of people started arriving in the emergency department asking for Dixie McCall. By the time Laura was dressed and ready to leave the west wing of the cafeteria was full.

Once Laura was dressed and her medications delivered Dixie was waiting in the hall with a wheelchair as she tried to sneak out of the room, with six off duty firemen in street clothes at her side to make sure Laura got in it.

"Are you guys here to make sure I get to the ground level and stay there?" Laura asked as the group walked as a whole to the elevator.

"Something like that," Mike answered with a smile.

"Am I being kidnapped?" Laura questioned again being very aware that something was up and was starting to form an escape plan.

"Probably," Captain Stanley answered with a much better poker face.

When they reached the ground floor and the group made a turn toward the cafeteria Laura questioned. "But I've all ready had my lunch."

"Yeah, but you didn't eat your desert." Johnny responded with a smile but he made sure he stayed behind her so it didn't show too obviously.

As two firemen pulled open a set of double doors four children under the age of five each with a different ethnic heritage came running with their arms held wide.

"Mara, Mara," they each screamed as they climbed on Laura's wheelchair fighting to be the first one to throw their arms around her neck.

"That's a contraction for My Laura," Maggie explained bringing her presents to Laura's attention. "Now you children be careful of Laura's owwie's."

"Maggie! What brings you here?"

"You do," Maggie answered with a hug and then straitened up. "There's a whole lot of people who have wanted to tell you a thing or two and Dix and Dr. Brackett here have finally been able to tie you down long enough for them all to find you."

"What?" Laura was confused. "Who?"

Dixie responded to her cue and pushed the wheelchair through the doors and Laura scanned the room in confusion as everyone there made a path way. Captain Stanley moved next to his wife and place his arm around her as Roy found his wife and gave her a quick kiss. Mike was soon flanked by his Mother and youngest sister while Johnny, Marco, and Chet looked for pretty girls to stand next to in hopes of a chance to introduce themselves.

Two sets of parents retrieved their children from Laura's wheelchair as she was moved into the room.

"I don't know if you remember me but I was one of the girls you helped to rescue from that apartment explosion about six months ago." The first girl in line explained as she shook Laura's good hand. "My room mates weren't able to be here today but they sent letters." She handed over four envelopes.

"Do you remember having to do surgery on me to reinflate my lungs after I was crushed in an after shock in Indonesia?" another person said in broken English. "I wouldn't be alive now if it wasn't for you."

"I bring a letter of thank you for all that you did in my village," said another.

As Laura was pushed around the room her lap was piled high with letters and cards and certificates and her eyes grew moist. Many in the room didn't say anything just quietly slipped a letter into her lap that included the six firefighters from station 51 along with a couple of doctors and several nurses from Rampart. In the back ground cheerleaders from the wrecked school bus were chanting of Laura's greatness as she was moved along.

When it looked like Laura had reached the end of the line the group parted to reveal a man of oriental decent who walked forward and showed off his leg.

"Dr. Chung! You kept the leg." Laura exclaimed as she rose from her wheel chair dropping all that was in her lap on the floor as she walked toward the doctor in wonder while everyone in the room joined in a round of 'for she's a jolly good fellow'.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Mike arrived early for his shift and noticed Henry waddling out of the dorm toward the day room. Apparently the C shift captain had talked to Captain Stanley about the Newby fireman that was having trouble sleeping after a particularly horrid Auto fatality.

Hopefully Henry did as much good for that guy as he had done for him on the few nights he needed a teddy bear. He hadn't needed him for several weeks now his life was back to where he needed it to be.

It had been nearly a month since Laura was whisked out of the hospital by her friend with the prosthetic hand and the Doctor whose leg she'd saved. Mike felt bad that he hadn't had a chance to say good-bye but Cap had explained that the guy taking all the pictures that day was her publicist who was making plans for her during her recovery.

She had literally been kidnapped to protect her from him.

Even though she was gone her influence was still felt at the station. Mike had managed to read all three of her books and marveled at the words of wisdom and advice packed in them. The rest of the guys were quick to agree. The big dismay was that Chet was now pulling jokes on everyone but Johnny. This was just as good as pulling them on Johnny because he was so sure the jokes were coming his way he was making a fool of himself to keep from getting got.

Mike moved on to the day room and started the coffee before he sat down to read the paper while he was waiting for the rest of the crew to come in.

When everyone assembled for roll call all was routine, Announcements were read, assignments were handed out and then—

"We received a letter last shift from a Miss Laura Elmer addressed to all of us. Do I have any volunteers to read it out loud?"

"Mike will," Johnny and Chet spoke at the same time, While Roy and Marco just pointed at him.

Cap just smiled and pulled the opened envelope from his clip board and handed it to Roy who passed it down to Mike. Mike pulled the pages from the envelope and unfolded them before clearing his voice.

To Captain Stanley and the Firemen of Station 51

Sorry I didn't say a better good bye but that wasn't my idea. After all that you have invested in me I thought it only fare that I drop you a line and let you know that I'm still hanging in there.

After being bounced around to the homes of several of my co workers I am now staying and working as a nurse in a youth camp here in upstate Washington. My new specialties are recognizing all the symptoms of homesickness, spider bits and poison ivy with a few sprained ankles and scrapped knees thrown in for variety. It's as boring as hell but that's just what I need right now. Although I did have an allergic reaction to a bee sting last week that had me hopping for a while and a kid that got sprayed by a skunk just to add a little excitement to my life.

My shoulder is healed now and I'm able to do some jogging, swimming and mountain climbing which is making sleeping a lot more possible. I can now say that I'm sleeping at least as many nights as I can't, so that's real progress. The Shrink I'm seeing once a week says I have a classic case of the new catch all diagnosis. Something called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder or PTSD, I'm sure I'll be able to set him straight by the time he's through with me.

I'm planning on writing another book; it's worked for me in the past so why not try it again. This job is only going to last another three months and I don't know what I'll do after that but for now I'm just taking life one day at a time.

I want to thank you all for your friendship I don't think you have any idea how much I needed it when I was in LA.

If you happen up this way feel free to drop in and say hi and if I find my way back in your neck of the woods I'll be sure to ask for an escort to station 51 again so I can say hi.

Keep up the good work and making a difference in the live of those you meet.

Your friend and Associate

Laura Elmer.

THE END


End file.
